One More Day
by choose joy xox
Summary: "If only Spencer could see how fate had been slowly intertwining her path together with theirs. Right now she was drowning, and she was barely able to hold herself above the water; those people would be the ones to save her." When tragedy struck, Spencer thought that her life was over. Then she met Toby Cavanaugh and everything changed. Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Let me just start by saying, THIS IS A SPOBY STORY. You wouldn't know that by the first chapter, but THIS IS A SPOBY STORY. The next chapter is from his POV. I think you'll get everything that you need from the story. This chapter should leave you with questions and confusion. Sorry not sorry!**

**Review and let me know what you think! I know I have other stories in progress. I should be focusing on those, but this just kind of came to me while I was working on homework, and it had to be told. **

**The next chapter is written and will be up in the next couple days. After that there should be a weekly update.**

**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! I don't want to spend time on something that no one likes. Also let me know your theories as to what's going on :)**

Chapter 1

SPOV

_Beep Beep Beep Beep_

Apparently someone thought they'd be clever and set her alarm. What they weren't anticipating was that she'd already be awake. In her old life, Spencer Hastings woke up with the sun to work out or study, but now she just didn't sleep very much. This was clearly evidenced by the perpetual, pronounced dark circles beneath her dull eyes. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Spencer."

She didn't look up as her mother glided into her room, but had she felt the need she knew that her eyes would have been met with her mother's typical lawyer attire. The woman stood in front of Spencer in bed with pursed lips, and Spencer wasn't disappointed by her appearance. Today's pant suit was a fabulously awful shade of salmon.

"Spencer, it's your first day of school. You need to get up."

Because reminding her of her impending torture was definitely the best way to wake her up. Her parents had decided that the first day of her senior year was the appropriate time for her reintroduction to the education scene. This was further acerbated by their thrusting her into a new school environment. It was no more private school for her. Today marked the day that she joined the serfs at public school.

Her eyes were burned by a sudden burst of light as her mom pulled open her curtains. "What the hell, mom? Are you trying to burn out my retinas?"

"It's time to get up, dear. You aren't getting out of this, so you might as well make it as painless as possible." She gave Spencer one last pointed stare before walking out of the room. She could hear the light thuds as her mom made her way down the stairs, and before too long the subtle aroma of bacon tickled her nose.

Bacon and sunlight were two things that made it impossible to sleep. She had changed so drastically in the past six months, but one thing that remained the same was that once she was up she was up. There was no rolling over for five more minutes of sleep. In her old life she prided this aspect of herself, but now it was nothing more than an inconvenience that stood in the way of her apathetic slumber.

A soft sigh slipped through her lips as she surveyed her room. The last thing that she wanted to do was to attend Rosewood High School. All she wanted to do was curl back up in bed. She used to enjoy school, but not anymore. It wasn't that she suddenly stopped enjoying education and the gathering of knowledge, it was just more that she didn't feel like she deserved to do anything that she enjoyed. After- after what she did she deserved to be nothing but miserable.

As she surveyed her closet she thought back to last year with a pang of sadness. What she wouldn't do to have Aria by her side now. The only person that she wanted to talk about this with was the one person that it was impossible to talk to.

_"Aria! Get up!"_

_She snatched a pillow from her discarded pile and smacked her best friend in the back of the head. "Up!"_

_It was impossible to hold back the laughter as Aria yelped and rolled out of the bed. She landed with a thump on the floor. Muted curses fell out of her tired mouth. "Worst best friend ever," she mumbled through the sleep._

_"If you make me late for French you're going to have to get back in the best friend market," she snapped in faux-seriousness. _

_"Yeah, sure," Aria laughed tiredly and made her way to Spencer's over-sized closet. "Now, what are you going to wear?"_

She couldn't stand to look in her closet for long. It was too full of memories. Half of her wardrobe had been purchased in the company of her tiny best friend. A flash of Aria's face the last time that she saw her passed through Spencer's mind, and she had to choke back a sob. If she let herself go down that road she was never going to be able to bring herself to leave the room. If the tears started they weren't going to stop. She would cry until the tears soaked her face and her tear ducts could produce no more of the salt water droplets.

"Spencer!"

"I'm getting dressed mom!" She leaned her head out the door to let her mom know that she was getting ready. If not the woman was liable to walk into her room while she was stark naked. That was definitely something that she desired to avoid.

It didn't matter what she looked like. In the past she avoided casual clothes like the plague. She remembered telling Aria on more than one occasion that cotton gave her hives. But really, who was she trying to impress? Not only did she not think that she would make friends, but she did not _want _to make friends. Aria would have been infinitely better off had she not gotten involved with Spencer, and there was no way in the world she would subject anyone else to her fate. Being her friend was bad luck, and that was all there was to it.

She quickly pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and an oversized grey hoodie. Straightening her hair took effort that she had no intention of dispensing toward something as trivial as physical appearance. She carefully used her fingers to come her hair in front of her face and to cover the pronounced scar across her forehead. If she cared about what people thought of her she could probably lighten the scar with makeup, but it just didn't matter.

The smell of coffee and bacon was too much for her to avoid any longer. Food didn't hold a lot of interest for her, but the prominent rumble in her stomach was too much to ignore. She slowly made her way down the stairs, keeping her eyes on the ground to avoid unnecessary eye contact. Eye contact led to questions which led to the allusion of caring. She couldn't let anyone think that she cared.

"Spencer, what are you wearing?" Mrs. Hastings' sigh was more annoyed than concerned this time.

Spencer didn't want to make her mom mad, but she wasn't going to change. "Clothes," she said softly and perched on the edge of a bar stool.

Her mother passed her a small plate of food and a cup of coffee. Spencer could practically feel her desire to argue about her clothes, but she appreciated the way that she refrained from lecturing her. The new Spencer was particularly hard on her family, and it was nice that they seemed to be finally accepting that this was who she was now.

"Spencer?"

The bacon froze on its way to her mouth at the sound of her cousin's voice. "Emily," she said softly and turned to look at her with wide eyes. She knew that part of the reason that her parents were making her attend Rosewood High School was so that Emily could keep an eye on her, but she didn't think that extended to her needing to accompany her to the building.

The shocked look on Emily's face confused her for a moment until she realized that this was the first time that she had seen her since everything had gone down. She wasn't used to this yet. "I understand if you don't want to be seen with me," she offered up to fill in the silence.

"No. No, no Spencer that's not it. I- you just look really different."

She snorted and bit off a piece of bacon. "Lazy? Dumb? Like I'm off to yoga? Those are mom's favorite adjectives."

Emily took a sip of orange juice and thoughtfully took in her cousin's outfit. "No, I was going to say relaxed. Are you ready to get going?"

Spencer nodded and gathered her messenger bag from the chair in the living room. In a way, she supposed she was lucky that Emily came to get her. She would rather chew off her own arm than get behind the wheel of a car, and it was a decent walk. Her stomach still twisted in annoyance at the thought of being late. "Thanks for picking me up," she said as he slid into the passenger seat of Emily's car.

"Spencer, you don't have to thank me. I'm excited to have you finally be at the same school as me. You'll sit with me and my friends at lunch, right?"

Part of her just wanted to sit in the bathroom with a book, but the larger part of her knew that Emily would tell her mom. If she wanted to prove to her mom that she wasn't depressed it at least needed to seem like she was making an effort. "Sure."

At that moment she was reluctantly agreeing, but if only she knew what the future held. If only she could see how fate had been slowly intertwining her path with the paths of those at that table. Right now she was drowning, and she was barely able to hold herself above the water; those people would be the ones to save her. She had no idea what was coming.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter guys. This is up so soon just to give you a taste of where this is going, but I'm pretty sure it won't give away too much. The next chapter will be up at some point during the weekend, but not before this chapter gets 5 reviews. **

**I love all my readers, and I love that I'm getting new readers for this story. You guys should also go check out my other multi-chapter fic, Unchained Melody. I kind of like it a bit. Anyways, LOVE YOU. Onto the story.**

**As always, let me know what you think! And let me know where you think this is going :)**

Chapter 2

TPOV

Toby Cavanaugh could barely suppress a groan of frustration as he skillfully maneuvered his way through the crowded hallways of Rosewood High School. Four hours in to his senior year and he was decidedly done with the whole education thing. Algebra, History, and Spanish floated through his mind like a twisted amusement park ride.

School was a waste of time. Admittedly, it was more important for some people than others. But he had no reason to be there. His future didn't involve college; he already had all the skills that he was going to need to be a successful carpenter. The ones that he didn't have wouldn't be learned in this stifling building.

"Toby."

Oh good God. The hair on his neck stood up at the grating voice of his ex-girlfriend. He was not going to embarrass her, but she needed a reality check. He didn't want anything to do with her. His ignoring her all summer should have been a clear indication of that, but he should have known better. The girl was as obtuse as they came. "Alison, is there something that you needed?"

"I know you had a silly lapse in judgement and broke up with me, but you have to have seen reason by now. Do you want to go to Noel Kahn's party with me tonight? We can just pick up where we left off." She ran her small, cool hand down his bicep as if to punctuate her asinine request.

He sighed and took a deliberate step away from her. "We're still done, Alison. You need to let it go."

"But Toby-"

This wasn't something that he wanted to hear. It was lunch time, and he wanted to go see his friends. He had spent the summer with his mom in Maryland, so he hadn't been able to spend time with them in months. He shrugged away from the overwhelming presence of Alison DiLaurentis when his blue eyes found the table full of his favorite people.

He slid into the seat between Hanna and Maya without looking up. "I don't know if I can bring myself to eat whatever mystery meat that the cafeteria is going to try to pass off as a casserole," he groaned.

A piece of string cheese bounced off of his head. He snagged the snack off of the table and looked up to smile at one of his best friends. "Thanks Em."

"No problem, T. Have you met my cousin?" Emily's voice was careful, as though she were speaking to a skittish dog or a small child. She gestured to her left with wide eyes.

He turned to the small girl next to Emily and his forehead wrinkled in concern. He had truly never seen someone who exuded so much sadness. Her face was hidden by a curtain of silky brown hair, but despair radiated off of her and hit him like a wave. "Hi, I'm Toby."

She lifted her head slightly and brushed away her hair. He was struck by the complex emotions buried in her eyes. It was as though the brown orbs pierced through him when they met his eyes. "Spencer," she murmured and looked back down.

Emily sighed and looked at her cousin for a moment before turning back to Toby, Hanna, and Maya with a forced smile. "Spencer used to go to the private school across town, but she transferred here for her senior year."

"Oh, really? Why?" Hanna asked curiously from across the table. "I've seen some of the boys at that school, and if I were you I never would have left."

"Excuse you," Caleb joked as he sat down next to Emily. He tucked his long hair behind his ear and smiled around Emily. "Hey again, Spencer."

Emily gave him a curious glance. "You guys already met?"

"Uh yeah." He mumbled from around his mouthful of peanut butter and jelly. Toby wrinkled his nose in disgust, but didn't say anything. He knew from previous experience that Caleb was very defensive about his disgusting habits. "She's in my Russian History class, and she saved my ass. I couldn't tell you the difference between Russia and Australia. If she hadn't helped me Mr. Freidenburg would have tossed me out on my face."

"You weren't that bad," Spencer mumbled from Emily's other side and picked at her salad. Toby watched the progress of her fork and noticed that she didn't eat anything. "It was just kind of hard."

Emily's hesitant smile stretched across her face and turned into a wide grin. It was like those few words made her entire day. Toby had known Emily since kindergarten, and he knew that she was naturally empathetic, but this took things to a new level. Why was she so worried? Emily gave a pointed glance at each of the four people that weren't Spencer before turning back to her cousin. "Spencer's the smartest person that I've ever met. I have a running theory that her parents replaced her brain with a computer when she was born."

Spencer snorted and the ghost of a smile transformed her features. Toby was struck by just how different she looked. Usually he found brown eyes dull and one dimensional, but not Spencer's. Spencer's were full to the brim of complex emotions. When she smiled little flecks of bronze sprinkled around her pupil. She was beautiful.

"Yeah, the did it the same time that your parents replaced your arms with flippers, swim star." Spencer's smile grew a little. But then it was like something snapped in her brain. She blushed and looked down at the table. Her arms pulled around her body like she was cold and she eyed the exit.

Emily's smile didn't fade as she continued to question her cousin. "Spence, what class do you have next?"

"Biology," she murmured in a barely audible mush of words.

Somehow they managed to reach his ear, and he perked up a bit. "I'm in that class too." He found himself talking more quietly than usual, not wanting to frighten this sad, mysterious, beautiful girl. He had no idea why he found her to be so intriguing, but there was something deep down inside of him that knew that there was something different about her.

Caleb laughed from next to Emily. "I hope you're as good at science as you are at history, Spencer. Toby's a lost cause."

"Excuse you!" Toby repeated Caleb's words from earlier with no annoyance behind them. He was right. When it came to any kind of science he was about as useful as a fish out of water. Math was his subject of choice.

"Well, lucky for you Spencer's a science genius. When we were 12 I tricked her into doing my science fair project for me, and she wasn't even upset because she had so much fun doing it." Emily smirked at Spencer, and Toby swore that he saw the smaller girl's shoulders sake in suppressed laughter. But before any positive emotions graced her face she ducked her head again. It was like making eye contact was too much for her.

Toby laughed harder than he usually would have. But he felt like this girl needed a reminder that there were still things to be joyful about in the world. "Well I'm glad I'll have you then, Spencer. I really am hopeless when it comes to science."

Spencer gave him a short smile. She gave a pronounced glance at her watch before carefully standing up. "I'm going to go. I don't want to be late on my first day."

"Wait, Spence do you want me to come with you?" Emily's smile was slowly fading. Her forehead puckered in concern as she watched her cousin gather her things.

"No, stay with your friends. I'm fine, Em. Really." She offered Emily a reassuring smile, gave the rest of a quick wave, and slowly made her way out of the crowded cafeteria.

When she stood up Toby took in just how thin she was. It shouldn't have come as a surprise considering she took maybe a single bite of her salad, but it was still shocking. He felt obligated to make sure she got out of the cafeteria alright, because he was afraid that she would snap in half if someone bumped into her. As soon as her frail body exited the cafeteria he turned his gaze onto Emily. "What's her story, Em? Why is she so sad?"

"Is she sad? I thought she was just quiet." Caleb was as clueless as always. He had spent more time with her than anyone but Emily. He should have been the first one to pick up on her overwhelming despair.

Hanna balled up her napkin and threw it at his head just as Maya chucked her spoon at his arm. "Caleb, I love you, but you have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

"Alright, Hermione Granger," he snorted and tossed the napkin back at her.

They continued to bicker back and forth in the way that only they could, but Toby wasn't listening. He kept his eyes on Emily, waiting for a response. She frowned at him for a moment as she contemplated how to best answer. "It's- it's not my story to tell. Just suffice it to say that she went through something really hard. Something that no one should ever have to deal with, especially someone our age."

As curious as he was he had to respect Emily's dedication to her cousin. There were demons buried in his past that he didn't want drawn to the surface, so he had to respect someone else with the same wishes. "Is she okay?"

"Physically? She's fine." Emily's eyes shifted toward the door that Spencer had just left through. "Mentally and emotionally? Not even close. She- she wasn't always like that. Spencer was poised, classy, funny, smart, and just a friend to everyone. Then- then it happened and she completed changed. It was bad. And she blames herself. She's _such _a good person, but she doesn't see herself that way anymore. That's all I want to say, but yeah. I hope that answers your question."

Was it possible to have your heart break for someone that you didn't even know? But there was something about that girl. He didn't know what it was, but what he did know was that he wanted to help her. He'd gone through the ringer in the past, and sometimes it just took having someone on your side to remind you of who you were. There was just- just something different about her; something endearing that brought out the most intense protective instincts that he had ever felt.

"Toby?"

He was torn from his thoughts by Emily's voice. He met her eyes in a questioning stare. She gave him her signature Emily smile and passed him her individual bag of Doritos. "I don't want these," she laughed. "But what I really wanted to ask was whether you'd look after her? I know you have class with her. Just- just text me if it seems like something's going wrong."

"Of course. I'll make sure she's alright, Em. You know you can trust me." He would have looked after her regardless, but Emily's plea renewed his desire.

Before they could continue to converse the bell rang, and they all quickly parted way to start their afternoon classes. It was just another day day in high school. But maybe that wasn't necessarily true. Spencer was anything but typical. Despite her obvious issues, he was intrigued. Not as a mystery, but in her as a person. He wanted to know more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, guys first I just want to say that the Aria flashback in this chapter? Totally happened to me. Most interesting moment in my entire life. Like the actual flashback, not the dream.**

**I think you guys will notice that Spencer's a little conflicted in this chapter, which is totally intentional. Also, like I dislike Emily about ninety percent of the time, but I think that I'm making myself like her. It's weird.**

**Anyways, I'm LOVING your response to this! To those of you who were begging me for the story, I'm sure you can guess the gist of it from this chapter, but I assure you that there's more too it! Wait for it, wait for it!**

**As always, review and let me know what you think! The next chapter should be up mid-week! Unless you guys are brilliant at the reviews and I'll try to post it sooner!**

Chapter 3

SPOV

_"Aria! Please Aria, wake up."_

_Broken glass. Blood. Her throat was raw from her screams. Tears burned her eyes. "Aria please!"_

_But it was useless. The broken body of her best friend laid motionless next to her. And it was all her fault._

"No!"

She pulled herself into a sitting position, her sheets tangled around her legs. Her curly brown hair stuck to her sweaty forehead as she frantically looked around her room. Was it not bad enough that it had happened? Did her mind have to be such a finicky little bastard and remind her about it every single night? She couldn't close her eyes without thinking about Aria. Was it really necessary that her dreams be plagued by the actual event?

It took her off guard how much it still hurt. She would have thought that after time passed, after the days had turned into months, that the gaping hole in her chest would have begun to fill. Oh how wrong she was. It as badly now as it always had. And apparently it always will.

Her eyes quickly diverted to the door at the sound of a sharp knock. "Spencer, are you alright?"

Somehow she felt relieved that it was her dad. He was so much less invasive than her mom. Her mom probably would have barged in to check under her bed for intruders. It didn't matter that she had awoken that way for the past year. Her dad was much easier to deal with. "I'm fine," she murmured in an insubstantial whisper.

Her words carried no weight, but they seemed to have satisfied her apathetic father. Having her as a daughter must get tiresome. Part of her wished that she could be the emotionless monster that the rest of the world say her as, because his lack of caring sent a sharp sting through her chest. It didn't matter though. Maybe she deserved the pain. Maybe she deserved the indifference.

Her phone beeped from its designated spot on her meticulously organized nightstand. She slid it into her hand and quickly scanned the unread text message.

_'Spence, do you want me to pick you up? -Em'_

If Emily kept being so wonderful she was going to find it very difficult to keep up her indifferent attitude. She couldn't get close to anyone. It hurt too much when you lost them. But as she glanced out the window she could see that it was raining. A ride would make her day considerably less awful. She typed out a quick response.

_'Yes, please. -S'_

She sighed and made her way to her walk-in closet. School days last year were an event. Now they were essentially a non-event. She pulled an oversized black tanktop and a pair of jeans out of her closet. She made sure to brush the knots out of her mane of curls, but that was the extent of pains she took toward her appearance. Who was there to impress?

Silently she slid out her bedroom door and padded downstairs to the kitchen. Before she entered the room she heard her parents having a muted conversation.

"Peter, we have to do something about her. She can't keep living like this."

The clink of a spoon against a cup carried around the corner as her father thoughtfully stirred his coffee. "She watched her best friend die, Veronica. She's not going to bounce back from that overnight."

"Yes, but seeing her like this just hurts so much and-"

She had heard enough. This conversation was taking a turn that she didn't want to think about. If she allowed them to continue it was going to send her into a state that would make it impossible for her to attend school. She took a shallow breath and rounded the corner. As soon as her mom saw her she snapped her mouth shut and plastered an overenthusiastic smile on her face. "Spencer! Can I get you something to eat?"

"No," she murmured and walked across the kitchen to her oasis. Her fingers eagerly wrapped around her favorite mug and poured it to the brim full of the expensive Colombian roast that her parents liked so much. Most of the time the fact that her family was so well off embarrassed her, but when she sipped on the rich, bitter flavor of her liquid heaven she momentarily appreciated that they could afford luxuries like this.

She watched as a flash of pain swept through her mother's eyes and pursed her lips together. She grabbed a granola bar off of the table to pacify her. Being a source of pain for everyone who cared about her was sickening. "Better?"

The hope immediately lit up her mom's face, and Spencer felt even more like shit than she had previously. What kind of monster had she been that taking a bite of a granola bar is enough to cause this kind of reaction? "Yes, thank you for being cooperative. Do you need a ride to school? Or do you want to drive?"

She snorted at her mother's subtle hint. That much progress was a long way off, and it was perhaps unobtainable. Before she was able to respond a horn beeped from outside. "No," she laughed quietly. "Emily's here."

As she walked out to her cousin's car she swore to herself that she would try harder for her parents. She didn't have to be happy, but at least she could convince them that she wasn't miserable. Her actions had ruined more than enough lives. It was better for her to feel pain than for her to be the cause of more pain. She gratefully slid into the warmth of Emily's car and began to wring out her hair. "Thanks for coming to get me," she said in her usual soft voice.

"You don't have to thank me," Emily replied in her typical, friendly tone. Her cousin was overly optimistic, and she loved her for it.

In the months that had passed she completely shut herself off from the world, and she thought she was okay. But these last few days at Rosewood High were showing her just how much she had missed her caring, empathetic, cousin. Emily had always been one of her favorite people. Maybe it was time to be more open to everyone.

As they drove down the soaked streets Emily flipped through the radio. She settled on "Firework" by Katy Perry. Spencer's eyes swerved to look out the window, and while she listened to the peppy music she allowed her mind to wonder.

_"Spencer! How did you **not **like that concert?"_

_She laughed as the walked through the empty streets of Rosewood. It was always amusing coming from the crowded city of Philadelphia to the sleepy little town of Rosewood. The paradox of people took some time to reconcile in her mind. "I don't know, Aria. I guess I've just never been a fan of Katy Perry."_

_"You're a freak," Aria laughed as she skipped ahead of her. "She's like us. She's one of the people."_

_"Aria y-"_

_Her words came to an immediate halt as a red object sailed through the air and landed with a splat in front of her. "What the hell was that?"_

_Aria turned back around and poked the object with the toe of her boot. "Is that- is that a tomato?"_

_"YES! IT'S A TOMATO FRESH FROM MY GARDEN! WELL- IT'S NOT SO FRESH ANYMORE!"_

_Spencer's eyes whipped up in the direction of the shouts, but the window that it was yelled from snapped shut with a bang. The two girls made incredulous eye contact for a moment before dissolving into hysterical laughter._

"Spencer?"

She blinked a few times, her head swiveling to look at Emily. Emily smiled softly and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "We're at school. Are you okay?"

"Um-" she looked out the window and was surprised to see that they were parked outside the brick building of Rosewood High, "um, yeah. I was just thinking about-"

"About Aria?" Emily asked her hesitantly. "I- I know you probably don't want to talk about this, Spencer, and that's fine. But I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I only met her a few times, but she was a wonderful person."

Pain washed over her like a wave. She shouldn't be getting apologies or sympathy. Most of her wanted to run away, but a larger part of her knew that that time had passed. She had spent the summer holed up in her room, and that caused little to no collateral damage. Now things were different. She had caused enough pain for one lifetime. Maybe it was time to start living again; or at least faking it. "She was," Spencer murmured and climbed out of the car.

She flashed Emily the best smile that she could manage so that it was apparent that she was not angry before ducking in to the school building. The hallways were crowded, so she ducked between people doing their best not to make waves.

"Yo, what's your name? I haven't seen you around here before."

A large hand clasped on her shoulder. Spencer flinched away and turned around, her eyes wide. "Don't touch me." Her voice wasn't loud, but it left no room for argument.

"Sorry beautiful, I'm Noel. What's your name?"

She rolled her eyes and turned away to grab the books that she needed. "Spencer."

"You know, if you didn't wear those boy clothes you'd be pretty hot."

"Is there a problem here?"

It was almost comical how relieved she felt when Toby Cavanaugh walked up behind her. She had known the guy for about twenty-four hours now, but it was more than apparent that he was a good guy. Which is much more than she could say for the sleazebag in front of her.

"Everything's fine, Cavanaugh. Keep your panties on. I was just welcoming the new girl." Noel shot Spencer a quick wink turned on his heel and walked down the hallway.

As soon as Noel was out of sight he turned to Spencer with a concerned frown. "Are you alright Spencer?"

"I'm fine," she murmured as she shot him a genuine smile. "Thanks though. Is he always so creepy?"

"Yep, Noel Kahn is the senior class pervert." His eyes moved upward as the warning bell rang. "I've got to get to class. See you at lunch."

After her confrontational morning the hours until lunch passed by at a snail's pace. There was a downside to being more intelligent than a majority of your peers and that was that classes could be mind-numbingly boring. She sighed and leaned back in her chair. She had read To Kill a Mockingbird maybe one hundred times for pleasure. It was completely unnecessary to listen to a lecture by a teacher who only had a marginal understanding of the work itself.

When the bell rang she pulled herself out of her desk and reluctantly made her way to the cafeteria. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Emily and her friends. They were actually kind of wonderful. It was just that with her earlier decision to try to be open to people, she was scared. Friendships left you open to this unendurable kind of pain. She missed Aria every single day, and as she slid into the seat next to Emily she instinctively knew that she would not survive that kind of loss again.

"Spencer!"

Her eyes widened in alarm at Hanna's friendly voice. She wasn't aware that she had made a good impression the one other time that she had met the girl. "Hanna," she replied in a voice that semi-mocked Hanna's enthusiasm.

"We're all getting together at my house this weekend! Please, please, please, pretty please with a cherry on top, tell me you'll come too!"

Spencer studied the blonde's expression, seeking out any signs of insincerity. Did she actually want her to come, or was she just trying to be nice to her friend's cousin? "Um, I wouldn't want to intrude."

"No! I want you there! Besides, I bought this cute dress. I decided that I didn't want it, but I bet it would look adorable on you! Please come! Emily will be there, so it's not like you'll be hanging out with a bunch of strangers."

Hanna's enthusiasm was contagious. She had honestly never met someone with such a spark and thirst for life. It was refreshing, and Spencer couldn't help but want to get to know her. "Alright," she murmured.

"Don't worry, Spencer," Maya laughed as she teasingly punched Hanna in the shoulder. "I was a newbie to this group too. The initiation is fairly painless. Just some silly little blood oath."

"Oh that was nothing compared to my group at my old school. We made this new girl fill the gymnasium with farm animals," she joked. And then as soon as she realized what she said she blushed. What was it about these people that made her want to tear down all of her walls?

Hanna wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "Wait, did you really? I can't decide if that's funny or gross."

"Hanna, gullible is written on the ceiling," Caleb said seriously from his spot across from her.

Even Spencer couldn't hold back a laugh as Hanna immediately turned to the ceiling to check. This girl was like no one she had ever met before, and she couldn't help but appreciate her company.

Caleb dodged the cup that Hanna tossed at his head with a laugh. "There are way too many chicks at this table. Where's Cavanaugh?"

"He's in the library," Maya supplied. "Apparently it's possible to already be behind in French on the second day of school."

Something stirred in her stomach. In the past she would have immediately offered to help Toby. She was practically fluent in French, having studied it since elementary school. But now she didn't know. She could feel Emily's observant eyes on her as though she knew exactly what she was thinking.

"That's Toby for you. If it doesn't involve carpentry or his motorcycle then he doesn't care."

The sound of the school bell reverberated throughout the cafeteria, effectively cutting off their conversation. Spencer gathered her books and made her way out of the holding cell that was the cafeteria.

"Spencer, wait up!"

If it had been anyone else she probably would have pretended that she didn't hear them, but because it was Emily she slowed down so that she could catch up.

Emily skidded to a stop next to her and gave her the kind of smile that suggested that Spencer had made her entire week. Emily was such an easy person to please, and she was so optimistic. It made her a naturally easy person to be around. There were no expectations when it came to Emily. She was always friendly, and she was what you needed her to be. "Spencer, I don't want to be awkward or anything, but I am seriously so proud of you."

"I-" She wanted to brush it off, but if she couldn't open up to Emily then who could she open up to? "I'm just sick of being so closed off. Your friends are nice."

Emily wrapped her arms around her in a quick hug as they approached the Biology room. "I need to get to History, but we'll talk more after school, okay?"

Before Spencer had a chance to respond Emily hurried off down the hallway. She sighed and found a seat in the back of her classroom. Maybe she had handled her grief all wrong. Maybe this was a better way to live. She still missed Aria with every single part of her entire being, but did that really mean that she had to cut herself off from the world? But even as she thought that the sharp sting of guilt shot through her stomach. Aria wasn't just gone. She was gone, and it was completely Spencer's fault. But would Aria really blame her? Spencer groaned and shook her head to clear out those thoughts. That was much too deep of an internal debate to have in the middle of a high school Biology class.

"Hey, Spencer."

She couldn't hold back a small smile as Toby sat down next to her. "Hey, how was French studying?"

"Horrible," he groaned. "I'm about as good at French as I am at Biology."

She bit her lip, knowing that she might regret what she was about to say. "I can help you if you want."

"You cannot seriously be good at every subject," he laughed and dug his notebook out. He offered her a piece of Wintergreen gum, and she took it gratefully. They were gum compatible. That was good to know. You can judge a lot about a person by the kind of gum that they chew. There was something shifty about those fruit gum people.

"Some people are good at sports. I'm good at school," she shrugged and popped the stick of gum into her mouth.

"I'm good at neither," he chuckled and began to chew on his own piece. "I'm not good at much."

Even now she didn't like it when people got down on themselves. Nobody was perfect, but there was something good about everyone. "I heard that you were good at carpentry."

His turned to her in surprise, but before he could respond Mr. Green walked in and began the lecture.

Their Biology class at her old school was ahead of this class so she tuned out, doodling in the margins of her paper until Mr. Green said her least favorite words. "And now I'm going to assign your first group project."

Great, group projects. She had to socialize, and she would end up doing all the work because she would inevitably be paired up with a moron. That was her luck as of late.

"I'm going to let you pick your own groups, but let me go ahead and explain the assignment first. I want you to pick the small mammal of your choosing and make a replica of their skeletal system. Obviously, it doesn't have to be to scale, but the bones should be accurate."

As he finished his description the class erupted in chatter as they tried to find the best partner. Spencer just kept her eyes trained on her desk knowing that the new kid was going to get whoever was leftover.

"Spencer, do you want to be my partner?"

She looked up at him incredulously. "Are you sure? Don't you have another friend in the class you'd rather be with?"

"Nah. You're the only person in this class worth talking too. What do you say? Partner?"

His cheesy, earnest grin was contagious and impossible to deny. "Partner." She gave him a tentative smile and turned back to her notebook. There was something different about him.


	4. Chapter 4

**SO SORRY that it's been so long, guys! I've just gotten busy, and I've lost my writing mojo a bit. But this story will absolutely, 100% get done. It will just be a slower update than you're used to if you read my other stories!**

**Leave me a review and let me know what you think! The next chapter is mostly Spencer and the girls, but there's some cute Spoby coming up soon! I really hope you're enjoying this story :)**

Chapter 4

SPOV

As usual, Spencer shot up in bed with a heart-stopping jolt. The lingering horror of her nightmare slipped through the frayed edges of her mind. She could not quite recall exact details of her dream, but flashes of blood and twisted metal flashed through her mind like some kind of disturbed picture book.

The rest of her first week at Rosewood High flew by in an unexpected whirlwind. On Monday she expected it to be nothing but a pure nightmare, but it was actually relatively therapeutic. She was a long way from healed, but for the first time in a long time she felt like a person again. She felt like more than a burden. Aria still weighed heavily on her mind, but it was a less all-consuming pain.

"Spencer?"

She sighed and pulled herself into a sitting position. Apparently her improved mood was not as apparent to her mother. This morning, the same as every other morning, her mother barged into her room, hoping to brighten the start to her day. Mostly it just annoyed her. "I'm up. Just like I'm always up when you come in here."

As the smile slid off of her mom's face Spencer's stomach twisted in guilt. Why did she always go to the angry place? "I'm sorry, mom. I'm just a little irritable. I need to go meet my partner for a project."

"Oh, do you need me to drive you?"

"No," she murmured and pulled herself up out of her bed. If she was going to get to Toby's house in time she was going to have to leave soon. He lived on the other end of town. "I can walk."

"Spencer, you don't have to be so independent all the time. Let me help you. We can go get some coffee along the way."

The hope in her mom's eyes was almost tragic. Had she really been such a monster that a quick Starbucks run was enough to inspire this level of joy and optimism? "Fine, but I'll have you know that I'm going to need an awful lot of coffee to get through this day. My partner is a sweet guy, but he's hopeless at biology."

"Well, he's lucky he has you then." The smile on her face suggested that Spencer had made her entire day. She walked over to her and gently moused her hair. "I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes."

She walked over to her closet with trepidation. For the first time in awhile she wanted to look nice. Not like she used to, but not like a boy either. She slid into a pair of skinny jeans and a long, graphic t-shirt. She even brushed on a little bit of eyeliner. "Well, that's as good as it's going to get," she sighed in annoyance and walked down the stairs.

"Ready to go?"

Before the accident Mrs. Hastings had seldom sounded so chipper in the mornings. The efforts that she was putting forth warmed her cold heart. "Yeah. Thanks mom."

She wasn't expecting to enjoy the morning that she spent with her mother, but she really did. It was relaxing, and she almost felt like her old self for a few short hours. As they pulled up in front of Toby's house her stomach constricted in worry. Did she really want to do this? Not that she had a choice. Try as she might, she couldn't let go of her desire for good grades. "Thank you the coffee, mom."

"I love you sweetie. Call me if you need a ride afterward, okay?"

Spencer smiled tightly and walked out the door and up the driveway. She knocked quietly and stepped back as she heard soft footsteps heading her way. The door swung open to reveal a plump, blonde woman. "Hi! You must be Spencer. I'm Toby's mom."

Her eyes immediately diverted to the ground. This woman was too friendly to handle. "I um- yes."

Mrs. Cavanaugh wasn't deterred by her awkward response. She stepped aside and gestured for Spencer to come inside. "Toby's in the dining room, and I just finished baking some cookies. Working on homework is never fun, but at least you guys can have something sweet while you study."

This woman's energy was kind of exhausting, but in the best way possible. It had been a long time since people had treated her normally. Even at Rosewood High, she knew Emily wouldn't have told her friends the whole story, but she had clearly told them enough to make them pity her. They were wonderful, but they also treated her as though she was a cracked china doll; prone to break down at any time. And honestly, it was a fairly accurate assumption. The past few months had taught her nothing if it hadn't taught her that things fell apart as soon as they were getting good.

"Spencer!"

She lifted her eyes from the dull brown carpet and was met by the expansive, familiar blue of her partner's. There was something different about Toby. She went from feeling shy and uneasy to feeling immediately warm and safe. "Toby," she said with a soft smile.

She dropped her bag next to her the empty bar stool and perched on the edge. "How are you?"

"Freaking out," he replied promptly. He didn't look up at her, instead he fanned through his biology book so fast that there was no way that he was actually reading. "I really need to get an A in this class, and I'm just remembering how bad I am at science."

"I don't want to brag or anything, but I'm pretty good at this stuff. You don't have to worry." She pulled out her notebook and flipped to the notes that she had prepared. "I was thinking that maybe we could pick a bat. The skeleton looks cool, the bones small enough that it won't take a lot of materials, and it isn't so intricate that we'll be overwhelmed."

He pulled the notebook to himself and ran his fingers over her careful drawings of the bat's skeletal system. "Damn, Spencer. You didn't have to do all of this on your own. I would have helped."

"No, it's fine." She awkwardly looked out the window. "I'm kind of a nerd, and I get really excited about stuff like that. I'm actually a really terrible partner, because I get really excited. My friend Aria-" She winced, but to her gratitude Toby pretended not to notice. "She used to refuse to work with me because I'd end up doing all of the work."

"Sounds like best partner ever material to me. So-"

His words were cut off by a loud clatter from the kitchen. "Sorry!"

Toby groaned and gave her an apologetic frown. "I hope you're hungry. The first time I have a friend over my mom decides that they must have never eaten before in their lives and brings out the entire contents of our kitchen."

"I heard that, Toby Cavanaugh! Stop your sass because I know you enjoy my baking." Mrs. Cavanaugh reappeared in the dining room with a huge platter of assorted baked goods and a pitcher of lemonade.

Spencer was able to pushed down her shock, but she couldn't help but smile softly as one of her favorite memories flashed through her mind.

_"Mom! Stop bringing us food or you'll make us fat!" Aria grabbed her non-existent belly fat and poked it with her index finger._

_"Aria Montgomery, you are thirteen years old. You should be playing with dolls, not worrying about your sugar intake." Mrs. Montgomery slid a bowl of icing in front of them and grabbed a cookie and a butter knife. "But if you want to be whiny then Spencer and I will decorate all of these delicious cookies ourselves. But if you don't help you don't get to eat any."_

_"Come to think of it, Aria," Spencer laughed and grabbed a cookie, "maybe you shouldn't help. More cookies for me!"_

_Aria grabbed a spoon and lobbed a glob of blue icing at her best friend's nose. "You were saying?"_

Spencer knew that her mom loved her. It was even more apparent in the months that followed the accident. But Mrs. Montgomery had always been the picture perfect mother in her eyes. And when she lost Aria she also lost one of the strongest mother figures that she had ever known. It still hurt sometimes, but it was more of a dull ache than a stab wound.

Mrs. Cavanaugh reminded her a lot of Mrs. Montgomery, in the best way possible. "If he doesn't appreciate your baked goods, I certainly do. My mom can barely make toast." Spencer laughed and reached for the smallest cookie that she saw. Her sweet tooth was still wildly present, but her appetite was remarkably small. She didn't want to offend this kind woman by not being able to finish the food.

"Travesty! You come over here whenever you want, Spencer. I will put a little meat on your bones. All the cookies that you want. It will be a welcome change from that rowdy Caleb." She got a wistful look on her face that clearly indicated that she was very fond of Caleb. Not that she blamed her. There was something endearing about him.

"Alright mom, go away, okay? We need to get this done." His words may have sounded disrespectful, but they were filled with nothing but love. There was a story behind the two of them, Spencer was sure of it. But she was in no place to pry, considering she kept her biggest secret locked up tight.

Mrs. Cavanaugh mussed up Toby's hair as she walked by. Soon after the muted sounds of the television could be heard from the living room. Toby turned to her with an easy smile. "I don't really want to work on this right now. Tell me more about yourself."

"Oh, um- I'm a remarkably uninteresting person." She didn't really care if they worked or not. She had gotten a lot done yesterday. But she really wasn't very interesting, and she had a feeling that he was. This line of questioning could get embarrassing.

"I'm sure that's not true. Okay, let's play twenty questions."

With about the entire rest of the population of the world she would have refused, but there was something about Toby that she couldn't help but trust. He was a good guy, that much was clearly evident. "Alright. What's your favorite color?" If she was going to play she was going to start.

"Orange. Like the sunset. What about you?"

That was a strangely poetic answer for a boy. She was expecting something typical like blue, but she was quickly learning that there was nothing typical about Toby. "I like a light purple. Maybe lilac."

"That's cute. Our favorite colors would make a nice flower bouquet."

She couldn't suppress a snort at his words. Who was this boy? Most guys would think of sports team jersey's or car colors before flowers. But she kind of liked it. "What's your favorite movie?"

"Oh that's impossible. Can I pick a top three instead?" He waited for her nod before continuing. He took his twenty questions seriously. "Okay, I would say V for Vendetta, the first Pirates of the Caribbean, and don't laugh but the Notebook."

"The Notebook?" She bit her tongue to stop a nervous giggle. He was surprising her more with every answer.

"Yeah! It's just- I can't think of a more manly word, so beautiful. It's beautiful. Two people who so obviously belong together, but they have to fight to make it work? I don't know, I just love the idea that there's someone like that out there for me."

Oh my God. He's going to make her insides twist up into knots if he keeps talking like that. Did he miss the normal boy gene and just decide to be the most adorable male on the face of the planet? "That's- really sweet."

"You're making fun of me," he laughed and waved a dismissive hand.

"No," she shook her head in disagreement. "No, I'm not. That's literally the most adorable thing I've ever heard. My favorite movies are much nerdier, and less adorable, so you ask me a different question."

"Alright," he scrunched up his nose as he thought of a better question. "What is the most awesome thing that you've ever done?"

"If I didn't have an actual answer for that I'd have to give you the most difficult question ever award," she laughed. "When I was fifteen I went to South America to volunteer. I spent two months in Peru traveling from orphanage to mountain community to the slums doing service projects and bonding with the people. It was, for the lack of a better word, incredible."

"Spencer, that's-" he paused to think of the right word. "That's incredible. Not very many people would do that."

This is why she didn't tell a lot of people about that. She didn't want people to think she was some kind of saint. "My family is very well off. It just felt like the right thing to do with my time and money. It wasn't a big deal."

"Don't downplay it. It really was." She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off with a small shake of his head. "Don't argue with me. You may be a genius, but I'm not one to lose a verbal battle. Now eat another cookie, because if you don't my mom will probably feed this to me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next month."

"Fine." Before she could think of her next question she heard the front door slam and loud footsteps echo in from the hall.

"Spencer Hastings, don't hide! We know you're here!"

Spencer turned to Toby in alarm before relaxing slightly as she recognized Hanna's voice. That didn't really explain how the crazy blonde had known to look for her at Toby's house, but at least it wasn't an axe murderer.

"We're in here, Hanna." Toby spoke up for her, his voice half confused and half amused.

"There you are! Oh, food!" Hanna skipped into the room and grabbed a cookie, leaning against the counter.

Emily followed behind her, slightly more subdued. "Sorry about her, but you can't really reign in the beast."

"What are you guys doing here?" Toby reached for another cookie as his questioned the new arrivals.

Spencer glanced out the window, noting that the storm that they were threatened with earlier was finally rolling in. She really hated storms, but what she hated more than storms was being alone during them. This was the best arrangement.

"We're here to kidnap Spencer," Hanna mumbled between a mouthful of cookie.

"We're here to take Spencer to Hanna's house for a sleepover," Emily clarified, in a slightly less worrying manner. Her head immediately swiveled in Spencer's direction. "And before you can protest, we already cleared it with your mom and packed you a bag."

"It'll be great, Spencer! Don't say no! I see Emily all the time! I want to get to know you!" Hanna's voice was enthusiastic, and it almost made her want to say yes. But she didn't want to embarrass herself by waking up with a nightmare.

"Um- I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why the hell not?" Hanna demanded. She waved the cookie in her right hand in Spencer's direction, spraying crumbs all over the counter. "Please, Spencer! I really want to get to know you!"

She sighs and closed her eyes.

_"Spencer, put down your book and come stay the night with me and Paige!"_

_Spencer sighed and carefully placed her bookmark between the pages. "I don't know, Aria. I really just want to relax."_

_"Girl, I will beat you with the rock hard pillows you call comfortable if you repeat yourself. I know my best friend is not choosing her nerd status over bestie time."_

_She rolled her eyes and pulled herself up off of the couch. "Fine, if we watch that foreign movie my mom bought me last week."_

_"Twist my arm," Aria laughed and held out her arm. "I'll even paint your nails green, and won't fight you over an more appropriate pink."_

_"Oh how big of you," Spencer laughed and linked her arm through Aria's. She was so lucky to have her tiny best friend to stop her from being a nerdy shut in._

"Spencer?"

Spencer lifted her eyes and exchanged a reluctant glance with Emily before turning back to Hanna. She completely ignored Toby, or else she was never going to be able to admit this. "Sometimes- I um- sometimes I get nightmares, and I- um I wake up and am really l-loud. I don't want to-"

"Oh is that what you're worried about?" Hanna laughed and waved a dismissive hand in Spencer's direction. "Don't even think twice about that. Emily tosses and turns like someone dipped her body in hot sauce or something. We won't be getting sleep anyways. And one time last year we had a sleepover, and well- I sleepwalk sometimes. And I ended up peeing in Maya's bedroom corner because I thought it was a bathroom. Trust me, you'll look so normal compared to the rest of us."

"I-" She really wanted to go, but she just wasn't sure that it was a good idea.

"Please, Spence?"

"Oh, alright."

The excited squeals from the girls were second to the smile on Toby's face. He barely knew her, but she was sure that she saw a hint of pride in there. She barely knew him either, but the fact that she made him smile meant more than it probably should. This was going to be interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so yeah. I don't really know what else to say? Chapter 5, here you go! I FINALLY FINISHED MY THESIS. Let me celebrate that for a moment. So in happiness I busted out this chapter for you guys. Repay me with a review? This story has been consistently less than stellarly reviewed. The reviews I've gotten have been amazing, but THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU OUT THERE READING THIS! I can see the numbers, lol! Tell me what you think, okay? It's the only way I know whether this is even worth continuing. And there are a lot of crazy things coming up! Gotta build Spencer up a little bit before tearing her back down. And there are some secrets about the others that will come out sooner or later. ANYWAYS, yeah! Okay so review and let me know what you think! 5 reviews or Monday! Whatever comes first! **

Chapter 5

SPOV

"Spencer! What's your favorite kind of pizza?"

She scratched the back of her neck and looked at Hanna's wallpaper. Before she saw her room she would have assumed that it was all pink and frilly. That was just the personality that Hanna exuded. But her color scheme and feather printed wallpaper fit her personality in a less obvious way. There was a subtle sophistication about Hanna beneath the girly, frilly exterior.

"I'll eat whatever you guys want," she murmured, brushing her fingers over the feathers. Somehow they looked like they had texture, and she just had to know. When they were flush with the rest of the wall she felt like a bit of an idiot, but whatever. She had to know.

"Spencer, have an opinion! What kind of pizza." Emily laughed and tossed a skittle up in the air and caught it with her open mouth. She turned to Hanna thoughtfully. "I know what kind she _doesn't _like." She let out a loud, obviously fake cough that sounded a lot like sausage. "I say if she doesn't tell us what kind to get we go for that!"

"Oh, Em you're so devious. I love the way your mind works." Hanna winked and turned back to Spencer. "What'll it be, oh agreeable one!? Are we ordering sausage or...?"

She would rather chew off her own arm than consume any tiny morsel of sausage. It was the most disgusting thing. Who wanted to eat something that resembled tiny, little brains. She had never eaten brain, but it probably tasted something like nasty, disgusting sausage pizza. "Mushroom?"

"I can do fungus, what about you, Em?"

"Mushroom it is. Okay, now for the television. What movie are we going to watch?"

Spencer laughed and stared out the window, watching the storm finally roll in. She had always thought that her an Aria were the anomaly, but maybe this was how all sleepovers went.

_"This is my bedroom, so I get to pick what we watch!"_

_"No! Spencer, dang it. I don't want to watch people kill each other and have sex with their brother or whatever." Aria whined and flopped backward, covering her face with one of Spencer's pillows._

_"But Game of Thrones is so good. You'll watch Project Runway, but you won't watch the BEST SHOW EVER?" _

_Aria groaned and sat up. "If we watch your stupid show can I at least hold the ice cream container?"_

_"I'll even crack open the butter pecan. And I think there's even some caramel in the fridge."_

If it meant that Aria could still be here she would watch whatever the pixie wanted to watch, even if it meant rotting her brain with trash tv. For all of her amazing qualities the girl had some terrible taste in television.

"I have a better idea."

The mischievous grin on Hanna's face kind of scared the hell at of Spencer. What is this girl thinking? "I'm not sure I'm up for anything illegal," she chuckled nervously.

Hanna gave her an unimpressed look before an eager smile returned to her face. "I know for a fact that Toby and Caleb are hanging out tonight. Let's prank them!"

"Oh God, Han," Emily groaned, covering her face up with a pillow. "Are we starting the prank thing again?"

"Prank thing?" This sounded like the kind of story that she needed to hear.

Emily sat up and tossed the pillow behind her. "Hanna is a massive prankster. Last year she almost got be arrested when we went to TP Noel Kahn's house!"

"Oh, that asshole deserved it! Don't complain to me about what you agreed with," she laughed and grabbed a cookie off of the platter.

"Okay, yeah he deserved it, but _arrested _Han." She sighed and pulled herself up. "Let's just go do it. Toby and Caleb won't call the cops on us."

"Right! Spencer, tell me you got the awesome genes in your family. I need someone to be less lame than Emily!" Hanna gave her a pleading smile. There was an underlying glint of amusement, but she was also serious.

"Let's do it," she chuckled. "Do you have an umbrella or something, because it looks like it's going to storm like crazy."

"Yes! Spencer Hastings I think you might just be my new best friend!" She linked her arm with Spencer's and dragged her down the stairs. This was going to either be the most exciting thing that she had done in a very long time or it was going to be a mess.

* * *

Spencer peeked around a bush to take in the sight of the two boys slouched down on the couch. "What are they doing, playing video games?"

"Oh yeah. Toby likes to act like he's too sophisticated for this stuff, but he's as in to these games as any other stupid boy. And Caleb just embraces his dumb boy side like no one I've ever met." Hanna laughed and grabbed Spencer's arm, dragging her down away from the window. "Okay, here's what we're going to do."

"Hanna, do not get me in to trouble," Emily warned. "My mom will ground me for life, even if it is just us pranking our friends."

She was totally right. Spencer loved her Aunt Pam, but she was bat shit crazy. She was the most strict person that she had ever met, causing Emily to have a slightly paranoid personality.

_"Em, are you going to come with us?"_

_Emily looked around nervously. "I don't know. If Uncle Peter comes back maybe I should stay. I can tell him you just had to run to Aria's house for a minute."_

_"Emily, I don't know you that well, but I do know that this will be more fun with you there. I need support," Aria laughed and nudged Spencer in the ribs. "This one will just talk about the scientific background of why it's either possible or impossible."_

_"Aria!" Spencer laughed and dodged her flying elbow. "I don't want to try cow tipping because of science. I want to try it because it always looks fun on movies. But she's right, Em. Please come? We need your swim star muscles. I'm a wimpy bookworm, and Aria isn't used to lifting anything heavier than a paintbrush!"_

_"Excuse you!" Aria laughed and whacked Spencer on the arm. "But Emily, she's actually right. Come with us, please!"_

_"Fine, but if we get caught I'm telling them that you kidnapped and drugged me."_

_"I can accept that," Spencer nodded in acceptance and wrapped an arm around her cousin's shoulders._

"Spencer, are you listening?"

She shook her head to clear her mind of her reminiscent thoughts. "Yeah, sorry."

"Alright, Spence so here's what I need you to do." She laughed and gestured with her head to the door. "You and Emily go in and visit with them. If I come they'll automatically get suspicious, but with just the two of you they shouldn't suspect anything. I'll sneak in behind you and when I turn the lights off you scream like someone's murdering you and then hide. Don't let them find you. Then Em, I'll do it again and you do the same thing. We'll get them good and afraid, and then when they get far enough away we'll sneak out and go back to my house. They'll come looking eventually and we'll act like they're crazy."

"Oh God," Emily laughed. "Do you think that will actually work?"

"As long as you crazy bitches can keep a straight face," Hanna said seriously, but a twinkle of amusement reigned in her eyes. "Just make sure you get them away from the door so that I can sneak in. The fuse box is in their closet, right?"

"Yep!" Emily murmured and slowly dragged her to the door and knocked.

A concerning thump, crash, and bump sounded through the thick wooden door before it was wrenched open and they were faced with Caleb's tired eyes. "Oh who ordered us some women?" He laughed and moved aside so they could come in. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Well, we were in the neighborhood and decided that we wanted to come visit you guys. Sometimes you're kind of alright," Emily laughed and perched on the edge of the couch. Spencer bit her lip to stop herself from smiling and sat next to Emily.

"Spencer? Emily? What are you guys doing here?" Toby paused the game and stuffed the controller in the small space between his side and the edge of the couch.

Spencer couldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face. He was kind of adorable. Hanna was right. He was trying really hard to avoid being seen like the typical guy. "We were in the neighborhood, and we thought that we'd see what you guys were up too."

"Well, I'm feeling a lot less stressed now that I realized how awesome you are at science. Thank God we got partnered up, or else I might have failed." Toby gave her a friendly smile.

He was so complimentary, which was nice. She was so used to people taking her intelligence for granted, so it was gratifying for someone else to realize how hard she worked. "You're a good partner. Do you still need help with French? I could-"

Her words cut off as the lights went out and her world went black. Oh God, how was she supposed to do this without laughing?

"What the hell? This is like a scene straight out of a horror movie. Who's going to die first?" Caleb was trying to sound like he was joking, but there was an underlying feeling of tension to his tone. Was someone afraid of the dark?

Either way, this was her opportunity. She sucked in a deep breath and screamed as loud as she could, making sure to bump into both Toby and Caleb as she ducked into the hallway and felt her way to the closet.

"Spencer?" The concern in Toby's voice was actually really adorable, and she couldn't help but feel a little badly as she ducked down next to Hanna.

The blonde gave her a quick first bump as she turned the lights back on and leaned down so she could whisper into Spencer's ear. "They're going to probably try to come in here next. As soon as Caleb gets up we'll cut the lights again, and we'll meet Emily in the hallway."

Spencer didn't think that she could talk without laughing so she simply nodded.

"Woah, where'd Spencer go? What's your cousin's last name, Emily? Houdini?" Three guesses as to who said that. Spencer had only known Caleb for a few days now, but she was beginning to see that humor was his way of dealing with stressful situations.

"That's not funny! Spencer wouldn't just leave like that. My Aunt Veronica is going to flip out. I was supposed to look after her." The hysterical tone that Emily was taking on was making this all the better. Who knew that she was such a good actress.

"Okay, let me go check the fuse box really fast, and then we'll go look for her, okay? Maybe she just got scared and went outside." The springs in the chair squeaked as Caleb pulled himself upward.

"Now!" Hanna murmured into her ear and flipped the switch again. As the lights went black Spencer felt for the door knob and slid out into the hallway. This was the most fun that she had had in a very long time. She felt like a cross between an actress in a horror movie and a secret agent.

Emily's blood curdling scream sounded just as she was reaching the front door. She heard a light groan as the other two girls clearly ran into each other. Spencer silently ducked out the front door and held it open for Hanna, who was directly behind her.

The three of them raced down the street, barely slowing as the reached Emily's car. Spencer dived into the backseat and held her stomach to ease the laughter cramps. Oh my God, she couldn't believe that they had actually managed to pull that off. "Hanna, I think you're an evil genius."

"Thank you. Thank you very much," she giggled and buckled her seat belt as Emily pulled onto the street, doing a U-turn to ensure that they didn't have to drive by Caleb's house. "Do you think they fell for it?"

"Well, I'm fairly sure that they know we're not dead or whatever. But I'm equally sure that they'll come looking for us." Emily chuckled and flipped on the turn signal. "They both actually looked really concerned when they saw that Spencer was missing."

"That's because they think she's all sweet and innocent!" Hanna turned around and flashed Spencer a wide grin. "I'm really loving this devious side."

"Oh, you just wait until you get to know her. Remember that time you convinced me to go cow tipping, Spence?"

Her heart ached a bit as Emily mentioned one of her favorite memories, but she also couldn't help but laugh. Is this what healing felt like? "Yes! It took me and A-Aria," hopefully Hanna didn't notice the way she stumbled over her best friend's name, "forever to convince you to come. But in the end you did."

"Yeah, but then I got chased by a flipping cow! Talk about regrets!"

"Oh, you know that you enjoyed it," Spencer said with certainty. If Emily hadn't enjoyed herself it wouldn't be something that she brought up again. Em was one to compartmentalize. If it was a bad memory she tucked it away, never to think of it again.

"Maybe," she laughed in a way that made it sound like a definite yes.

"Aw, you two and your little cousin love fest. Can we go cow tipping sometime?"

Spencer couldn't tell if she was being serious or not, but either way, she was down. "Let's do it," she laughed.

"Spencer, I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship."

She liked how that felt. Having someone think of her in a positive manner. One of the reasons that her parents had pulled her out of private school was because of all the vicious rumors that had floated around. The accident was just that; an accident. But so many people believed that she was drunk, stoned, or just being irresponsible and stupid. But she never would have gotten behind the wheel of a car like that. Especially when her best friend's life was also in her hands. Aria had been so popular, and it was just- it was horrible. As if she hadn't already blamed herself enough.

This felt like a new start. "You know, Hanna, I think you may be right."

Emily pulled up in front of Hanna's house, and slammed on the brakes as too shadowy figures stepped in front of the car. "Shit! How did they beat us here?"

"They're smarter than I gave them credit for," Hanna laughed and opened her door. "Be cool, guys." She stepped out onto the sidewalk and plastered an innocent smile across her face. "Caleb! Toby! What are you guys doing here?"

"Well, we were playing some video games, and something interesting happened," Caleb said seriously, his face only hinting at his amusement.

"Oh, did you kill a bad guy, honey? Good job!"

Spencer had suspected that Hanna and Caleb were dating, but she didn't know for sure until that moment. They fought like an old married couple, but they had virtually zero disgusting public displays of affection. She kind of liked that. Kissing didn't make an entire relationship. She wanted to be friends first.

"Actually, I was winning by quite a bit," Toby mumbled, obviously disgruntled.

"Since when do you play video games, T? Are you trying to shatter the gentlemenly allusion?" Emily cocked an eyebrow in faux-surprise.

Toby's cheeks tinged with red as he looked down. "Um-"

God, she literally had never thought that someone was adorable so many times before. But there was literally no other word to describe him. What other guy in the entire would blushed at admitting that he played video games. And it was because he didn't want to be the typical cocky guy? Oh good Lord, if she kept thinking like this she was going to have to start fanning herself.

"None the matter," Caleb interrupted. "Well we were interrupted by two girls, who looked an awful lot like you two." He gave Spencer and Emily a pointed glare, "But you know, we can't be sure. Our moms did warn us that too many video games would rot our brains."

"Yeah, that's what I heard too," Hanna nodded seriously. "TV and video games make you stupid."

"Shit, that's why I'm failing history," Caleb quipped. "But anyways, some flickering lights and terrifying, ear shattering girly screams later and these feminine apparitions were gone."

"Gone? Is your house haunted?" Hanna wrinkled her nose in confusion. "It couldn't have been these two. We were at the mall all evening."

"Oh, really? What did you buy?"

Hanna opened her mouth to reply, but Caleb immediately cut her off. "Not you. Spencer. Spencer, what did you buy? Hanna you will just list off your mental wish list, Emily will start naming things off in her closet, but Spencer wouldn't lie to me! Right?"

Oh God, she was giving off that innocent vibe a little too much. She was going to have to slowly start revealing her more devious side. This goody-goody rep was bad for her mental image. "I didn't buy anything. My feet hurt, and I left my credit cards at home. But Em bought a new bathing suit from Kohl's. It's really cute. It took us awhile to find one that met her swim team's requirements that didn't look like a garbage bag, but I think we succeeded. And Hanna bought out the mall, I think. Some jewelry from Macy's, a scarf from Kohl's, some Prada sunglasses, a bunch of make-up. I think she mentioned about how she wished you were there to carry her bags."

"Oh God, if I didn't know she was lying I would have believed that. Cavanaugh, we're in trouble. These women are master manipulators. I think we need some new friends."

Toby's eyes met hers for a moment before smiling softly. "I don't know, I think we're doing pretty alright."

"Okay!" Hanna laughed, after giving Spencer an impressed grin. "Okay, duh it was us. But let's be honest, I owed you guys. We hadn't pranked you in forever."

"I thought this phase was over, Han," Caleb groaned in annoyance. But he didn't really sound annoyed. The more Spencer watched the two of them together the cuter they got. Real life ship right there. She was definitely on Team Hanna and Caleb. Team Haleb?

"It'll never be over," she said seriously, wrapping her arms around him in a quick hug. "You have to accept that a life with me is a life of pranktitude fabulousness."

"Oh, twist my arm, Hanna Marin. I guess it's worth it."

Hanna giggled and whispered something inaudible to him. Spencer turned away lest they have to rush her to the hospital for adorableness overload. "How'd you get here so fast?" She asked Toby quietly.

He chuckled, "Oh you guys weren't as stealthy as you thought that you were. We cut through some yards and stuff. I wanted to scare you, but Caleb wanted to be cutesy with Hanna. It wasn't worth the fight."

"I don't scare easily," she laughed and glanced at Emily. "But this one does."

"Shut up, Spencer," Emily groaned with no annoyance behind it. "Keep it in the secret family circle."

After everything that happened she never thought that she would enjoy her life again. She thought that she would spend the rest of her existence being alone and sad. But maybe not. Maybe she didn't have to do that. Maybe she could move on from this. For the first time it was something that she wanted. Somehow being with these people made her feel alive again in ways that she didn't even remember were possible. Maybe she could be happy again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter for you wonderful people! The reviews for chapter five were the best, and you guys are just the best! Everything's the best! **

**The next chapter will be up soon-ish because I have nothing to do tomorrow, and I love it. So I'll probably lay in bed and write and watch Netflix. The next chapter is also one where you learn quite a bit more about Spencer's story, so if you're curious about that REVIEW! It will motivate me to update even faster!**

**PLEASE let me know what you think! And if you're still bored check out my other story, Unchained Melody.**

Chapter 6

TPOV

"Toby Cavanaugh get your lazy butt off of your bed and come help your mother do the dishes."

He rolled his eyes, but pulled himself up off of his bed with a soft grunt. He would have liked to have stayed in bed and continued to day dream, but he knew that it wasn't fair of him to expect his mom to do all of the work around the house. "I've got it mom. Don't worry about it." He took the dish rag out of her hands and hip checked her away from the sink.

"You're the best," she laughed and grabbed the broom. "You're actually incredibly unannoying for a son. I'll have to write the doctors and let them know that they were right to talk me out of trading you in for a daughter."

"I guess you'll do as far as moms go," he laughed and scrubbed a dirty dish. His mom was actually the best.

"Do you have any plans for today?"

The scratch of the broom against the linoleum punctuated her invasive question. "Spencer's coming over again soon. She's some kind of genius and offered to help me with French after we're done with our biology project."

"What's the story with that one? Do you like her?"

What was this? Third grade recess? "I- maybe. But she's dealing with something really big, and I just don't know what's going on."

"Well, I certainly like her better than that Alison. She was a nasty piece of work. And she never ate my cookies." She paused as she swept the dust into the dust pan. "You can tell a lot about someone based upon whether or not they'll eat some cookies."

"Yeah, Alison was- she was something." He really had no idea what he was thinking when he agreed to date Alison DiLaurentis. She was beautiful, that much was undeniable. But she was also a terrible person. She was rude to his mother, she was nasty to his friends, and she cared more about appearances than anything else. It just wasn't a good fit.

_Knock, knock_

He glanced down at his watch in slight confusion. "It's too early for Spencer to be here, and she strikes me as very punctual."

"Oh don't you move a muscle! You aren't getting out of dishes quite that easily." She dropped the dust in the trashcan and exited the kitchen in a fluid motion. He loved his mom a lot. After everything that they had gone through in the past few years they were significantly more close than a lot of mothers and sons. He glanced at the picture of his father on the fridge before looking away quickly. No need to get sad today.

"Toby, someone's here to see you." The tension in his mother's voice suggested that it was someone that she didn't like.

A flash of blonde hair caused his stomach to twist in annoyance. "What are you doing here, Alison?" Talk about speaking of the devil. She was absolutely the last person that he had any desire to see, and he sincerely hoped that she was gone before Spencer got here. He wasn't entirely positive about Spencer's state of mind. Half the time she came across as witty and fun-loving, and then the other half of the time she seemed broken beyond repair. And somehow he knew that Alison wouldn't react well to a girl arriving at his house.

"Toby! I missed you, so I thought that I'd come visit you." A girly giggle punctuated her high pitched, breathy voice. Her manicured hands carefully swept through her hair.

He sighed and sat down at the table, wanting to avoid any unnecessary contact. She was a toucher, and he didn't want to give her the wrong idea. "Alison, I'm sorry if I haven't made myself clear, but we are so far past done. Not only do I not want to date you, I also don't want to spend any time with you at all."

"Toby-"

"No Alison. You cheated on me, and that's not something that I can overlook. I need you to leave, because I have plans." A vision of the moment he caught Alison and Noel Kahn together flashed through his mind. At first it had stung, but the more he thought about it the more he realized that she had done him a favor.

"Fine, I'll go, but don't come crawling back to me when you realize what you threw away." She flashed him her signature, condescending smirk and turned away. He immediately got up to follow after her to ensure that she didn't decide to key his car.

He stood behind her as she pulled open the door, and couldn't suppress a groan as Spencer was on the other side, her fist poised to knock. "Oh, um hi?"

"Is this why you're trying to get rid of me? For this whore?" Alison turned back to him with an arched eyebrow.

Annoyance bubbled up in his stomach at that ridiculous accusation. Spencer was the exact opposite of a whore. Before he could tell Alison off Spencer beat him to it. "Oh I'm so glad that you can surmise that I'm a whore after meeting me just for just thirty seconds. Why don't you get your over processed, skanky clothed, fake body out of here before I react in the way that I really want too."

Just when he thought he couldn't like Spencer any more she proved him wrong. Not for the first time he wished he had known Spencer before whatever happened to her had happened. "I second that motion. Get out of here, Alison."

"Whatever," she snapped and pushed past Spencer who stumbled slightly but managed to catch herself on the porch's guardrail.

Her eyes followed Alison until she was out of earshot and turned to Toby with a smirk. "And who was that delightful person?"

He laughed and moved aside so that Spencer could come in. "Spencer, you're seriously the best. That was my ex-girlfriend, Alison."

"Wait, you dated that crazy bitch?" She turned back to him, the shock apparent on her face.

He sighed and nodded. "We all get a mistake, right?"

"Yeah, I dated my sister's ex-boyfriend once. His name was Wren, and it was the worst decision ever. I feel your pain," she laughed and took the same seat she sat at yesterday.

"Is the devil gone?" His mom breezed back into the kitchen and headed straight toward the fridge. "Oh, hello Spencer dear."

"Hey Mrs. Cavanaugh," Spencer murmured, her voice back to it's typical quiet tone.

Toby gave her a concerned glance before turning back to his mom. "You know, you've never been very good at pretending to like her."

"I'm too old for that. What you see is what you get with me." She pulled out some lunch meat and cheese. "Do either of you kids want a sandwich?"

"A better question would be when do I not want a sandwich," he replied without hesitation.

She laughed with a quick nod. "Spencer?"

"If it's not too much trouble," she said softly, pulling her books out onto the table.

"I wouldn't have offered if it was any trouble, silly. Is turkey and swiss alright?"

"That's actually my favorite," Spencer laughed quietly.

She sighed dramatically and began assembling the sandwiches. "I'm kind of a sandwich whisperer."

And that was Toby's limit of mom weirdness. "Alright, so biology," he segued carefully. "I took the drawings that you emailed me and started building the model."

"You did?" She was shocked, which was adorable. "You didn't have too. I could have helped."

"Spencer, you drew the entire skeletal system and found us an animal that wasn't going to take our entire lives. Besides, I really enjoy working with my hands." He stood up and went to grab the model from the computer room. He brought it back into the dining room and sat it carefully onto the table. "Does it look okay?"

"Holy shit, Cavanaugh." She stood up and gently ran her fingers down the spine of the bat. "You're the best," she repeated his earlier words with a soft smile.

"So it's alright?" For some reasons he was irrationally nervous. He really wanted to impress this girl.

"It's beautiful," she replied as she continued to examine it. "I don't ever want to hear that you're bad at science again, because this is seriously amazing."

He blushed slightly, brushing his hair back. He wasn't really used to anyone but his mom paying him complements like that, and as much as he loved it it was also a bit embarrassing. The more time that he spent with Spencer the more convinced he was that he liked her. She was so different than Alison, but in the best way possible. She had obviously been through something hard, but it didn't ruin her. It made her strong. "Thanks."

"I like this one, Toby. You keep her around." He blushed deeper at his mom's words as she sat a sandwich in front of each of them. She grinned at his red cheeks, grabbed her own sandwich, and walked out the door. "Don't bother me, Jeopardy's on!"

Spencer laughed and nudged the plate that her sandwich was on. "Your mom is awesome."

"She really is," he gestured to the model. "So I'll paint it tomorrow, but other than that I think we're done, right?"

"I believe so. I'll throw together a quick presentation and we'll be golden." She pulled her notebook too her and wrote something that he couldn't read, presumably some notes on what to say during their presentation.

"Do you want to head over to Hanna's house early, then? I'm sure Caleb will be there, and Em is usually early too." He really had no desire to work on his French, so that just seemed like the next logical step.

"Sure, but I walked here..." She trailed off as though she were embarrassed, but he didn't understand why. It was a nice day, and her family was fairly well off. It wasn't as though they couldn't afford to buy her a car.

"That's fine, I can give you a ride." He paused at the living room on their way out of the house. "Hey, mom. We're going to Hanna's. I'll be back by midnight, alright?"

"Get outta here," she laughed and waved him away with a dismissive hand. His mom was literally the best.

He turned around and followed Spencer outside and to his car. "So why didn't you drive?"

"I- um I don't drive anymore."

There was definitely more to that story, but he wasn't going to question her further. She was finally talking and opening up to him, and he wasn't going to ruin that for anything in the entire world. "Alright, well I like driving, so it's all good."

They both got in to his tan truck and he drove off toward Hanna's house. "I know you've been moderately initiated into the inner circle, but you should know that these things tend to get a little crazy."

"Crazy how?" Her voice wasn't even a little wary. It was mostly just saturated with a degree of curiosity. Her mood swings were like whiplash, and he honestly found it kind of endearing. He had found nothing that he didn't like about her so far.

"Well, last time we almost had to call 911 because Maya dared Hanna to stuff 20 marshmallows into her mouth. And the time before that Caleb left with a giant bruise on his forehead, but he wouldn't tell anyone how he got it."

She laughed as they pulled up in from of Hanna's house. "You guys sound like the best. I know I give off a lame vibe, and I'm working on it. But seriously, you're exactly the kind of people I'd want to spend time with."

"I don't think you give off a lame vibe," he said, making sure his tone gave off how serious he was. "I think that maybe you give off a sad vibe, but you definitely don't seem lame. Especially after the prank you girls pulled the other night."

Toby casually linked his arm with Spencer's, testing the waters to see if more physical contact was something she welcomed. When she didn't immediately flinch away he took it as a good sign and led her toward the door. She smiled and tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear. "Thanks."

"Spencer!" Hanna threw open the door before Toby had a chance to open it and grabbed Spencer's arm. He immediately missed her presence, feeling a little bit put out that Hanna stole her from him. But mostly he was just thrilled that she was making friends. She clearly needed more supportive people in her life. "I was wondering when you two'd get here!" Hanna tossed him an accusing glare as if it were all his fault.

"Alison showed up at my house, so we were a little delayed. But I'm actually still pretty sure that we're early, Hanna." She was such an idiot, and he kind of loved her for it.

"If you're not a half hour early you're late!" She pulled Spencer into the living room and onto the couch.

Maya perked up from where she was lounging on the floor with Emily. He actually wasn't sure whether those two were dating or not, but they looked awfully comfortable. "Spencer Hastings, I heard that you're apparently a sassy, bad ass prankster, and I'm so upset that I missed it."

"Um, I do what I can," she laughed and curled her legs out from underneath her.

"Okay, so we were thinking about playing truth or dare. You guys in?" Caleb spoke up from the other end of the couch.

Toby sat on the arm chair across from the couch and reluctantly shrugged. "Ideally I'd like to get through this night without getting naked or arrested. But overall I think I'm alright with that."

"Um- why not?" Spencer agreed.

"Okay, well I'm going first! Spencer, truth or dare?" Hanna laughed and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Oh Lord," she mumbled. "Let's go with truth to start with."

Hanna smirked and scratched her head inquisitively. "Okay, so why did you transfer schools?"

"Han," Emily murmured from her spot next to Maya. "Ask her a different one."

"Um, no. No, I can answer it." Spencer sighed and closed her eyes as though to find the strength to answer. The distressed look on her face pulled at his heartstrings. She was much too wonderful to be so sad. "My- um my best friend died. And I was there. It's- it was just too much to still be there, so my parents pulled me out and sent me to be with you crazy people."

"Spenc-"

Spencer shook her head and immediately cut Hanna off. "No, no. No. No pity and no more questions. I'm not bringing down the mood with my problems, alright?"

He glanced making brief eye contact with all of his friends, and he knew that if he lost any one of the people in this room that he would never recover. But here Spencer was. She had been through the worst, but she was still standing. She hadn't let her circumstances break her. There was no more denying it. He was into her.

"Okay, let's go get food!" Hanna declared as she rocketed up from the couch in an over-enthusiastic voice. He couldn't blame her for it, because he wanted to do the same. Anything to distract Spencer from the thoughts that were putting that sad look on her face.

"Pizza or the Grille?" He asked as he pulled himself up from the chair.

"I want a sausage pizza!" Caleb declared, pulling himself up after Hanna.

For some inexplicable reason Emily and Hanna started laughing. He couldn't hold back a laugh himself at the disgusted look on Spencer's face. Apparently someone was not a fan of a sausage pizza. "We can get another kind too," he laughed, offering a happy alternative to the girl.

A happy smile stretched across her face as she fell in step next to Toby. Spencer's presence did something to cause a sense of peace to wash over him. There was something different about this girl.


	7. Chapter 7

**A couple this. First, this chapter is for thegardengrows, who left me the sweetest review in the history of reviews. You are wonderful, my dear. Secondly, this chapter got away from me. Like a LOT. Which is why it's taken so long. Toby and Spencer had a lot of thoughts. Third, you get a LOT of Spencer's story in this chapter, but trust me it's not everything. We still have a lot of ground to cover with these crazy kids. Next step, getting them together. Which happens soon, I promise. But I think the Spoby progress in this chapter is more than obvious. **

**I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU GUYS TO THE MOON AND BACK. Those of you who review every chapter, you are the best in the world. You keep be writing. You are WONDERFUL. And those of you who review sporadically, you are equally wonderful. I love it when you pop in. If you're just reading this story you're still pretty wonderful, but like a review would definitely shoot up your wonderful-bility. I LOVE YOU ALL. Review and let me know what you think. **

**Sidenote, this chapter is a bit sad. You've been warned. **

**The next chapter will be up PROBABLY sometime this weekend, but I won't post it before this chapter gets at least five reviews. READ AND REVIEW AND ENJOY THE LONGEST CHAPTER YET OF THIS STORY. Okay, moving on.**

Chapter 7

TPOV

Fat raindrops bounced off of his windshield and slid down the sloping glass. He watched their progress and reflected silently on how much he truly hated getting behind the wheel of a car in weather such as this. It reminded him of the worst times in his life, and it brought up memories that he'd rather not think about.

As he pulled out of the parking lot his eyes were drawn to a lithe, hoodie clad figure walking slowly through the torrential down pour. He squinted, feeling a little creepy for knowing that it was Spencer. But he couldn't help it. Ever since they completed their science project he noticed the small things about her. He noticed the way her eyes lit up with joy when discussing something that he loved. He saw the way that he body tensed up as a harsh memory passed through her mind. He noticed how her nose crinkled up when she found something particularly amusing. He saw the way she walked through the halls hunched up, as though trying to make minimal impact on the world. He just- he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He was intrigued, and not just because of her physical appearance, although there was no denying her beauty. He was interested in her because of who she was.

He slowly pulled up alongside her, being careful not to spray her with water, and reached across the seat to fling open the passenger side door. "Spencer, get in the car before you get pneumonia."

She jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice. "I'm okay."

The small, meek sound of her voice immediately told him that she was lost in her thoughts and memories, but that didn't change anything. He wasn't going to leave her to walk home in the rain. "Spencer," he repeated, his tone a bit more forceful.

She looked like she was going to protest again, but her words were lost in a loud clash of thunder. She looked up at the sky as though it personally offended her. When the ominous clouds were lit up by a bright burst of light she jumped for a second time and climbed into his truck.

The fact that she was in the warm truck with him comforted him. He just wanted her to be safe. This was a new feeling for him, although not all together unwelcome. "I'm hungry. And considering the Grille is before your house..."

"Fine, we can get food if you let me pay," she replied softly. Her voice taking on some degree of sadness that he hadn't heard from her in awhile. She had seemed to have made a lot of strides in her temperament since her first day at Rosewood High, but something was reverting her today.

"Spencer, you don't have to do that." It was a fair bet that she had more money than him, but that didn't mean that he didn't have enough to pay for his own food.

"Nope, you're giving me a ride and letting me drench your truck. It's the least I can do," she repeated herself, leaving no room for argument.

He sighed, torn between his masculine nature and his happiness that she was so agreeable in getting food with him. It would be a chance for the two of them to hang out on a more personal level, which was something that he wanted more than anything. "Fine," he sighed again and stared past the rain. "I hate driving on days like this."

"Why?" She asked him, her voice still much too quiet for his liking.

"I came across a car accident on a day a lot like today, and it just stuck with me. It was- it was horrible." He pulled into a parking space in front of the Grille and turned to face Spencer when she squeaked quietly. "You alright?"

"Not really," she replied honestly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," she repeated, climbing out of the car before he could question her further.

He immediately followed after her, not wanting her to get too far ahead of him. After a moment they both ducked into the Grille, taking a second to wring out their dripping clothes.

"I'm actually starving," she mentioned quietly as they slid into a booth by the window.

"Good, but are you sure you won't let me pay?" He asked her hopefully. It went against his better judgment to allow her to pay. Shouldn't that be his job? As soon as that sexist thought crossed through his mind he cringed at the reaction that he knew Spencer would have had he said that out loud.

"Absolutely not," she laughed, sounding considerably more cheerful.

"Damn it, Hastings, you're wounding my manly pride."

She smirked and grabbed a menu. "Then I'm happy to share with you a page out of the feminist playbook."

There was no winning with this girl. But it was strangely endearing. Every girl he had dated had automatically expected him to pay, which of course he would. But there was something refreshing about a girl who didn't stick to the status quo. "Somehow I feel like your copy of that is well worn and highlighted profusely."

"You got that right." She put her menu down and glanced over her shoulder. "If the waitress comes back order me some cheese fries. I need to use the restroom."

He nodded and watched her progress toward the back of the restaurant. Her mood seemed marginally better, which made him happy. She was much to wonderful to be so sad. He had been through his fair share of pain and heartbreak. He got it. Sometimes it was easier to shut yourself out. Sometimes you felt like it was your only option. After he lost his dad he thought that everything was over. The only thing that brought him back from the unending despair was his friends. It was time to pay it forward. If he could be that person to Spencer he would do everything that he could do to help her.

"Can I help you?"

Toby blinked a few times, abruptly being torn from his thoughts. He smiled at the waitress, "Yeah, can I have two burgers, two orders of cheese fries, and some waters?" He decided to keep it simple and order them the same thing. Spencer only asked for cheese fries, but she looked like she could definitely use a burger.

As soon as the waitress walked away Spencer slid back into the booth across from him. "Food?"

"Food!" He couldn't help but laugh at the excited look on her face. "For someone so skinny you sure seem to enjoy you some food."

"I like to eat," she shrugged. "I just haven't had much of an appetite lately."

"You won't be sad forever, Spencer." His voice was quiet, making sure that he wasn't overheard as the waitress came back and slid their food down in front of them. He carefully watched Spencer's reaction to the extra food, not wanting to offend her. But she had no reaction, and she simply took a large bite of her burger.

"This is delicious. Holy crap, I could live off of Grille burgers for the rest of by life."

He laughed and watched as a glob of ketchup trailed down the side of her mouth. Part of him wished that he could lean across the table and kiss her, but a larger part of him was just thrilled that she seemed to be alright spending time him. "They are pretty good. Have you never eaten here before?"

"No," she wrinkled her nose. "Private school snobs eat fancy pastries at the Brew. We left the Grille for you public schoolers."

"Oh, well I'm glad you agreed to slum it with me today." He said it in a joking tone, but he was serious. He hadn't known Spencer for long, but what he did know was that were few people that he wanted to spend so much time with.

SPOV

_"Oh, well I'm glad you agreed to slum it with me today."_

She had had guy friends, and she had had her fair share of boyfriends. But none of them made her feel like Toby did. He made her heart jump constantly. She was sure that he thought he was being sneaky, but she could feel his eyes on her when he thought she wasn't paying attention. Usually she didn't like it when other people were concerned with her, but she liked the idea of Toby looking after her. It made her feel safe in a way she hadn't felt in a long time.

She opened her mouth to respond to him, but was cut off by an annoying, grating voice. "I don't think she's the one slumming it, Toby."

The voice was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it until they moved into her line of vision, and she saw that it was that bitchy blonde from Toby's house the other day. What was her name? Arlene? Amber?

"Alison, would you just go away?" The fact that Toby didn't seem any happier to see her than Spencer was was gratifying. Bitch needed to just stop spoiling her time with Toby.

"No, I don't think I will. Can't I just enjoy time with friends?" She smiled and slid in next to Toby, snagging a fry from his plate before turning to Spencer. "Sarah, isn't it? Aren't you from that private school?"

"Spencer." She was annoyed, but even through her annoyance she recognized that she was being a bit hypocritical. She hadn't remembered Alison's name until Toby had said it. "And yes. I transferred at the beginning of the year, but I suspect that you already knew that. You strike me as the kind of person that has all the information."

Alison grabbed enough fry and gave Spencer a territorial kind of stare. "You know, Spencer Hastings, that's right. I do know all of the information."

She didn't know what this girl thought that she knew, but she was sick of this. Toby beat her to the reply. "Alison, I'm seriously getting sick of this. Don't talk to her like that."

"No," Spencer interrupted him. She might have changed a lot in the past few months, but what hadn't changed was that she sure as shit wasn't going to let anyone bully her. "What is it that you think you know?"

Alison smirked. "I was hoping you'd ask me that. You see my cousin Mona went to your old school, Spencer. She told me all about you."

Her face paled a bit at the mention of Mona. She had been one of her key tormentors after Aria's death.

"She told me about your stuck up personality, your holier than thou reaction to life, and she also told me how you killed your best friend."

She thought she was strong enough to handle this. She thought she could stand up for herself, but she was wrong. Of course that would come out here. Of course someone at Rosewood High would figure out what she did. She knew that this was too good to be true. Nothing good ever lasted for her. She didn't know what was happening, or what was being said. She heard the angry tone of a masculine voice, and the soft whine of someone more feminine. But she couldn't discern words. She couldn't stay. She couldn't even breath. She had to get out of here.

Before she realized what she was doing she stood up and ran out of the Grille. Where was she supposed to go? What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't go home. Her parents had been so thrilled with the progress she had made in the past few weeks. She didn't want to disappoint them again. She couldn't go to Emily. Emily had been so gracious by accepted her whole heartedly and unreservedly into her group of friends. After embarrassing herself like this she wasn't sure she could ever face her cousin again. Hanna was out with Caleb. She wasn't that close to Maya. And Toby. Oh Toby, she was never going to be able to look him in the eye again. Not after this.

She didn't even realize what she was doing, where she was going. She just had to leave. She ran across the street, her entire body drenched from the rain in a matter of seconds. She couldn't tell the difference between her tears and the rain. The swing set across the street beckoned to her light a lighthouse in the midst of a raging storm. She sat down and put her face in her hands. Oh Aria. _Aria. _God, she was sorry. So, so sorry.

_"You know, I read somewhere that if you push someone hard enough on a swing that they go over the bar they'll go back in time."_

_That was silly, but Spencer had a policy not to dash the dreams of her optimistic best friend. "Really? Where would you go if you had the choice?"_

_Aria rolled her eyes as if she knew exactly what Spencer was doing, but she decided to play along anyway. "Maybe France in the 1800s! Beautiful dresses, balls, history!"_

_"Beheadings, revolution, famine, poverty," Spencer added with a laugh. Clearly Aria needed to catch up on her history._

_The tiny brunette waved her hands dismissively. "Minor details. What about you, Spence?"_

_"I've always thought that I belonged in the 1940s."_

_"As a sexy nurse for some solider coming back from the war?" Aria asked with a wag of her eyebrows._

_"Aria!" She squealed, not being able to hold back her laughter. These were her favorite times. The times that she could just act silly with her best friend, and not have to worry about what any one else though. Life was good._

"Spencer? Spencer!"

She shook her head and blinked her eyes open. Briefly she met Toby's, but they were different. They were clouded with compassion and concern. His hands were on each of her shoulders, and his relief was palpable at her acknowledgement of him. "I'm so sorry, Spence. Please come back to the truck."

"No," she murmured. He was just taking pity on her now. There was no way he wanted to spend any time with her now. He probably had a good laugh with Alison before coming to find her. _  
_

"Spencer, I'm not trying to be an ass, I swear I'm not. But if you don't get up and come with me I swear to God I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you. I'm sorry about Alison. I really am, but I'm not going to let her lies cause you to get sick. Please just come with me."

"She wasn't lying," her voice was nearly inaudible, but she knew Toby heard her by the tension around his mouth.

He sighed so profoundly that she heard it even over the rain crashing into the ground and the thunder rumbling from above. He grabbed both of her wrists and pulled her up. As soon as she was standing on her own two feet he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling the hood over her head. Judging by the rain coat he had had the foresight to check the weather prior to coming to school. It was a sweet gesture, and she didn't want to take it. He shouldn't get sick over her. But she couldn't find the words to refuse him. She barely noticed as he led her back to the truck, opened the door, and directed her inside.

Once he was in he cranked up the heat and turned to her. "I don't know what you've gone through Spencer, and I don't care. I've gotten to know the real you, and I like the person that you are. I care about you, and I'm here if you want to talk. I'm also here if you don't want to talk, but what Alison said? That doesn't change anything."

"She wasn't lying," she repeated, playing with the frayed edges of his jacket. "I killed Aria."

"Can we go somewhere where we can talk?" He asked her permission as he started up his truck.

She didn't have the energy to reply so she bobbed her head up in down one time in affirmation. Toby hesitated and reached out for her hand. As soon as they made contact warmth shot through her arm, giving her courage that she didn't know that she possessed. She had never told anyone the full story before. She didn't even know if she remembered everything. She tried to block it out. She bricked a wall around it in her mind, tucked it away never to be thought about. But maybe the time for that was over.

"Spencer?"

She looked up, and was confused. She didn't know how they got to where they were, but apparently she had been spacing out for longer than she realized. "I- I've never talked about this before. But-" she trailed off, unsure how to continue.

"You can tell me if you want," he told her. "If you want to talk you can, and if not we can just sit up here until you feel better."

"It was on a day a lot like today. That's why I seemed so sad earlier. It- it just brings back horrible memories," she looked out the window and watched the rain drip down the glass. She took a deep breath and proceeded to tell Toby the story that changed her whole life. Not for the better.

_"I want ice cream," Spencer whined and flopped back on the couch._

_"You mean in the vast Hastings kitchen you have no ice cream?" Aria teased paused the current episode of America's Next Top Model. It was the second short girl season and Aria was very personally invested._

_"Nope. Want to go to DQ? I'll buy you a blizzard," she sang in the most persuasive voice that she could muster. "I think they have the thin mint cookie blizzard back!"_

_Aria warily glanced out the window at the thunderstorm. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"  
_

_"Aw, is little baby Aria afraid of a little rain?" Spencer stood up, already knowing that she got her. Aria never took mocking well. And Spencer didn't typically employ that tactic, but she just really wanted some ice cream._

_"Fine, but you better drive well, Hastings."_

_The drive to Dairy Queen was relatively uneventful. They enjoyed their ice cream together, laughed, and talked about other meaningless things. Things that were everything at the time, but that meant nothing now. She was only glad that her last moments with Aria had been happy ones. It was when they left that the problems began. _

_"Hey look, the rain stopped!" Aria laughed and jumped in a giant puddle, pummeling Spencer's jeans with water._

_"You're such a jerk, Montgomery. Maybe I'll make you walk home," she laughed and unlocked the door._

_The drive back into Rosewood was as familiar to Spencer as the back of her hand. She had taken it more times than she could possibly count. Trips with friends, Walmart runs, fast food, and basically everything else. There wasn't much to do in Rosewood. _

_She and Aria sat next to each other in companionable silence. The kind of silence that only the best of friends could share and still be comfortable._

_She didn't see it happen. But she felt it. She felt it as something slammed into the passenger side of her car. Her head slammed into her window, and everything went fuzzy. The car flipped again and again and again. It felt like it would never slow. Glass ripped into her skin and the impact was so intense that it felt like her bones were shaking._

_After what felt like a million years the car finally stopped. She couldn't move. She couldn't breath. She couldn't do anything. _

_Aria. Oh my God, Aria. The car hit her side. She tried to tilt her head to the side to check on her, but she couldn't move. Even the smallest movement sent a wave of pain shooting through her body. Oh God, she couldn't do this. But she had to. She had too. She gritted her teeth and moved quickly, thinking that if she did it fast the pain wouldn't be so bad._

_She was wrong. It was like nothing that she had ever felt. But even that pain was inconsequential when it came to the pain in her heart as her eyes focused in on Aria. Blood dripped down her face and her arm was twisted at a grotesque angle. She wasn't moving. She wasn't **breathing. **_

_"**Aria!**" In her head she was screaming, but the words came out an airless whisper. Her lungs weren't working properly. All she knew, all she wanted, was for Aria to sit up. To sit up and smile and to tell her this was all a prank. That they were fine._

_But they weren't._

"I- I don't remember anything clearly after that. I think someone must have come across the accident, because I remember a soothing voice. I didn't know what they were saying, but they helped me hold on. I remember something blue, and I remember breaking down completely as they took Aria's body away. Other than that- everything's a blur."

"What about you? Were you hurt?"

It was right then that she realized that their hands were still attached, and that her grip was so tight that she had probably long ago cut off his circulation. She gave him an apologetic look as she carefully wiped away her tears with her free hand. "I spent a couple weeks in the hospital, but it doesn't matter. I got out and Aria didn't." She bent at her waist and rested her forehead on her knees. Her free hand tugged at her hair as she tried so hard not to cry.

"Spencer. _Spencer, _listen to me." He gently used his free hand to pry her fingers from their death grip on her hair, and tilted her upward. He placed her forehead against his shoulder and began to slowly and carefully run his fingers through her rain tangled hair. "When I was fifteen I lost my dad and my sister, Jenna, in a car accident. I had gotten in a fight with Jenna the night before, and we always had the nastiest of fights. We loved each other, but we fought just as hard. Dad decided to take Jenna and stay in a hotel that night. It was a chance for the two of us to get some separate time and to cool off. The next morning they left, and on their way home they got hit by a drunk driver. Both of them died immediately. So I get it. _I get it."_

From the first moment that she saw Toby she knew that they had a connection. Was this it? Were they connected by their tragic pasts? "How did you move on?"

"Sometimes I feel so sad that it's like I'll never be happy again," he paused as though to collect his thoughts. "But then I think about it, and I know that they wouldn't blame me. It wasn't my fault, even though it feels that way. Sometimes grief is so intense and cumbersome that our minds translate it as guilt. But even more than that, I know that even if it was my fault that neither of them would blame me."

"I don't know how to do that. I just- Aria wouldn't blame me. I know that. And had the situation been reversed I wouldn't have blamed her. But I- I just can't shake the guilt. She's dead. _Dead. _She was my best friend in the world. And she's dead because of me. And Aria might not blame me, but the rest of the world certainly does." Screw trying not to cry. The tears were coming, and they were coming heavily. She had never talked about this with anyone before, and it was drudging up the worst memories she had.

"What do you mean?"

"I- I know I let you guys believe I left my old school because I couldn't take the memories. And that's true to an extent. But-" She took a deep breath, really not wanting to talk about this. But it was a part of the story, and she couldn't stop now. "But that wasn't everything. Aria was- she was really popular. And no one took her death well. W-when I was in the hospital I started getting texts signed -A. That's how Aria always signed her texts. They pretended like they were from Aria. The worst one I remember getting said something about how I deserved to die instead."

"Oh Spencer," he murmured. She could feel his lips press into her hair. This was a really intimate moment, and she might feel embarrassed about it later. But right now it was comfort that she needed. "You know that's not true, right?"

She didn't answer because she knew no such thing. If she hadn't wanted to get ice cream, if she had just stayed in and watched stupid America's Next Top Model, everything would be fine. Aria would be alive.

"Spencer," he sighed. "I- we don't know each other well. I know that. I know it's only been a few weeks. But there's something about you that is just incredible. And now that I know more of your story I just believe that even more. You've been through something that no one should ever have to go through, but you're still here. You're still fighting and pushing through life, and that's something to celebrate. I'm glad that I'm getting the chance to know you."

The tears just continued to cascade from her swollen eyes and down her cheeks. No one, not her parents, not Emily, not the barrage of shrinks her parents had dragged her too, had put it like that. She was still here. Shouldn't that be something celebrated, and not something that she regretted? She was here, she was alive, and she was fighting for another day.

"Tell me about her," Toby suggested quietly.

The comforting feeling of his fingers in her hair was the only thing keeping her together right now. "She was the best.," she half laughed and half sobbed. "She was a ball of energy. And she always had the dumbest ideas, and when I'd try to refuse them she'd tell me I was being lame and that it'd be an adventure. I always ended up going along with them anyways. One day she decided she wanted to go fishing," she laughed at the memory before she even got the story started, "so we went to the store and got all of the supplies. The poles, the worms, some snacks. Then we went to the lack and she started crying at the thought of having to kill a worm. So instead we spent the afternoon releasing the worms into the wild and eating Doritos."

Toby laughed, "She sounds like she was a great person."

"She was," Spencer said quietly. "And- and you _are _right. If she saw me blaming myself for this she would be so mad at me. I know she wouldn't blame me."

"It's not something that has to happen over night, but maybe that's something that you should keep in mind when you start to feel sad again. What would Aria say to you if she saw you right now?"

"She'd tell me to stop my blubbering and go get some ice cream," Spencer laughed with certainty. She didn't have to think about it. That was absolutely what Aria would tell her to do.

"Well, that's something I can help with," he said softly, a smile tugging at the edges of his lips. He released her except for their intertwined hands, and started the car.

As Toby drove them back into Rosewood she watched him out of the corner of her eye. He had had his fair share of grief, but he handled it beautifully. He clearly missed his father and his sister dearly, but he didn't let it consume him like she did. Maybe- maybe there was hope for her. If Toby could recover then maybe she could too.


	8. Chapter 8

**YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE. I wish I could have written this even faster for you because you are INCREDIBLE. I did NOT just get 11 reviews within less than a day. YOU GUYS. omg. I love you all. I was going to do a shoutout in this chapter, but eh. I can't. Because you're all amazing! So if you reviewed last chapter this chapter is for you! And I think you'll like it :)**

**More to come soon. I promised my friend I'd start the Game of Thrones books before season 4 starts on Sunday. Sigh, nerdy friends are both the best and the worst. Ain't nobody got time for that! **

**OKAY. okay so yeah chapter! REVIEW and read and love it. You're the best readers in the history of readers EVER.**

SPOV

She had read once that when you unload a traumatic memory time it takes a kind of weight off of your shoulders, and for the first time in her life she was beginning to realize that it was true. After talking to Toby she just felt lighter. She felt free in a way that she hadn't felt in a long time. She wasn't naive enough to believe it would last, but she was going to enjoy this new found sense of contentment while she could.

The cafeteria felt especially crowded today, but for the first time since she had been at this school she didn't mind. She would get to see Toby again, which was really great. She thought that she might be embarrassed after opening up to him like that, but she wasn't. She just felt close to him. And because he was basically the most wonderful human being on the planet he did nothing but make her feel comfortable.

There was still a sadness surrounding her heart, but it felt different. It felt like maybe it was possible to be happy again. She slid onto the bench across from Hanna and immediately examined her sandwich. This was going to be tricky.

"Spencer, isn't a beautiful day?!" Hanna sang as she sat down. "Bird chirping, flowers blooming, people being _born._"

The extra emphasis that she placed on born was almost enough to cause her to blow their cover and dissolve into a burst of hysterical laughter, but she simply gave Hanna a soft smile. "It is a really nice day."

Emily snorted from across the table, and Spencer gave her a sharp glare. Be cool, Em. This was your plan.

Hanna didn't seem to notice Emily's reaction as she shifted her gaze from person to person at the table. "Anyone have any special plans tonight?"

"I think I'm going to sit in my boxers and watch House of Cards on Netflix. Eat a whole chicken and burp the alphabet." Caleb laughed from next to Hanna. "You know, real manly stuff."

"That sounds like my scene," Toby added. "Can I join?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind hanging out with me while I'm in my boxers. Not going to put pants on, even for you Cavanaugh."

"Aw, you guys are so cute in your little bromance," Maya chucked through a bite of her granola bar. "Emily and I are going apple picking. I read online that it was like some kind of romantic date or something. I'm trying to be cute." She turned to Emily with a smile. "How's it working?"

Emily leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Maya's lips. "It's going pretty well."

All eyes turned to Spencer she bit her lower lip, trying really hard to refrain from laughing at the offended look on Hanna's face as she thought back to her conversation with Emily this morning.

_"Okay, so I know you don't know this, but today's Hanna's birthday," Emily began._

_Spencer immediately cut her off, "No! Why didn't you tell me? I didn't get her anything."_

_"No, no it's fine. We're doing something different this year. Han is the kind of person that makes a huge deal out of her birthday, so we're going to just pretend like we forgot all day. And then we'll get together this evening and find some excuse to get her to wherever we are. And we'll have an awesome night for her. But it'll be all the better if she thinks we completely forgot, so don't let on."_

"I'm grounded," she sighed dramatically. It was a complete falsehood. She could probably take up marijuana, go sky diving, spend $5,000, bust some windows, and her parents still wouldn't ground her. They were too thrilled by her progress. "I ate the last slice of cherry cheesecake. I know it sounds stupid, but my dad takes his cheesecake really seriously."

"He totally does," Emily confirmed. "Do you remember last year at our super bowl party when he cried because he didn't get any cheesecake? Uncle Peter takes no jokes when it comes to his sweet tooth."

"Then why'd you eat it?" Toby questioned her, doing a poor job of concealing his amusement.

She smiled softly at him, unable to give him any semblance of an annoyed look after everything that he had done for her. "I too enjoy me some cheesecake. And I hadn't gotten any. It was delicious and completely worth it." She turned to Hanna with a small smile. "What are you doing tonight, Han?"

She shot Spencer a dirty look that she then shared with the rest of the table. "My mom bought this movie. It's about this girl and all of her friends forgot her birthday. I thought it was unrealistic and didn't want to watch it, but now I'm not so sure. I think I'll stay in with my mom and eat some cake. I might get fat."

"Aw sweetheart, you won't get fat from one piece of cake. Maybe if you eat the whole cake, but not just one piece." Caleb started out so promising, but turned offensive in one fluid motion.

Hanna huffed, stood up, and smacked Caleb on the back of the head. "I'm going to the library." She didn't bother with any other explanation.

As soon as Hanna was out of sight Emily reached over and smacked Caleb on the arm. "We're supposed to just forget about her birthday, not make her cry!"

"What?" He looked genuinely confused. "If you eat a whole cake you really might get fat."

Oh my God, a lot of the time guys were oblivious, but Caleb was the tops. But she honestly wasn't sure whether it was cute or awkward. He genuinely didn't understand why Hanna was offended. Toby groaned and put his face in his hands. "Yeah, but you don't say it out loud, man!"

"You see, Toby knows how to be a gentleman," Maya laughed. "You guys, Hanna is going to flip out when she actually gets to our little friend party."

"Where are we doing this anyway?" Caleb asked just after taking a large bite of his sandwich. Spencer cringed. Boys are disgusting.

"Um-" she started, blushing when they all turned to look at her. "My parents are out of town being lawyers. We could do it at my house."

"Wait, so we get to finally see the allusive Hastings manor?" Caleb was way too excited about the possibility of seeing her house.

"I mean, I guess. But it's not that awesome."

Emily snorted and stood up as the bell rang. "You're too used to your own massive, fancy house, Spence. But that's perfect. Maya and I will go buy decorations. Caleb, you just focus on not further offending Hanna." Emily quickly glanced at Maya out of the corner of her eye and smirked. Oh God, is she scheming? "Spencer and Toby, can you go get food? A cake definitely, and then maybe some snacks?"

Oh Lord, apparently she wasn't as subtle in her admiration of Toby as she thought she was being. Although Emily had literally been one of her best friends for her entire life. Maybe she was being stealthy. Either way, this was totally a set up. Not that she was complaining.

Toby turned to her with a smile. "Works for me. You alright with that, Spence?"

Emily mouthed _Spence _over his shoulder with a smirk. Oh my God, Emily be cool. She was being ridiculous today, which was causing her to feel a mix of annoyance and elation. Emily was joking with her again. Maybe she didn't seem so broken anymore. "Yeah, that works for me."

* * *

The rest of the day flew by in a haze of fractions, history, and skeletal systems. Usually she enjoyed school, but today she was distracted by the thought of spending more time with Toby.

She liked him. She knew that she liked him, but was she ready for that? Was she ready to be so vulnerable again? And this whole internal debate may not even matter. Who's to say that he thought about her in that way at all? Alison was gorgeous, where as Spencer was just kind of plain. Why would he want her? Poor, damaged, broken Spencer.

She shook her head, stopping those thoughts immediately. She wasn't going to allow herself to be buried by the grief again. He wanted to be her friend for sure, and that was enough for now.

"Spencer, are you ready to go?"

It was embarrassing, but even his voice made her smile. She felt like one of those awkward school girls. "Yeah, let's go."

They walked together to his truck in a comfortable silence. And in typical, swoon-worthy Toby manner he held open her door for her as she slid into the truck and carefully shut the door behind her once he saw that she was situated. As he came around the bed of the truck she took a minute to look at him. It was an impressive testament to his personality that she had never really checked out his body. Which was about as swoon-worthy as his personality. She needed to look away or else she going to embarrass herself by drooling or stumbling over her words.

"How are you doing, Spencer? You seem like you're in a better mood."

Sometimes someone asks you how you're doing and you know that they're just trying to be polite. But it was different with Toby. She could tell from his earnest gaze that he genuinely wanted to know. "I- yeah I really am. I don't even know." She was talking like a star struck moron, and she didn't even care. Toby just had the effect on her.

He threw one last quick smile in her direction as he pulled out of the parking lot and in the direction of Rosewood's tiny grocery store. "I'm glad. You should be happy."

If he kept saying things like that she was going to throw caution to the wind and just kiss him. She didn't believe in perfection, and she certainly didn't want to give anyone an impossible ideal to live up to. But God, Toby was making it really hard to stick to that belief. "Thanks," she replied simply. She didn't know what else to say, but she hoped that her simple response fully expressed the depths of her gratitude.

They didn't say anything else on the drive. They didn't need to. There had been few people in her life with whom she felt as comfortable as she did with Toby. She felt like they could talk about anything and nothing. The warning bells were going off in the back of her mind. Letting herself get close or attached was a terrible idea. What if he left her? What if she hurt him? There were so many what if's. But could she really let herself be controlled by what might happen?

"So, I sincerely hope that you know what Hanna likes. Because I didn't think to ask Emily."

They walked together into the store, and Toby grabbed a cart, directing it immediately toward the baked goods section. "Hanna likes to pretend to be all healthy, but really she'd like nothing more than a big, goo-y brownie and a bowl full of chips and salsa."

Spencer laughed and tossed a thing of brownies into the cart. "Alright so brownies, check!"

They walked up and down the aisles, randomly tossing things into the cart, and just making casual conversation. It was comfortable in a way that she had forgotten was possible. "Since I never got to pay at the Grille the other night I think you need to just go ahead and let me buy this," she gestured to the cart. She was phrasing it as a question, but she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Spencer," he groaned, pulling out his wallet.

"Toby Cavanaugh, I swear that I will tackle you in the middle of Rosewood General Store for God and everyone to see. Furthermore, I could drop $1,000 right now and my oblivious parents wouldn't even notice. Let me blow some of their money. My credit cards have been neglected lately." She laughed, but she really would tackle him if she needed to. Half the town already thought she was crazy. She had everyone that she needed. There was no one that she needed to impress. Well, except for maybe Toby.

"Fine," he sighed dramatically as though it was a massive burden, but she could see the smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He loved it.

Checking out at the store and the drive back to her house were as mundane, ordinary, and wonderful as your might expect. It reminded her of happier times. Times before the oppressive burden of all-consuming sadness bore down on her. Because as joyful as she felt right now, she knew it wouldn't last. Maybe she wouldn't crawl into the dark hole that she had spent months in, but something would happen to knock her down. That was just life. Even before everything happened life was like that. But at least back then she had had Aria to bring her back.

_"Spence, what's wrong? And if you tell me you're fine I'm going to knock you upside the head with my backpack. And it's flipping heavy. I have Chemistry **and **History homework."_

_"I-" she sighed and looked up at the grey, dreary sky. Even the weather matched her melancholy mood. "Don't freak out."_

_"Oh good God, it was the devil, wasn't it? What did she do this time? Isn't she supposed to be in Philly being superior and interviewing at colleges?"_

_She couldn't help but smile slightly at that. Aria had never liked Melissa. It was nice, because she felt like the consummate second when it came to her prettier, smarter, just all around better older sister. "I- God, she just is so frustrating. I know I made a mistake with Wren, but I wasn't trying to be mean, you know? It just kind of happened, and when I realized what I was doing I broke it off. She's just being downright cruel."_

_"Do you want me to kick her ass?" _

_Aria was completely serious, which made her statement all the better. Someone believed her, and someone was willing to defend her. But the mental picture of tiny Aria kicking Melissa in the face was too much. She dissolved into hysterical giggles and wrapped her arm around Aria's shoulders. "I love you." _

"Spencer?"

She opened her eyes and was shocked to see that they were in front of her house. This whole spacing out thing needed to stop if she wanted to convince her new friends that she was sane. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About?" He asked her curiously as he gathered up most of the bags. He probably could have gotten them all, but she appreciated that he left a few for her. She wasn't some helpless little flower that couldn't manage to carry a grocery bag full of chips and cookies a few feet. Toby really just understood her in an unprecedented way.

"Just- just Aria." Usually she would have made up some kind of lie, but he already knew more about her situation than anyone. What was the point?

He stopped right outside the door and looked at her with serious eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she said sincerely. "I really am. I'm better than I have been in a really long time. She just pops into my head at the most random times."

"I get it," he smiled and carefully maneuvered the door open. "When we were debating over buying strawberries or blackberries it made me think of the time my dad made Jenna and I 'strawberry' shortcakes with blackberries instead. They were actually really good, and my mom and I still make them that way sometimes."

She smiled at him and walked into the house in front of him so she could shut off the alarm system, but it wasn't necessary. Emily and Maya had beat them there, and she could see Caleb's car pulling into the drive right at that moment. "So how are we going to get Hanna over here?"

"Well, you're going to have to call her since we're at your house, Spence." Emily began, but she trailed off.

She started to laugh quietly as she thought of an idea. "Oh my God, alright I've got this. Do you guys want to set up the food and stuff while I take care of this?"

She didn't wait for an answer as she dialed Hanna's number.

_"Hello?"_

"Hanna! It's Spencer," she took a second to control her emotions and to take on a frantic voice. "Listen, I hate to ask you this, but I can't get a hold of anyone else."

_"What's up, Spencer?"_

Her voice was kind of sad, but also concerned. It made her feel a little bad for this, but she would appreciate it once she got here. "I- okay, so it's that time of the month. And I had a craving. I ate more of my dad's cheesecake, and he's going to be **so **mad at me. Can you please, please, _please _grab a cheesecake from the bakery and bring it here. I'll like pay you double if you want. But, I can't drive and-"

_"Spencer! Breath! Yeah, I'll bring you one. Text me your address because I'm not positive exactly where you live."_

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She sighed theatrically. "Sorry for the ridiculous request, but like I said, I'm desperate."

_"No problem, girl. See you soon."_

Spencer hung up and quickly texted Hanna her address. When she turned around she was met with four sets of eyes in various states of amusement. "Spencer Hastings, you're an evil genius." Maya gave her an awkward fist bump and spun off to artfully arrange the cookies on a plate. "You guys are also rocking grocery shoppers. Hanna needs to get here, because I want to eat all of it."

"And apparently we're going to get a cheesecake too," Caleb snorted. "Good call, Spencer."

She smiled and walked over to help Maya, but in the process she tripped over a stray grocery bag. She flinched, anticipating contact with the hard kitchen floor. But that contact never came. Toby chuckled quietly and used the hands that caught her to haul her to her feet. Once he was sure that she was steady he released her. "You're so graceful, Spence."

"I do what I can," she laughed, gave him a grateful smile, and went to help Emily and Maya.

"What's going on with you two, Spence?" Emily whispered into her ear.

"With who? Me and Toby?" Spencer knew exactly who Emily was talking about, but she didn't know how to answer.

"Duh," Maya chimed in from the other side of the table. "You guys would literally make the cutest couple, and Toby needs someone who's not a bitch of epic proportions."

"Alison? Yeah, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting that one." Spencer rolled her eyes, wanting to avoid the subject of her and Toby. He was basically amazing, and there was no way that he was interested in her like that, as much as she kind of wanted him to be.

"Oh God, what did she say to you? That stupid-"

Spencer couldn't help but laugh at Emily's outrage. "Down, tiger. Everything's fine. But I definitely see her fitting into the bitch category."

"So you and Toby..." Maya trailed off suggestively.

She sighed, realizing she wasn't getting out of this. "There's something different about him. I don't know."

"Something Spencer Hastings doesn't know? Interesting," Emily smirked and stood up straight, admiring their food arrangement. "But in all honesty, Spence, I've known Toby basically my entire life and I've never seen him like this before."

Spencer was going to ask her what she meant, but she was cut off by a girlish shriek from Caleb.

"Did that noise really just come out of your mouth, Caleb?"

She laughed because Maya asked exactly what was on her mind. Caleb glared at her before peeking out the window again. "Hanna's here! Everyone hide!"

"Why? Look at her face," Toby chuckled. "She sees our cars. She knows that we're here."

At that moment Hanna pushed through the front door with a huff of annoyance. "If you guys are all hanging out and just sent me to fetch you a stupid cheesecake I'm going to-"

"Um, happy birthday?" Caleb said sheepishly, being the first one to run into her.

Hanna's wide blue eyes took in the decorations, the food, and the grins on all of their faces. She carefully sat down the cheesecake and pummeled Caleb in the arm. "Oh my God, I hate all of you! I really thought that you all forgot my birthday!"

"Ouch! Abuse!" Caleb's voice didn't hold any annoyance as he ducked down to press a soft kiss to Hanna's lips. "And as if we could forget your birthday, Han. You've been dropping hints for about two months."

"I just like my birthday, alright? It's like my own personal holiday!"

"So do you have any board games or anything?" Toby's voice was closer than she expected, causing her to jump in alarm. "Sorry," he chuckled, placing a steadying hand on either of her arms.

"Just try to give me a heart attack, why don't you?" She laughed and beckoned for him to follow her down into the basement. "Follow me to a place that few people have been before. The Hastings basement of awesome."

She flipped on the lights, revealing a ping pong table, a few arcade games, and a big screen tv with several movie theater-style chairs. But what she was headed for was the walk in closet in the corner full of board games. "Take your pick."

"Holy shit, now I see what Emily was talking about." He glanced appreciatively around the basement. "You don't act like you have this much money."

"I don't like for people to know. I'm not any better than anyone just because my parents make a lot of money going off and being lawyers. I'd rather people like me for who I am than for what I have." She shrugged, knowing that it sounded cliche. But it was the absolute truth. Money was the destroyer of genuine relationships.

"You're amazing." Coming from some people it might have been an awkward complement that she brushed off or an insincere jumble of words. But when Toby said it she knew that he meant it.

"You're pretty alright," she joked. "What about Scrabble? I really like to kick ass in Scrabble."

"Oh, I will give you a run for your money. Scrabble is my game. But no one else will like that. Let's just grab a couple."

She nodded, feeling especially agreeable today. She had good food, good friends, and the promise of a competitive Scrabble game. What more could she want? Her joy was temporarily suspended as she reached for their well-worn Battleship and a spider fell from the shelf, landing on her shoulder. "Oh my God, oh my God get it off."

"Scared of a little spider? That thing was maybe the size of a dime," he laughed as he brushed it off of her and onto the floor.

"They're creepy. They scuttle around and have too many legs."

She looked up at him, expecting him to throw another sarcastic retort her way, but something changed in his eyes. He softly brushed a chunk of hair away from her face and behind her ear. His head slowly lowered down, making his intentions clear. He was giving her every opportunity to push him away, but she didn't want to. She leaned up and met him halfway, joining their lips together in a soft kiss.

When they pulled away he just rested his forehead against hers for a moment, his nose brushing against her own in the softest of contact. A lazy smile spread across his lips.

When she turned twelve her mom gave her an abridged version of the _**talk**_, and it mostly consisted of science and statistics. Things that no twelve year old was interested in. But she did say one thing that stuck with her. She told her to wait for the guy who kissed her and caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach; to wait for someone who saw her worth and reminded her of who she was when she couldn't see it for herself. She told her to wait for a guy like Toby. "I- I wasn't expecting that." She told him quietly, her face breaking out into a genuine smile.

"Me either," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so this chapter starts up immediately where the last one ends. Just for clarification's sake lol. And listen guys, haha I'm literally the most inconsistent writer in the world. I'll update twice a day at one point, and then other times it will take me a week. But that's okay! I just get too excited when I finish a chapter and I can't wait to share it with you!**

**Thanks for being so wonderful! Let me know what you think.**

**Also, this chapter is super super super adorable and sappy until it's not anymore, which is not my usual style haha. SO if it's terrible feel free to tell me. I mean, say it nicely, but it's still okay to say!**

**ALSO, the end of this made me cry. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that hahaha. But yeah. Sorry about the ending. But the next chapter holds even more answers. So that's good, right?!**

Chapter 9

TPOV

She smelled like summer time. It was the strongest thought running through his mind right now. If he closed his eyes he could just imagine them in field full of flowers, with the sun beating down on them. Her lips were smooth, and she tasted vanilla and cinnamon.

From the first moment he saw her he knew there was something special about her. He saw that through her grief. Some people just have a light that shines too brightly to be hidden, despite their trying circumstances. And Spencer's light shined bright than any he had previously seen.

But there was also something familiar about her. He couldn't shake the feeling that they had met before. Although, granted they very well might have. They lived in the same town, and they both had close connections to Emily. Their paths had probably crossed before.

They kissed for a long time, but it didn't feel long enough. Spencer finally pulled away and diverted her eyes. A small smile and a deep blush were the two most prominent features on her face at the moment. "We should probably go back upstairs."

"Hold on," he immediately replied, much more softly than he usually spoke. The moment felt too intimate for a louder tone. "Can we talk about this?"

She looked back up at him, her smile growing marginally. "Are you seriously asking for a DTR?"

"What?" He didn't know what a DTR was, but he loved that he could make her smile like that.

"Define the relationship. I guess it's a girl thing." She punctuated her response with an uncharacteristically girly giggle.

"Well then yes, that's exactly what I want to do." He laughed, hoping that this conversation would go the way that he wanted it to go.

Her smile dimmed slightly, but it didn't disappear completely. "I- um I really like you. A lot. But-"

Buts were never the way you wanted a conversation like this to go. "Just tell me," he murmured, staring down at her with wide, earnest eyes.

"I-" she began, but immediately trailed off, "I just don't know how good at this I'll be. I feel okay now, but who knows how long that will last, and-"

He shook his head, immediately cutting her off. "Listen, Spencer. We can move as slowly as you need too, okay? I'm not going to push you into anything that you're not ready for. I'm not that kind of guy."

"No," she said immediately, looking appalled by the suggestion. "No, I know that Toby. I just- I'm broken, and it's not fair to you. I don't know if I can be fixed. It's not fair to expect you to stick around for that. I'm going to mess up. I'm going to screw this up somehow, I just know it."

"Hey," he didn't like the pinched, sad look on her face. "I know who you are, Spencer. I know who you are and I like you exactly the way that you are."

She looked back down and then back up at him. He could see the water welling up in her eyes, but before he could say anything she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. This kiss was different than the other ones. It was more urgent. At some point the tears spilled from her eyes and began to run down her cheeks, but when he tried to pull away to see if she was okay she grasped his shirt with both hands and deepened the kiss.

After what seemed like only a few seconds Spencer pulled away and just looked at him for a second. She tentatively reached out and trailed a few fingers down his jawline. She didn't look at his eyes, but she watched the progress of her fingers. He leaned a bit into her hand as he reached across and grasped her other hand in his, carefully interlocking their fingers together. This was getting to be a little much. He needed to get them out of the closest before this progressed into something that he was sure that she wasn't ready for, whether she realized that or not. "Um was that an 'I'm open to the idea of a relationship?'" He asked her with a quiet chuckle.

She just simply nodded, not seeing a need for words. She was so beautiful. It wasn't an in your face kind of beauty. It was the kind of beauty that snuck up on you. You always knew that she was pretty, but the more you looked at her the more gorgeous she became. Her soft brown hair, expressive brown eyes, and her quiet nature all joined together to create one of the most stunning individuals that he had ever laid eyes on.

"Let's go back upstairs before they come looking for us," he said, suddenly aware of how long they had been downstairs. It was just long enough to give everyone the complete wrong impression. Emily would be sensitive, but he couldn't say the same for the other three idiots that he called his best friends.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure Emily and Maya probably realize exactly what we've been doing down here."

Oh Lord, if that was true he was in for a world of teasing later. "What do you mean?"

"When we were setting up the food they were giving me the third degree about whether or not we were... you know..." she trailed off adorable burst of shyness.

He just smirked and led her back upstairs with their hands still interwoven, which was probably the least painful way to inform their friends. He had held hands with a few girls before, but it had never felt like this. Like two puzzle pieces that you were finally able to fit together. He felt it somewhat the other day when she was breaking down in his truck, but now? Now that he knew she felt the same way he did it was all exacerbated.

He knew his mental thoughts were bordering something along the lines of a twelve year old girl's diary, but he couldn't help it. Spencer brought out the sappy side in him.

"What are you thinking about?" She inquired as they walked side by side up the stairs.

"I'm just being really sappy and thinking about how lucky I am that you didn't think I was a creep for kissing you." The more he thought about it the more he realized how awkward this whole situation could have been had Spencer not been agreeable toward it. Whoops.

"Are you kidding? I've been thinking about nothing but kissing you for the past few days. I'm glad that _you _made the first move, because I probably would have spontaneously combusted overthinking everything."

He smiled and pulled the door open for her, letting her go up first. "What were you guys doing down there? Making out?" Caleb asked them with a laugh from his spot on the couch.

Hanna looked up from her plate of snacks with a smirk. Her eyes traveled down to meet their connected hands. Her smirk dropped off of her face in sheer shock. "You guys did make out, didn't you?! Oh my God!" She laughed happily and shot up to her feet. "Did this just happen randomly?"

"Are you kidding?" Emily asked as she came up behind them with a pitcher of lemonade. "They've been making eyes at each other since they met. I wish I would have put some money down on this."

Wow, he thought that he had been being stealthy, but apparently he was wrong. Maya laughed and appeared next to Emily with some plastic cups. "The sexual tension was crazy."

"You two should know all about that," Spencer spoke up suddenly, raising a challenging eyebrow in Maya's direction. "Are you guys even officially dating? I'm so confused, but you're always looking at each other like you want to rip each other's clothes off."

Sassy Spencer was probably his favorite thing. Mostly because it was just so completely unexpected. She went from quiet and introspective to full of life and sass with literally no warning.

Hanna apparently agreed with him because she made a noise that was laughing and choking on her cookie in equal parts. "Spencer Hastings, I think I love you."

"You're kind of okay, Han." She replied immediately. She sighed and reluctantly let go of Toby's hand and hopped up. "Birthday girl gets to pick the featured entertainment. Follow me into the closet of DVDs, Ms. Marin."

Hanna jumped up with a nod of approval, clearly just happy that they were no longer ignoring her on her special day.

"No," Caleb groaned, pulling a throw pillow that probably cost more than his junky old car over his eyes. "Hanna do not pick a stupid chick flick."

"My birthday, my rules," she sang as she disappeared around the corner with Spencer.

"Em, who the hell is the blonde chick in the picture," he gestured to what Toby assumed was a picture. He didn't know, he was paying more attention to a frustrating round of Flappy Bird on his phone. "Does Spencer have a sister or something? She's kind of hot."

Emily's eyes turned in the direction that Caleb was indicating, and as soon as she saw what he was pointing to she giggled softly. "No, that's Spencer. She used to dress really differently, and she experimented with hair dye. There for awhile her and her friend Aria had matching pink streaks in their hair. She looks really different now, right?"

Toby wrinkled his nose at Caleb calling Spencer hot. But a blonde Spencer? That was something he had to see. He looked up at the picture, and he swore his heart skipped a few beats. Without even realizing that he got up his feet carried him to the picture so that he could get a closer look. No. _No. _That wasn't possible. It was too big of a coincidence.

"Toby? Man, are you alright? It looks like you just swallowed a thumbtack." Caleb was as subtle as always, but Toby didn't have the mental capacity for a response right now.

"Em?" He breathed, knowing that Emily would come to him. He didn't think that he could walk right now.

"Toby? What's wrong?" She put her hand on his bicep in a show of concern.

"When- when was Spencer's accident? What day?" He swallowed tightly, not sure what he wanted her answer to be.

Her face was colored with confusion, but she didn't hesitate in responding to him. He could only imagine what his face looked like right now. "August 22nd last year. Why?"

No. _No. _Oh my God. He knew he recognized her. He _knew _that there was something familiar about her. But this? How was this even possible. How was it possible that their connection went this deep? He slid to the ground and rested his back against the exterior brick of the fire place. He closed his eyes and thought back to that day.

_Ever since his dad died he tried to be a good son. The burden of guilt wasn't as strong as it once had been, but it was still present like a ball of fire around his slowly healing heart. Occasionally it flared up in an all consuming pain, but more often than not it was just a dull throb in the background of his consciousness._

_ That was why when his mother asked him to go fetch some milk that he did so without a second thought. She was hurting too, and she didn't need to deal with the extra stress of a rebellious teenage son. He would do whatever he could to make things easier on her. The weather wasn't wonderful, but it was finally slowing down from the massive storm that had pummeled them earlier._

_As he approached Rosewood a black SUV pulled out in front of him. That was a nice car. He kind of wished that he could afford something like that, but he was grateful that he had a vehicle at all. And his tan truck had served him well over the past year._

_Before he could even comprehend what was happening he saw a large, ostentatious yellow vehicle run a stop sign and slam hard into the passenger side of the SUV. The SUV crumbled up like a broken accordion. He slammed on his brakes in the middle of the road and jumped out of his truck, leaving the door open and the engine running. He couldn't be there to save his dad. He couldn't help Jenna when she needed him. But this? This he could do. _

_The remaining vestiges of rain poured dropped on his face. He expected someone from the other vehicle to help him, but when he turned to check it out he saw them backing up and driving away down the back roads. Were they serious?_

_He didn't have time to think too hard about it. He knew that the people in the SUV were going to need help. He pulled out his phone and placed a quick 911 call as he finally approached the still vehicle. The passenger side was too damaged. He wasn't going to be able to help the person on that side. If help was even possible for them. But maybe he could help the driver._

_He fell to his knees by their window, the vehicle had landed at an odd angle where as the person inside was practically upside down. His eyes were met by a sight that broke his heart. The driver couldn't be much older than he was. She was quietly muttering something that he couldn't quiet understand while trying to revive her friend in the passenger seat. The girl wasn't breathing, and he knew that he couldn't get to her without damaging the driver._

_"Are you okay?" He asked the girl, helplessly, knowing that the answer was no. Her blonde hair was soaked with blood. He wasn't sure whether it was her own or the passenger's, but he knew that she needed help. He didn't know what to do other than to carefully reach through the broken window and take her hand._

_At the contact it was like she finally realized that he was there. She turned her head, her eyes shut to block her reaction to the pain. Much of her face was distorted by blood and bruises, but once she opened her eyes they stuck with him. Beautiful, expansive, pain-filled, and chocolate brown. "Hang on, help is coming."_

"Toby!"

He shook his head and opened his eyes, coming back to the present. The eyes from his memory were looking down at him in concern. "Toby, are you alright?"

"Spencer, we need to talk."

**Good job with the two of you who guessed that Toby was there! I was going to have Spencer's reaction, but I have plans tonight and this is all I could get too! Hope you don't mind :). Assuming the reviews are alright I'll post the next chapter mid-week!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I'm leaving in a few hours to go out of town until Friday, and I really, really, really wanted to get this chapter up before I left! So I worked tirelessly for you all ;). You should appreciate me, haha. **

**This is by far my favorite chapter so far. But it's emotional. Super emotional. Fair warning. Press on, and leave me reviews! The more I get the more I might have time to write. After I finish the next chapter of Unchained Melody, of course! **

**LOVE YOU ALL. Thanks for being so wonderful.**

Chapter 10

TPOV

_"Spencer, we need to talk."_

The shocked look on her face made him wish he had phrased that better. He certainly didn't expect her to like the conversation that they were about to have, but it wasn't like he was going to already ditch her. "Not like that, Spence. But you aren't going to like it. We should go-" He looked around around, not really sure where they should go since he had never been to her house before.

"We can go to my room," her voice was soft, and her hands gentle as she helped lift him to his feet. His chest swelled with affection for this girl. She didn't know what was wrong with him. She didn't know how greatly that it was going to effect her when he had the chance to tell her. Yet here she was, treating him with all of the kindness and gentleness in the world.

He barely paid attention as she led him through the maze-like halls of her house. At another, happier time he would have been interested to stop and examine the pictures that adorned the walls. He was sure that once his mom found out that they were together she would take the first opportunity to sit Spencer down and show her all of his baby pictures. It was only fair that he had the opportunity to do the same.

The door to her bedroom creaked softly as she opened it and slowly helped him to the bed. "What's wrong, Toby?"

"I- God, Spencer I don't know how I didn't realize it before." He ran a hand through his hair, becoming more agitated the longer they talked. He should have known. He should have realized. Those brown eyes seared themselves onto his heart, onto his soul. He should have recognized them immediately. "I don't even know where to start."

"Try the beginning," she replied with absolutely no sarcasm. She hesitated before reaching out and taking his hand in hers. The cool touch of her smooth skin instantly sent a sense of calm through him.

"You-" he sighed deciding to begin where he did with Emily. "Spencer, when was your accident?"

Almost immediately the concern wiped off of her face, and it was replaced by panic and anguish. He hated that he was the one to put that look on her face, but he needed to hear it from her. As she directed her panicked brown eyes in his direction he was once again struck by how familiar they were to him. How had he not realized that it was her as soon as he met her? "W-why?"

"Please, Spencer. You know that I wouldn't be asking you this if it wasn't necessary."

To her credit she didn't look like she was going to run. She didn't look like she was going to pull her hand away. She didn't even flinch. She was making such incredible progress, and he could only hope that this didn't set her back at all. "August 22nd," she murmured.

Her words were nearly inaudible, but they were enough. "Okay, okay." He closed his eyes before speaking to her, wanting to figure out the best way to tell her what she needed to know. "Remember when I told you that I came across a bad accident?"

He saw something flash in her eyes and instinctively knew that she knew what he was going to tell her. He sucked in a deep breath before shutting his eyes and recounting his side of their shared story.

_His heart momentarily jumped at the sight of those big, brown, soulful eyes. His hand tightened around hers, trying to provide as much comfort as he could possibly muster. "What's your name?" He asked the girl desperately. He didn't know much, but what he did know was that he needed to keep her talking._

_She coughed a harsh, hacking cough. A thin trail of blood dribbled down the side of her face. Her glassy eyes drifted over to her friend before turning back to him, the anguish evident in her eyes. She knew as well as he did that her friend wasn't coming back. "S-Spen-" she gasped out in one stuttering breath. _

_"Okay, okay don't try to talk," he glanced down the road, praying that he would see the bright, whirling lights of the ambulance chugging down the gravel road. He was out of his league. He didn't know what else he could do for this broken girl, but he knew that he had to try his best. It was like God was giving him a second chance. There was nothing that he could do for Jenna or his dad. He would have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. Her friend was clearly beyond saving, but this girl was still breathing. She was still moving. He could help her._

_He looked back down at her and noticed just how violently she had begun to shiver and the sickly shade of blue that was slowly spreading across her lips. It wasn't that cold, but she was very thin and she was clearly suffering from a lot of blood loss. He gently pulled his hand away from her, his stomach twisting in guilt at the small whimper that escaped her lips. "Just a second," he murmured, just loudly enough for her to hear. He quickly slid out of his sweater and gently covered her upper body with it. _

_"Is that better?" He asked her, his eyes studying her face. His hand slid back into hers, and he was shocked at how much colder it was after just the few seconds they were apart. She was losing too much blood too fast. Where was that damn ambulance? In the back of his mind he knew that it had only been a minute or two, but at that moment it felt as though he had been waiting a lifetime. He couldn't watch her die. He just couldn't._

_Her pain filled eyes left his face and drifted over to her friend again. Her fingers slackened in his hand, but he squeezed them tightly, hoping to inspire some more life into them. "I know. I know, I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I lost my dad and my sister in a car accident not too long ago. I know how you feel, but it will get better. You just have to push through this. You have to survive, because the best is yet to come for you. I'm sure of it."_

_He didn't know where these words were coming from, and he sincerely hoped that they were the right thing to say. "You will be sad for awhile. Devastated probably. And it's understandable. It makes sense. I can see just from the expression on your face how important she was to you. But one day something will happen to help you move on, and slowly but surely you'll begin to heal. You'll look around and you'll see the beauty in the world again. You'll stop regretting that you didn't die too, and you'll appreciate the gift that was given to you here. I know you don't believe me. I don't know if you'll even remember this. But it's true. It's so true. You won't be sad forever. You'll recover."_

_Toward the end of his speech her eyes began to drift shut. "No. Hey, open your eyes."_

_But she didn't. Instead of opening them wider they closed even more tightly. "You hang on. Do you hear me?"_

_He leaned further into the window and dragged his eyes up and down her body, looking for the source of bleeding. Because she half upside down the blood was coming more quickly than usual, probably contributing to her lethargic state. He noticed a large wound on her lower abdomen and carefully brushed his fingers over it, making sure that there was no glass before pressing down hard, hoping to stop the blood floor. "Don't give up. Don't you dare give up. You're stronger than this. Don't give up."_

_The ambulance suddenly pulled up on the scene. In the commotion he hadn't even heard it coming. In the last few seconds he had gotten more invested than he had originally intended. In the beginning this started as a way to atone for the sins that he committed against Jenna and his dad, but somewhere along the way it became more. He didn't want this girl to die. He wanted her to live and see the beauty of life again. She couldn't die._

At some point through his story telling he diverted his eyes. If he looked into the same brown eyes that were running through his memories he would dissolve into a mess of tears that he might not soon recover from. He felt like he was supposed to be the strong one. Spencer was the one who almost died. She was the one who had to watch her best friend die. But this was all too much. "The paramedics forced me away from you, but I stayed on the scene and watched as they cut you out of your car. I watched as they loaded you into the ambulance. I watched while they took Aria away. It just felt wrong to leave you there alone."

He took a shaky breath. He still didn't dare look up at Spencer. It was inevitable at some point, but her pain was sure to take him over the edge. "Then I went home. I told my mom what happened, but I never mentioned it to anyone else. It- it just didn't feel right."

Before he could even think about looking up at Spencer she threw her body into him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She buried her head in his shoulder. He immediately responded by tenderly embracing her with one arm. He used the other to run his hand through her hair in a soothing motion. Sobs rocked through her body, and her tears soaked through his shirt within minutes.

She said something, but he couldn't quite catch it. "Say that again?" He asked her softly, his lips only millimeters from her ear.

Her head lifted slightly, turning to the side so that her words didn't get lost against his skin. "You saved my life."

"I- no, Spence- I just did what-"

"No," she cut him off through her tears. "No. I remember bits and pieces. It's more clear after listening to your story. I- I wanted to give up. I wanted to just close my eyes and die. Aria was dead, and it was all my fault. That was the only thought running through my mind when you came up to me. And then there you were. You told me that it wasn't my fault and that I was worth something. And some part of me- some small part of me believed you. And it kept me holding on."

SPOV

She ducked her head back down, the memories of her time in the hospital bearing down on her. She must have blocked the memories out right until this moment, but now they were rushing back to her like nothing she had ever experienced.

"Spencer, don't give me credit for something that you did."

He didn't get it, did he? He didn't understand. "No, listen to me, please."

_Everything hurt. Pain radiated through every single part of her body, but she kind of liked it. It felt like something she deserved._

_The sound of the door closing echoed through the tiny room, but she didn't look up to see who it was. She didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. Maybe she would get lucky and it would be a serial killer coming to murder her._

**_"It will get better. You just have to push through this."_**

_She didn't know where those annoyingly optimistic thoughts were coming from, but she wanted nothing to do with them. But in her darkest moments they popped into her mind like the annoying song that you couldn't get rid of. _

**_"Don't give up. Don't you dare give up."_**

_Soft, gentle hands pressing into her stomach, trying to stop the blood flow, and a flash of blue. Had someone stopped at the accident? She truly couldn't remember. The doctors said that it was because she didn't want to remember, and that was probably true. Who wanted to relive- that? Who would want to see that running through their mind day after day? She couldn't even think her name. Not yet. She had taken enough psychology to know that the memories would come back to her at some point, but for right now maybe she could keep it hidden away._

_"Spencer?"_

_She blinked up in surprise. Melissa hadn't come to see her yet. "Melissa?"_

_Tears welled up in her eyes as her big sister perched on the edge of her bed. "Oh God, Spence. Oh God. Are you okay?"_

_Answering how she was was absolutely the last thing she wanted to do, but maybe Melissa had the answers she was looking for. "Did someone stop at the accident?"_

_"What?" She lifted one hand to wipe away a stray tear and used the other to gently grasp her sister's bruised hand. Everything on her was bruised. They said she was lucky to survive. **Lucky.**_

_"Did someone stop by the accident to help? I think I remember..." She trailed off, not really knowing what she remembered._

_"No one told you?" She asked her in shock. "There was a young man. You- the paramedics said that you wouldn't have made it without him. Apparently he climbed most of the way into the SUV and slowed down the bleeding in your stomach."_

_"D-did you get his name?" He didn't know that should would have rather died. He sounded damn heroic, and they should send him flowers._

_Melissa shook her head sadly. "Mom wanted to give him some kind of reward, but apparently he ran off as soon as you were loaded into the ambulance."_

_She closed her eyes and thought of the blue eyed boy that saved her. All she knew was how his hands felt and the blue of his eyes. And for now that was enough. She couldn't ever imagine being grateful that he saved her, but she **was **damn grateful that there were people like him in the world._

"You see," she whispered. Talking in her normal tone felt both wrong and impossible at the moment. "Please tell me you see it. You saved me Toby. Not only did you physically save my life, but you saved me emotionally too. In my absolute darkest moments your words ran through my head like a broken record. Don't die. Please don't die. It'll get better, I promise. You won't be sad forever. Whenever I would wish that I was dead your words were what came to mind."

He looked at her again, tears swimming in the blue eyes that had starred in her most peaceful dreams. The dreams that didn't involved Aria dying a gruesome death before her eyes all involved those eyes. "I- I just- I don't know where I'd be without you. **_Thank you."_**

She couldn't stand it anymore. She had to be connected to him. Without any prior warning she threw herself at him again, but this time her lips collided with his; she put a hand on the back of his head and kissed him feverishly, their tears mixing together; their arms tangled in an urgent embrace.

From the first moment that she met Toby Cavanaugh she knew that he was a good guy. The more they talked, the more she got to know him, the more beautiful he became. There was nothing but good inside of him, of that much she was absolutely certain. This was fate. She hadn't ever believed in any form of predestination, but what else could this be? Whatever it was, now that she had him she knew that she was never letting him go. Now she knew what he meant. Had she died she would have missed all of this. She would have missed the incredible group of friends that she was developing, and she never would have met Toby. For the first time since Aria died she could honestly say that she was happy to be alive.


	11. Chapter 11

**When I originally outlined this story I anticipated that it would be about 12 chapters. But I do have more ideas, so I could theoretically stretch it out much longer. Do you guys have a preference? Would you rather I wrap this up or extend it with the other ideas that I have? I am stuck in a hotel room tonight and bored out of my mind. So you can thank THAT fact for this crazy fast update.**

**I know I should have updated Unchained Melody first, but I was inspired for this story thanks to your INCREDIBLE AMAZING feedback. Please review and let me know what you think about this chapter and whether I should wrap this up or extend it! If I extend it there WILL be more drama. Keep that in mind while you make your choice.**

**I seriously can't thank you guys enough for your incredible response to this story. Your reviews last chapter made me so happy! I love you all so much!**

**If you were curious, next chapter moves on from the party, finally!**

Chapter 11

SPOV

She knew it was too soon. She knew that it was irrational. But as she sat on her bed, wrapped up in Toby's arms she was sure that he loved him. She wouldn't tell him. Not until she was absolutely positive. But deep down she knew that it was true.

His arms represented safety. They made her feel like nothing could ever hurt her, not even her own detrimental thoughts. She felt comfortable. She felt like she was finally home.

He ducked down and brushed his soft lips against the tender skin of her cheeks, kissing her tears away with his healing touch. "Toby," she whispered. She didn't necessary have anything to say. She just liked the way that his name sounded as it slipped through her lips. It was though her mouth had never formed a more perfect combination of sounds.

At her voice he straightened back up to his full height and gently pressed his forehead against hers, rubbing their noses together in the lightest of pressure. "That- it was a lot, Spence. Are you alright?"

She honestly couldn't think of a time in recent memory that she had been better. She felt like herself again. It was still hard. The burden of Aria's death of still so great. Bad days would come and go. But right here in this moment she felt nothing but genuine relief. It was like a part of her that was missing had come back to her in full force. It was like everything was coming full circle. Toby kept her alive when it seemed like she had no chance of survival, and now he was bringing her back emotionally as well. "I'm perfect. And as much as I would like to stay up here with you, we need to go back down there."

"Why?" He murmured, unconcerned as he dropped another kiss to her slightly parted lips.

An uncharacteristic giggle was her response. "First, it's Hanna's birthday. We can't spend it in my room kissing. But even more than that, you looked like you were going to puke before we came up here. They'll worry."

He pulled away reluctantly and brushed a careful hand over her cheeks, wiping away the final vestiges of her tears. His gentleness caused emotion to swell up in her throat. "Why did you look so scared?"

His eyes met hers, and a small moment of pain flashed through them. "It's just- talking about Aria brings up bad memories for you. And I didn't want you to associate me with that."

"It did hurt at first," she admitted reluctantly. "But the more I think about it the more I realize that Aria would love you."

"Really?" His eyes were filled with absurd amounts of hope. Did he really think that she would lie to him about this? More than that, was there anyone in the world that didn't love him? He was kind, sweet, gentle, and just an all around incredible person.

She nodded, her smile growing as she began to feel slightly overwhelmed by the memories.

_"I read in Cosmo that you should make a list of all the qualities you want in a guy," Spencer offered from her sprawled out position at the foot of Aria's bed. "It will help you not make stupid relationship decisions."_

_"No! That's boring. I have a better idea," a wicked smile spread across her lips._

_Sometimes when Aria got that kind of look on her face it was because she had a brilliant idea. Other times it was because she had an idea that was purely designed to make Spencer's life hell. She thought back to the time they went skinny dipping with a pronounced shudder. "I don't know if I want to ask."_

_"No, this is one of the good ones," she laughed and sat up. She jumped off the bed and immediately began to rifle through her school bag. "I'll make a list of qualities that the perfect guy for you would have, and you do the same for me. It'll be more interesting that way, because you never see yourself clearly, Spence. Besides, any guy that either of us date need the best friend's approval. That's a given, duh."_

_She rolled her eyes at the casual mention of their ongoing battle. Aria insisted that Spencer was pretty, while Spencer maintained that she was simply average looking. Guys don't come lining up at your door because you can recite the preamble to the Constitution from memory or because you had the box collection of all the classic seasons of Doctor Who organized by preference. No, they came because they found you attractive, and Spencer had virtually zero sex appeal. Her chances of ever finding a boyfriend were zero. "Fine."_

_She took a piece of paper and a pen and began listing all the qualities that she knew that Aria would want in a guy. He had to be smart, semi-attractive, taller than her (which admittedly wasn't difficult), artistic, etc. The longer she spent with the list the more amused she became by the whole process._

_"Are you ready?" Aria asked from her spot leaning against the headboard._

_Spencer nodded and pulled herself up into a sitting position. She was about to volunteer to go first, but Aria immediately cut her off. "Let me go first!" She demanded._

_She shrugged and smiled happily, eager to hear what Aria had to say. "Well, first of all you need someone strong. Because you fall down a lot, you clumsy idiot," she smiled so that Spencer knew that she was saying it in love._

_"And you need someone caring. Because as much as you like to try to hide it you're a sensitive soul. You need someone who doesn't just accept that, but that also embraces it."_

_Not for the first time she was struck by just how well Aria knew her. The girl smirked at Spencer's silence and continued onward. "You need to find a guy who isn't afraid to show you how much he loves you. I know that you love your family, but they haven't left you with a great example of interpersonal relationships. But there is someone out there who will love you for exactly who you are. They'll love you unfailingly and without compromise, and that's who you have to wait for."_

"Everything she said, every _single thing she said, _describes you. Everything. I just- I don't even know. Aria would love you because you're exactly the kind of guy that she wanted me to end up with." Talking about Aria left an empty kind of feeling in her chest. But it wasn't painful. It was just gone. Aria would always have a place in her heart, it was a place that would never fill. But that didn't mean that she couldn't love with what was left.

Toby just looked at her, his eyes welling up with tears for the second time during the course of their emotional discussion. "We need to go downstairs or else I'm going cry or just kiss you again. Neither would be exactly contrary to my desires, but you're right. It's Hanna's birthday."

"Spencer! Toby!"

"Speak of the devil," she laughed and stood up. She held a hand out to help him up. He took it, but pulled himself up without burdening her at all. She really might have to print off a copy of the feminist handbook for him.

She was going to lead him out the door, but she couldn't help herself. She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him into another tight hug. "Thank you," she murmured again, pressing her face into the calming warmth of his neck. "I just-" she felt like there was so much more that she wanted to tell him, that she needed to tell him, but she couldn't find the words. She owed him so much; her sanity, her emotional well-being, her _life. _

"I'm so glad you're here," he murmured, kissing the top her head before leading her out the door and down the stairs.

Before she had a chance to say anything to anyone Emily grasped her upper arm and pulled her away from Toby and into the hallway. "What was that?"

"He- Oh God, Em. He was there." Even mentioning that felt like an invasion of privacy. It was such a private thing between the two of them, but it really wasn't.

"What are you-" she began, but her face colored in shock as she understood what she was saying. "_Toby_?! Toby was the one who stopped?"

She nodded, a single tear running down her cheek. "He saved my life. I'd be dead if it weren't for him."

Emily pulled Spencer into a hug, carefully rocking her back and forth. "Oh my God. Oh my God, are you alright?"

She pulled Emily tighter, drawing comfort from her cousin's steady presence. Emily was so kind, so stable. "I am," she pulled away so that Emily could see her smile. "I just don't even know how to describe it. It's like, there's still a hole where Aria was, but this revelation filled another hole. Toby- he's just-"

"I know," she nodded with a soft smile. "There's something really special about him."

The cousins linked arms and walked back into the living room with everyone else. Emily immediately released her and walked over to Toby and threw herself into his arms. He looked shocked for a moment, but he managed to keep his balance and return the hug. She could see how close the two of them were just based on the way they interacted with each other, but this was different. She could hear Emily quietly talking to him, but she couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Spencer, what's going on?"

She turned to Hanna, hesitating. "I don't um- I don't really want to talk about it. Toby and I just figured out a connection that we had."

"Okay!" Hanna looked like she wanted to say more, but she obviously wasn't one to pry. "Will you come be on my team for Scrabble? Caleb challenged me, and I can't refuse a challenge. But I suck, and he never said that I couldn't grab a friend."

**Friend**. Sometimes she worried that Emily was only nice to her because of what she knew about her situation. It was absurd because they were very close even before, but it was still a worry despite how irrational it was. But Hanna knew nothing about her past. She knew that Aria died, but that was it. She didn't know that she was there as well. She didn't know how deeply her guilt ran. She didn't know that she almost died herself. The fact that Hanna considered her to be a friend meant more than she could possibly express to the girl. "Hanna..."

Hanna stopped and turned to her questioningly. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to thank you." She replied sincerely. "You didn't have to accept me. I know I was weird and kind of annoying when I first got here, but you looked past all that and got to know the real me. So thank you."

"You're so great, Spence. I know that you're sad, but you're still so great. That day of the prank elevated you to rock star status in my eyes. You'll always be my number one prankster." Hanna shot her one last smile and skipped over to the couch, patting the seat next to her.

"Wait! No, you can't invite the human dictionary," Caleb protested when Spencer sat down in her designated position.

"Um, you didn't say that until now. No arbitrary rule making, Caleb!" Hanna replied seriously, showcasing an impressive use of the word arbitrary.

He sighed and placed down the word apricot. Not a bad word, all things considered. She watched the two of them fling sass and moderately impressive words at each other for about ten minutes. Hanna nearly never asked for her help. The girl was much more intelligent than she gave herself credit for. It was in that moment she was hit with a brilliant idea. She quickly excused herself and walked into the kitchen, digging through drawers until she found the appropriate key. Once she found it she snagged it out of the overcrowded junk drawer and headed back into the living room. "Han."

Hanna paused from her placement of tiles on the game board. She flashed Spencer a grin. "I've never won before! I think you're my lucky charm."

"Maybe you should sit on this side, Spencer," Caleb chuckled and indicated the spot next to him with his head.

"I actually have a small present for you, Hanna," she interjected before it could escalate into a full blown battle of wit. She pressed the key into Hanna's outstretched hand. "My family has a lake house up in Buck's County. We never use it this time of year. I thought you might want to borrow it for a weekend. You could maybe have some alone time with a certain individual..." she suggested, glancing at Caleb in a way that was supposed to appear falsely conspiratory.

Hanna glanced down at the key in shock before looking back up at Spencer with an even bigger grin. "Spencer! Oh my God this is the best present I've ever gotten! Thank you!"

She seriously doubted that Hanna hadn't gotten a better present, but that didn't stop the warm feeling of joy from spreading through her whole body. She never thought that she could be this happy again. It wasn't just Toby. It wasn't just the acceptance of the people in this room. It was something more than that. They were the cause, but the effects were as equally valuable. It felt good to be kind. It felt good to be selfless, and it felt good to go out of your way to make someone else happy. Things were changing quickly, and she had a feeling that it was going to be for the better.


	12. Chapter 12

**Well, last chapter got way less reviews than the others, but everyone told me to continue? Haha talk about mixed signals! But I will continue, because the more I thought about my other ideas the more excited I got about them. I'll always tell a story if I have one to be told! **

**I kind of like this chapter, and I hope you guys too! Please, please, please review and let me know what you think. It's the only way I know whether or not you're enjoying this! THANK YOU!**

Chapter 12

SPOV

Spencer dodged her way through the cafeteria, narrowly avoiding being forced to wear her lunch as she jumped out of the way of a stumbling football player. She glanced back at him in disgust. Jocks were idiots.

She approached the table full of her friends with a soft smile. A month ago she wouldn't have thought that it was possible for her to feel excitement at the possibility of socializing. But she was. She just was. The days following the reveal of the fact that Toby was the one who saved her life were extremely emotional. She went happy to distraught to energetic so quickly that it scarcely made sense to herself, let alone anyone else. But Toby never wavered. He held her during her break downs. He indulged her more ridiculous schemes, and he encouraged her joy in her happier moments.

For the most part, she was happier than she ever remembered being. But there was a small part of her that sent a steady stream of reminders through her brain that this was too good to last. Nothing this good lasts forever. Aria Montgomery was living proof of that. She knew that Toby and her were moving very quickly, but it seemed right. They had an undeniable connection. Neither of them were exactly grateful for the situation that brought them together, but they were grateful that they were able to find each other again.

"-come with me, please?!"

She slid in between Maya and Toby and glanced questioningly at Hanna, having arrived in the middle of her sentence. "Spencer! You're cool. You'll come with me, right?"

"Come with you where?" She asked warily. She had only known Hanna for a little over a month, but it was clear to her that agreeing to go somewhere with her without first knowing where they were going was a recipe for disaster. They were liable to end up in Canada or a strip club.

"My mom is out of town, and I can't cook at all. I was hoping that some of my best friends in the world would love me enough to come eat delicious food at the Grille with me. I'd even consider paying if those certain individuals were nice to me." She flashed her big, puppy-dog eyes in Spencer's direction.

It was unnecessary, because she had planned on ordering food anyway. Her parents were out of town being lawyers, and they always left her with some money so that she didn't have to cook. "Yeah that's fine. I'll join you."

Hanna let out an overly loud whoop in victory, drawing attention from the surrounding tables, but she was either unconcerned or oblivious. "Forget the rest of you! Spencer is definitely my new bestie."

"I suppose I can make time in my busy schedule," Emily sighed dramatically, as though it was a complete hardship. "But only if you buy me a giant plate of cheese fries."

"Deal," Hanna cheered, scanning the other three. "Now, are you really going to refuse a dinner with three beautiful ladies?"

"I'm in," Toby said simply, dropping a kiss to the side of Spencer's head. She couldn't stop her smile from growing as she grabbed his hand, carefully lacing their fingers together.

"You guys are too cute. It's kind of disgusting," Hanna laughed and looked at Caleb with a eyebrow raised.

He wrinkled his nose, "I can't. I have a meeting with my social worker. Trust me, I'd rather go with you guys."

"I suppose that's an acceptable excuse. Maya?" All eyes swiveled to Maya.

She smirked and shook her head. "I have jazz band. Eat a big, juicy cheeseburger for me."

"On it," Hanna nodded seriously, as though she was really going to try to fit another burger into her flat stomach. "So, I was thinking that maybe we should do something over Christmas break."

"What do you mean?" Emily asked as she took a bite of her banana. "We always hang out over break."

"No, I mean something special. We've all been so busy lately, and I think we need some time together to just have fun."

Spencer glanced up from her salad, "Um, well we could use my lake house."

Caleb coughed, chocking on his sandwich. "Holy shit, yes. Then maybe Hanna and I can make some more memories on that cozy little couch."

She didn't immediately understand his implication, but as soon as she did she wrinkled her nose in disgust. "That was my nana's couch!"

"Yeah," Hanna interjected, without missing a beat. "Well, don't look at it as us violating the spirit of your nana's couch. Look at it as us showing it some of the action that it so obviously missed! Your nana and your grandpa would be proud! Like, think about it. Maybe your dad was conceived on that couch."

"Oh ew. Ew, ew, ew, Hanna!" She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to erase that disgusting thought from her mind. "Oh my God, scarred for life."

"What?!" She asked innocently. "I've seen your dad. He's hot for an old man!"

"Excuse you!" Caleb threw a balled up napkin at his girlfriend and laughed as it bounced off of her forehead.

Spencer shook her head in disgust. "Just when I thought that you couldn't make it worse..."

"Watch out, Spence. If you aren't careful Hanna might end up being your new mom." Maya interjected innocently.

"Oh God, it's officially time for a subject change, because the thought of Aunt Hanna is too much," Emily said as she pushed her full tray away from her. "But I do like the idea of going up to the lake house over Christmas. It's beautiful up there. Especially with snow."

"Then it's settled. You silent ones just have to deal with it," Hanna laughed her eyes moving between Toby and Maya.

"No arguments here," Toby's voice was amused as he began to slowly rub out a circle on the back of her hand. "It'll be fun."

"I'm down," Maya nodded in Emily's direction with a smile. "Maybe we can take a turn on this couch of love."

"Oh my God, if I catch anyone doing the nasty on my nana's couch I'm going to freak out!" She was laughing because it was both true and outrageously hilarious in equal measure.

Before anyone had a chance to respond to Spencer's warning the bell rang and they dispersed throughout the school for their afternoon classes. Not for the first time was she glad that she and Toby had class together immediately after lunch. She never wanted to leave him so quickly. "Did we have homework?" She asked him, suddenly realizing that she hadn't done anything the night before.

Well, she had done _something_ the night before. Her mind wondered back to the time she had spent with Toby. In the past she enjoyed having her parents leave because she could sit in her room and listen to depressing music without anyone making her feel guilty. But now? Now she enjoyed it for a totally different reason. She remembered the feeling of his lips against hers and and his strong arms around her, and it was all that she could do not to blush.

"I don't know," he supplied. "I was a bit distracted last night." A happy smile spread across his face as he obviously remembered their little rendezvous last night.

"Oh really? Did you get up to anything special?" She had never been one to play coy before, but it was kind of fun.

"I just spent some time with this pretty awesome girl. I think it might be something serious."

"Oh really?" She repeated herself, her smile only growing. "Sounds like she's a real lucky girl."

He pulled Spencer's lab chair out for her and slid around her as she settled in. "I think that I'm the lucky one. So about this dinner..."

"Yes?" She chuckled, wondering where he was going with this.

"Well, it got me thinking. And I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do this with just the two of us at some point?" A light blush erupted across his cheeks. He was adorable.

Her eyes lit up when she finally comprehended what he meant. "You mean like a date?"

_"George Stevens asked me out," Spencer declared as she flopped backward onto the bed and covered her eyes with one of Aria's fluffy purple pillows._

_"Is that a bad thing?" Aria laughed. Spencer felt the bed sink down a bit as Aria joined her on the mattress._

_"No! He's cute and sweet. I doubt that it will go anywhere long term, but I don't know, it could be fun. I'm just nervous."_

_Aria laughed again, and the bed shifted as she sat up. "I went on a date with Alex Jones last month. Let me give you some advice, grasshopper."_

_When Aria got in her Karate Kid, sage advice kind of moods it usually ended up in amusement. She sat up and leaned against the headboard, pulling the pillow to her chest. She nodded in her best friend's direction, giving her the go ahead to continue._

_"Well, make sure that you shave your legs, you hairy freak." _

_She gasped and immediately threw the pillow at Aria's face. "You are literally the worst friend in the world," she laughed and grabbed another pillow, feeling more secure while holding it against her. _

_Aria smirked more widely before continuing. "Okay, and make sure that you don't put out before he buys you dessert."_

_She laughed, finally seeing that that was Aria's end goal. She could always see exactly what she needed, which is why she felt comfortable enough to tell her why she was really nervous. "I just- I'm not- I'm not pretty, Aria. He could do so much better than me."_

_"Hey!" She sat up more straight and leaned across the bed to grab one of Spencer's hands. "Stop that. You are gorgeous, smart, loyal, an amazing friend, and one of the best people that I know. It's pretty much like a tragedy or something that you can't see that. But there isn't anyone better than you Spencer Hastings."_

"Spencer, you're killing me!" His quiet voice murmured to her right as the teacher began to talk.

It was a distinct credit toward who Toby was that she wasn't worried about her appearance. She knew that he could do better than her, but while she was with him he made her feel like the most beautiful, important person in the world. It was like her insecurities didn't quite matter as much. "Sure," she smiled and pulled out her notebook.

The rest of biology, and the rest of the day for that matter, flew by like basically any other mundane day in high school. Before she knew it she was walking into the double doors of the Applerose Grille with Toby, Hanna, and Emily.

"I am literally starving." Hanna flopped down on her seat and began to dramatically fan her face.

"Do you get sweaty when you get hungry?" Emily asked her in mock concern. She turned to Spencer with a smile. "That sounds like Uncle Bob and his hunger sweats."

Spencer nodded eagerly. "Maybe you should ditch Caleb, Han. We can hook you up with Uncle Bob. His beer belly will grow on you. He got divorced last year, so he could really use so of your Marin charm."

"See if I share any of my massive pile of cheese fries with any of you bitches," she laughed and held her fist out to Toby for him to bump. He looked at it quizzically, like he didn't know what to do. Hanna sighed, as dramatically as ever, grabbed his wrist and bumped his fist against hers. "More fries for Toby and I."

Spencer shot him a look, but he shrugged helplessly. "Two things. First, I'm never going to refuse free food. And two, I'm starting to think I should have pushed harder for Caleb to come. This is a little too much femininity for me."

"Aw, Toby," Hanna chuckled, pulling herself up to a more acceptable position. "You're like living the dream. Dinner with three very attractive girls."

"Yes. One of which I'm already dating, one who's in a committed relationship, and one who is also in a committed relationship **and** gay." He rolled his eyes and took a bite of the complementary bread. Those restaurants that gave out free bread were the best kind of restaurants. She really enjoyed her carbs.

"Eh, no one else knows that. Every other guy in this place is just thinking that you have three hot dates."

"Spencer?"

She immediately froze when she recognized the voice of the last person on Earth that she wanted to see. After a moment she regained the ability to move her head and turned around to face her. "Mona."

_"Everyone go run and hide. If she's going to kill her best friend then who knows who she'll attack next!" She didn't have to look to know that was Mona Vanderwaal. They had been friends at one time, but not now. Nothing was the same any more. Everything good in her life went away the day that she lost Aria._

_She could hear the laughter as she ducked into the bathroom and locked the stall behind her. She sat on the toilet seat and pulled her legs up to herself and tightly wrapped her arms around her legs. The tears came fast and heavy, and the sobs rocked through her entire body. Was this her life now? Would she have to resort to hiding in the bathroom to get away from the torment? She knew it was her fault. God, did she ever know it. And she deserved this. She knew that she did. But that didn't make it any easier._

_She flinched as the door slammed open and harsh footsteps smacked across the tiled floors. "Spencer, we know you're in here." Mona's words were punctuated by the cruel giggling of her idiotic companions. People who she used to call friends._

_"You're dangerous. Gretchen said that she saw the accident. She said that she saw you screaming at Aria, and that you turned the wheel hard enough to cause the car to flip over. You're psychotic. She was your **best friend.**"_

_"Just go home, Spencer. No one wants you here."_

_Noises of agreement came from all of the girls, and Spencer buried her face in her knees. She covered each of her ears with her hands to try to block out their voices, but it wasn't working._

_"God, poor Aria! She trusted you." Mona's voice was turning more and more cruel the longer she kept this torment up. "Maybe you should have just killed yourself too. You would have done us all a favor."_

_Doesn't she realize how much she wishes she were dead? Every single day, **every single day**, she wished that she was dead instead of Aria. Aria was bright. She was loving, kind, and loyal. She had a wonderful future ahead of her, and Spencer ripped it away. She stole it. She wished she were dead. She wished that she had never walked out of the car. She wished that the person who saved her had been able to save Aria instead. God, she wished it so much._

_The bell rang, and the voices left, but there was no way that Spencer was going to be able to leave right now. Not only was she crying, but she was on the verge of a full on panic attack. Aria. Oh Aria, God, she wished that it had happened differently. She wished that it would have been her. She wished that she were dead. This wasn't living. This wasn't a life **worth **living._

"Spencer?"

She flinched away when she felt hands on her shoulders, but the hands persisted, pulling her closer to them. "Spence, it's just me. Breath."

Toby. She took a short, shallow breath, trying to calm herself down. Toby wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't. He couldn't. It was fine. She was fine.

"Spencer?" She blinked a few times until her breathing finally evened out. She could hear Hanna's annoyed voice talking to Mona, but she couldn't focus on that right now. Not if she wanted to keep calm. Don't run. She needed to focus every ounce of her energy to keep calm and trying not run out that door. If she were thinking more clearly she would see just how remarkable of progress this showed, because even a few weeks ago she would have sprinted away at the sound of Mona's voice.

"I- I'm okay," she muttered, turning back to Mona. The harsh look on the girls face caused her to flinch away slightly. "Mona, how are you?"

Mona looked like she was going to respond, but instead she smirked over Spencer's shoulder. "Hey baby!"

"Hey." Another voice she recognized, but this one caused pain rather than panic.

She waited until she saw him for sure, wanting to ensure that it was who she thought she was before she reacted. But it was. It was him. It was everything that she could do to stay in her seat as the boy, who was much taller than she remembered, wound his arms around Mona's shoulders. "Mike?" She whispered, her voice barely louder than a breath of air.

But apparently it was loud enough. He looked down at her in shock, a brief flash of sorrow appearing in his eyes. The eyes that were so like his sister's. That sorrow was enough to bring her to her knees, but what she did know was that she couldn't stay in the Grille; not anymore. She was going to break down, and it couldn't be in front of her friends. Especially not Hanna, who had to be so confused right now.

"I- I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Spencer, wait-" Mike began, but she couldn't bear it. She couldn't listen to him accuse her of killing his sister, because that would send her back into her depression, she was sure of it. She knew it was her fault, but to hear the people who were once as good as her family accuse her of it would be too much.

She shook her head and stood up, running out the front doors of the Grille and down the street. She wasn't going to stop, but she was crying so hard that she couldn't see where she was going. She knew that the park that Toby and she had talked at the first time she confided in him was directly across the street, so she headed in that direction until she came across a bench. She perched on the edge, and curled up into a ball, pressing her face against the tops of her thighs. She mostly just wanted to cut off the outside world until she had a better control over her emotions.

"Spencer-"

She didn't want him to see her like this. He had comforted her more times than she cared to admit, and she wished that she could be strong. But he knew what he was getting in to when he chose her. She warned him, and he told her that he could handle it. And God, she hoped that he was right, because she was too invested. It would destroy her if he left her now.

Toby sat down on the bench next to her, and with slow, careful hands he pulled her closer to him. He tucked her small body into his side and began to gently brush his hand over her hair. She didn't know how long they sat there like that, but she finally began to calm down. He alternated between pressing soft kisses to her hair and whispering sweet, supportive things into her ear.

"Thank you," she murmured after what felt like a long time.

"You don't have to thank me," he replied immediately. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"I don't know how I got by without you," she admitted just as softly. And it was true. Although what she was doing before she met Toby wasn't living. It was purely existing. It was laying around and waiting, praying, that something would happen to her so that she didn't have to go through this anymore. But he showed her that the world could be beautiful again. He shoulder her that life was worth living.

He turned her around to face him and kissed her again, but this wasn't the soft, comforting kisses that pervaded her memory of the time that had passed since they left the Grille. This kiss was filled with passion and urgency. It made her feel beautiful and cared for like nothing else ever had. He pulled away and just looked down at her for a moment, his hand cupping her face. "Who were those people? Mona is Alison's cousin, right? The one who bullied you after Aria died?"

She nodded, brushing away the vestiges of tears. "And Mike was Aria's brother."

He pressed his lips together, looking like he wanted to say more, but he decided against it. "Do you want to go back in there? Mike and Mona left after Hanna called Mona a tacky midget who needed to get the hell out of her sight before she kicked her ass for making you cry."

Spencer barked out a laugh, shocked by the lengths that Hanna would go to even when she hadn't shared the details of her past with her. Maybe she'd have to change that. "Yeah, let's do it. Do I look terrible?"

He looked pleased by her agreement, and his eyes softened at her question. "You look beautiful," he replied immediately, pulling her into one last kiss.

She was struck by how much had changed as they walked into the restaurant and took a seat next to their friends. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had happened, but she knew without a shadow of a doubt that in the past she wouldn't have let Toby comfort her. She wouldn't have recovered so quickly from seeing either Mike or Mona, let alone the both of them at once, and she certainly wouldn't have gone back into the Grille after having a breakdown. Things were looking up.


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, so I dropped from 11 reviews in chapter 11 to 4 reviews for chapter 12. If that trend keeps up I'll probably end up ending this sooner rather than later, because I really don't want to spend my time writing something that no one's reading! Especially because I have about a million ideas swimming through my head. So if you're reading this PLEASE review. Just let me know what you think. I don't say this to be mean or black mail or whatever! I really just want to focus my time on other things if you guys aren't enjoying this one any more :). So please let me know!**

**That being said, this is one of my favorites. And it's much lighter. I LOVE writing from Hanna's POV because I am seriously so much like her. It's just easy for me. Swear to God, I'm the perfect mix between Spencer and Hanna. I don't even know how that's possible. Wait, does that make me Mona!? LOL I'll take it!**

Chapter 13

HPOV

Yesterday at the Grille was just weird. Spencer was being weird. Toby was being weird. Emily was being weird. That twitchy little Mona bitch was being weird, although granted she didn't know her. Everyone was just being weird. She didn't need answers because it was none of her business. But what she did want to do was help. She hadn't known Spencer long, but she already loved the crazy girl to the moon and back. If she could do anything to help she would do it.

Emily and Toby clearly knew what was going on, which made sense. Going to them was pointless, and they would probably tell her to stay out of it. All she wanted to do was cheer her up. So she would enlist Maya and Caleb. Caleb would do whatever she wanted him to do because he was kind of the best boyfriend ever, and Maya was always up for something ridiculous.

As she stalked through the hallways of Rosewood High School she kept an eye out for her intended targets. She knew that Emily had swim practice and that Toby had left school early for a doctor's appointment. So it was just Spencer that she was currently avoiding.

Apparently she was doing a poor job of scanning the hallway for her friends because she literally ran into Caleb. He chuckled as his arms steadied her. "I've heard of falling for someone, but this is a little ridiculous, Han."

"Shut up," she laughed and smacked his chest. She would have thanked him, but that would have been weird. They showed their affection for each other through sass and ridiculous mannerisms. Emotion was reserved for the most dire of situations. "Come on, we're on a mission!"

"Oh, okay. Care to describe what we're hoping to accomplish?"

This was reason five million on the infinite list of why she loved Caleb. He was always willing to indulge in her more ridiculous schemes. She intertwined their fingers together and led him down the hallway. "I'm calling it Operation Cheer Spencer Up!"

"She did seem sad," he replied, wrinkling his nose. "Okay! What's step one?"

"Finding you was step one! Now we find Maya!"

Caleb laughed and pulled her in completely different direction. She started to protest until she saw Maya standing by her locker. "Oh, I didn't even think to look there."

"You're better at the plan than the implementation," he remarked.

She ignored his rude remark and released his hand. "Maya! Are you ready to be secret agents?"

"Um hell yeah!" She flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned around with a grin. "But like, why? What are we doing?"

"Making Spencer happy again, duh." Why was this not obvious?

"Oh, right. That girl had a gloomy little rain cloud hovering over her head all day. What's the plan?" She grabbed her bag and the three of them walked together outside.

"Can we take your van, Maya? It just feels more secret agent-like, right?" She wasn't sure, but it definitely felt sneakier than driving around in either her's or Caleb's vehicles.

"Um, only of course. I constantly feel like a ninja when I drive my massive purple van around town." She hit the unlock button and the three of them hopped inside. "Now what?" Maya asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"We find Spencer! And when we do we be outrageously cheerful and ridiculous. I don't know what's going on with her, but we're absolutely going to make it impossible for her to be sad." Spencer was way too bad ass to be so sad. She was going to cheer her up whether she liked it or not.

"There she is!" Caleb pointed at Spencer on the side of the road. His finder abilities were really on point tonight. Clearly he would be a Hufflepuff if he were at Hogwarts.

Maya directly her overly large van next to Spencer, and Hanna couldn't help but chuckle at the alarmed look on Spencer's face. Apparently she had never seen the purple monster before. "Spencer get in the van!"

"Hurry up!" Maya added with a laugh. "I'm going to get a ticket or rear ended if you don't haul some ass!"

A half smile appeared on the girl's gloomy face as she took refuge in the passenger seat. "Why do you drive a big, purple van?" She asked curiously, no judgement in her tone. Spencer was like that. In the short time that they've been friends Hanna had realized that Spencer was outrageously wealthy. She was pretty sure that Spencer could buy any thing that she wanted. But the remarkable thing was that she was still so down to earth. She had never caught even the smallest ounce of judgement coming from her, and that was just one of the reasons that Hanna was so determined to make her happy.

"Because my parents are hippies," Maya explained. "And apparently the trademark hippie vehicle is a big van. I painted it purple when I got it, because it used to be white. I can rock a purple van, but I don't want people to think I'm driving around town in a kidnapper van. Can you imagine? Like, hey kids, do you want some candy?"

"Oh my God, Maya," Caleb laughed. "Anyways, Han. What's the next stage of the plan?"

"What's even going on?" Spencer mumbled from the front seat. She was confused and it was adorable. Poor, sweet, innocent Spencer hasn't been inducted into the ways of the ninja yet. She'll learn fast.

"Patience grasshopper. I'm thinking ice cream."

"So do you want to go to Busy Bee?" Maya asked her.

Do none of her friends have any vision? "Uh no. Go to the grocery store."

"So, does someone want to let me know what's going on?" Spencer's voice was still sad, but she also had thrown in a splash of amusement. Good, their mission was off to a promising start.

"We never know, Spence. Hanna's a bit odd," Caleb explained.

"Excuse me!" She laughed and smacked his arm. "We're on a mission for awesome."

"Oh, okay..." Spencer trailed off as her phone beeped. A small smile brightened her entire face.

"Is that Toby?" Maya teased, pulling in to the parking lot.

"Um yeah, he wants to know where we are..."

"No! It's not a secret mission if everyone knows what's going on!" Besides, Toby would be cute and distract Spencer from Hanna's clever plan of cheer-uptitude. Was that a word? Well, it was now.

"Han, don't be such a dictator," Maya chuckled as she turned the van off. "You have your boyfriend, let the poor girl have hers."

"Fine," she sighed dramatically, as thought it cost her a lot. It totally didn't though. She supposed Toby was kind of alright. "Spencer, come with me. You losers hold down the fort. If you see any danger whistle three times."

"How will you hear us if you're in the store?" Caleb asked her with a smirk.

He thought he was so clever. "Call me, duh."

"So just to clarify," Maya began, "if there's trouble we should dig out our phones, and instead of asking for help when you pick up we should whistle?"

"See, Caleb! Maya understands!" They were making fun of her, but she didn't mind. Sometimes being ridiculous was the best way to cheer people up and to have fun. "Come on, Spencer."

She hopped out of the car and waited for Spencer to catch up to her. "Why so sad, love?" She decided that it would be fun to talk like a middle age British man for awhile. What's better than a British accent? The answer to that question is nothing.

Spencer laughed at her accent, but Hanna literally had no idea why. It was kind of the best accent in the world. She wouldn't be surprised if Ryan Seacrest popped up from behind the potato bin to give her some kind of award. "Yesterday was just a little rough."

"Was it that Mona bitch? I almost kicked her ass, but Emily stopped me. We could go find her find her after we get the ice cream, if you want? I've never beaten anyone up before, but I think that I could be kind of good at it."

She was immediately gratified by a smile on Spencer's face. That was what she had been going for, but she would also hunt down the Mona Monster if Spencer asked her too. "It was her, and no you don't have to beat her up. We just have- we just have a bit of a past from my old school."

Hanna nodded thoughtfully, but didn't question her further. If she wanted to share with her than she would, and until that moment it wasn't any of her business. "Okay, well what kind of ice cream do you like?"

For some reason she flinched slightly at the mention of ice cream. "Do you not like ice cream? Are you lack toast intolerant? Crap, I'm sorry I should have asked..."

Spencer just stared at her for a moment before dissolving into hysterical giggles. "I think you mean lactose intolerant."

"What the hell is lactose?" That didn't even make any sense. At least toast was a real thing. Sometimes she thought that Spencer might be making stuff up to sound smarter than she already was.

"It's this sugar that's found in milk. Some people can't digest it," she gasped out between her laughter. "And no, I love ice cream. Are we getting popsicles or what?"

"Oh, okay. That makes a lot more sense. I always wondered what milk and toast had in common." Number 683 on why Spencer was the best. She taught her new things, but she did it in a way that didn't make her feel embarrassed. She was actually happy that she could make her smile. "And no, geeze. I swear you guys are all lame. We need to get a big old gallon. Chocolate or vanilla?"

"What about vanilla, and then we can get some chocolate sauce?"

"You're so smart," she laughed and grabbed the gallon out of the freezer. "There's also the spoon dilemma."

"Oh, well, when Melissa and I were younger we used to eat ice cream with cookies. We could do that. I mean we might all be diabetic afterwards, but..."

"Perfect! Holy shit, Spencer why are you not just like writing a book full of awesome ideas. You could call it Spencer's Book of Spencerisms: Life Satisfaction Guaranteed." She was laughing, but she was also completely serious. This girl had a knack for the more awesome things in life. Hanna hated reading, but she would read that crap out of that.

"I'll keep that in mind if the whole college thing doesn't work out." She grabbed a couple kinds of cookies and turned toward the check out. "Are we ready to go?"

"Yup. We better get back before Caleb and Maya start making out in boredom or something." She didn't really expect that to happen, but you never know what could go down in Maya's purple monster love shack on wheels.

The food went down the conveyor belt, but as Hanna went to pull out her wallet Spencer stopped her. "Let me get it."

"You don't have-" she began, but Spencer immediately cut her off.

"I know, but I want too. I know what you're doing Hanna, and I really appreciate it. It's been a long time since I've had a friend as good as you." She looked away as she swiped her credit card, obviously embarrassed.

If she didn't think that it would send Spencer running she would have hugged it out, because that was basically the sweetest thing that anyone had ever told her. "I mean, my awesomeness is both a gift and a curse."

Spencer laughed and grabbed one of the bags. Hanna grabbed the other, and they walked together back to their den of spy-tastic awesomeness. Seriously, how did Maya have all the luck? What was better for secret agent activities than a massive purple van? It was so ostentatious and ridiculous that no one would ever suspect that the occupants were up to something shady.

She opened the door and saw that Toby had arrived and was occupying her previously vacated seat. "Oh, I want no part in this reunion," she laughed and slammed the door shut again. Spencer gave her a look and opened the door, crawling in next to Toby.

Hanna climbed into the front seat and over Caleb's lap to sit in the middle of the weird, bench seating. "Anyone notice how strangely gross and adorable those two are after only being together for a few weeks."

"Ah, to be young and in love," Maya declared in an airy French accent. At least someone appreciated her unofficial declaration of accent Wednesday. If she ever took over the world it would definitely be declared law. Maya dropped the accent and glanced over at Hanna as she pulled out onto the highway. "Where to next, boss?"

"I mean you guys totally have no vision. Come on now. Where else would we go other than the lake?" God, she loved her friends, but she really needed to invest in relationships with some masterminds of brilliance equal to her own.

"Let me get this straight," Caleb began incredulously, "It's ridiculous that we didn't realize the lake was the next logical step after kidnapping Spencer and buying our weight in sweets?"

"Yep!" She grinned and leaned over to kiss him. None of that lovey dovey stuff that was going on in the back seat. Public displays of affection are lame sauce. She just pecked him quickly so he remembered that he was basically the most awesome. If he wasn't she wouldn't be dating him. "Love you," she said softly. She was pretty sure that Maya heard her, but she had the decency to look away.

"I love you too. Even though you're the craziest person I know." He rolled his eyes and dropped another kiss to her lips.

She laughed and shook her head. "Pretty sure you love me _because _I'm the craziest person that you know."

The drive to the lake didn't take long, and not for the first time she was glad that Rosewood was such a small town. She didn't do well in confined spaces. Especially because she tended to have to pee a lot.

She leaned back and glanced at her friends, especially focusing on Spencer. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of her laughing, cuddling into Toby, and scooping ice cream out onto the cookies like they had just procured the last bucket of ice cream on the planet. She was looking much happier than she had earlier.

She smiled wider and leaned back on her arms with a satisfied sigh. Mission accomplished.


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter. _This chapter. _Just read it. Ahhhh so sweet.**

**Sidenote, I'm having an incredible urge to write a Spoby version of PS I Love You. Could someone talk me out of this PLEASE!? GAH idk I really might have to do it once I finish this story. Or Unchained Melody. Whatever comes first. Anyways, yeah. YES OR NO?**

**The next chapter is one of my favs. And you guys will get some answers you've been begging me for. So GET EXCITED.**

**Review, review, review! If you review you get your update faster :) LOVE YOU**

Chapter 14

SPOV

Have you ever felt so incredibly content? Like nothing was wrong, and that nothing could ever be wrong again? Ever since the day of Hanna's outrageous scheme she had honestly felt nothing but happy. That was the pervasive thought running through her mind as she laid sprawled out on her couch with Toby.

She had her legs flopped over his lap, and his head was resting on top of her's. Only it wasn't heavy at all. It was as though he wanted to be close to her, but that he also didn't want to burden her with any of his weight. One of his hands traced abstract designs on her back, leaving a trail of goosebumps in the wake of his capable fingers. It always amazing her how Toby managed to simultaneously treat her as though she were the most precious, fragile thing on the planet and as a strong woman.

"Are you still awake?"

Even the sound of his voice soothed her soul. It sounded cheesy, but it was true. She didn't care the circumstances. Just a single word from him was enough to change everything. "I am. But if you keep doing thing with your hand it might not last long."

He laughed, and she enjoyed the way that it shook his body and the vibrations that traveled through her own. He removed his hand from her back and slowly intertwined his fingers with hers. "Should we go do something?"

"I'm not sure that I ever want to move from this spot," she admitted. Just as she finished talking her stomach rumbled loudly. Red blush colored her cheeks, as there was absolutely no way that Toby hadn't heard that.

He chuckled again, nuzzling his nose to the top of her head. "Let's go get some food. We can come back and do nothing after that."

If she hadn't been fairly positive that her stomach was about to break science and digest itself she would have refused. "Let's just go get something quick. Then we can come back here and watch a movie."

"That actually sounds perfect." She allowed him to pull her to her feet and out the front door. The weather was unseasonably nice for late November. The sun beat down on her bare shoulders, the warmth hitting her body equal to the warmth in her soul.

When she transferred to the public school she hadn't expected this. She hadn't expected to find a boyfriend and a core group of friends that would change her entire outlook on life. She expected to be sad forever.

Toby opened the door to his truck for her like the perfect gentleman that he was. She watched him carefully as he walked around the truck and into the driver's seat. She was absolutely certain that he didn't realize how attractive he was. Even the way that he moved was enough to take her breath away.

When he climbed into the car he smiled silently at her and rolled the windows down. They chatted about meaningless things as they drove through every side street in Rosewood, not wanting this perfect moment to be over too soon.

After driving around for much longer than they should have Toby reluctantly pulled up in front of the Grille. "Food?"

"Food," she nodded in a agreement and hopped down out of his truck. She waited for him to meet her and they walked hand and hand into the building.

"Spence! Toby!"

She glanced behind them and saw Hanna and Caleb sitting by the window looking cozy. She smiled at them and glanced up at Toby who was just looking down to meet her gaze. "Go sit with them. I'll order our food. You still want a BLT?"

"Yep!" She smiled at him again and turned to take a seat next to her friends.

"So you're _hanging out_ with Toby today, Spence?" Hanna put extra emphasis on hanging out to imply that she definitely didn't mean hanging out.

"Yes, but when we say hanging out we actually mean hanging out, unlike you heathens. Clothes on, hand check, room for Jesus, the whole shebang." She laughed and shook her head at Hanna's suggestion. She didn't know what it was about these two, but they brought out her ridiculous side.

"Aw, Caleb I think we need to teach these two how to live," she nudged her boyfriend's shoulder and gestured to the plate of french fries on the table. "I'm stuffed, help yourself."

"Toby's getting food," she began, but the more she eyed the fries the more she wanted some. "But maybe one or two fries wouldn't hurt." She snagged a couple and dipped them in their ranch.

"You like ranch too? A girl after my own heart." Hanna laughed and leaned to the side to brush a quick kiss against Caleb's lips. "Spence, the four of us need to go on a double date."

"Oh, um-" Double dates were definitely not her scene. But she had never had a reason to go on them before. She had never had a boyfriend at the same time as Aria, and she never really had other friends that she was that close to. "Maybe? Ask Toby." She would put it off on him. If he wanted to go she wouldn't say no, but if he didn't want to go she was fine with it.

"Ask Toby what?" He asked as he slid into the seat next to her, sitting the bag full of food on the table between them.

"Double date. The four of us. Next weekend. I'm actually not really giving you a choice. You're coming." Hanna said flippantly and tossed her long hair over her shoulder. Spencer had to bite her lip to stop from laughing, because she hadn't really realized that people actually did that. But if any one in the world seemed like the right person to perfect a stereotypical hair flip it was Hanna Marin.

Toby glanced down at Spencer who shrugged. She really didn't mind either way. It was up to him. "I suppose we can make that. You know, if nothing better comes up." He yawned as though he were bored with the very idea.

"Gee thanks for slumming it with us," Caleb muttered sarcastically, snagging a handful of Hanna's fries for himself.

"Yeah, we can _hang out _without you," Hanna laughed and put the same emphasis on hanging out.

Toby turned to Spencer and shot her a questioning glance. She smiled and indulged his silent question. "When Hanna says hanging out she means doing dirty things."

Toby had the decency to blush. He really might be the most adorable person on the face of the planet. Hanna laughed at the red on his cheeks and glanced down at her watch. "Don't worry, Toby. We won't make you watch. But really, we need to get going. We have a movie to get too."

"Yeah, a gross, disgusting, girly chick flick. Toby, man say you'll come with us. I need some more testosterone to get me through this shit." Caleb looked like he was practically begging, which was also adorable. She couldn't help but laugh at her mental picture of his reaction if he heard her calling him adorable. _I'm not adorable, Spencer. I'm a man._

He glanced at her before shaking his head apologetically. "Sorry, we were just planning on bumming it at Spencer's."

"Yeah," she agreed with a smile. "Gross, disgusting, girl chick flicks aren't exactly my thing either."

Caleb eyed her speculatively. "You definitely got the better end of the girlfriend deal. Want to talk a trade?"

"Hey!" Hanna tried to give an offended gasp, but it mostly turned into a giggle. She smacked his chest and dragged him off toward the door. "Leaving now before you start making out with my friend."

"I think I'll keep her," Toby chuckled and laughed harder as Caleb waved his hand dismissively in their direction.

"I kind of like you too," she replied, leaning up on her tip toes to press a soft kiss to his mouth. He happily returned the kiss, but before they could get too intimate he pulled away.

"We should probably get out of here," he murmured with his lips still just millimeters away from her own.

She nodded, not taking her eyes off of his lips. He was so incredibly distracting. His allure was unparalleled, and the fact that he didn't seem to notice the effect that he had on her made him all the more attractive.

He led her out to his truck, but instead of driving back to her house he pulled off into the parking lot of an old logging factory. He stopped the engine and scooted across the seat, pulling her soundly to him. Their lips met passionately; the soft, innocent kisses in the Grille were forgotten as her hands roamed his body. She slid her hands underneath his shirt, the pads of her fingers running lightly over the bumps of his abdominal muscles. His calloused hands brushed over the smooth planes of her back, dancing along the edges of her bra strap, but never going further. Even when they were in the midst of a full on make out session he was nothing but respectful and the perfect gentleman.

Without warning she was overwhelmed with love for this boy. He helped her through the absolute worst moments in her life, literally saving her life. She would be dead without him. He showed her that she was worth something, that she d_eserved _to be happy. He held her through her tears, and he rejoiced with her through her victories. He laughed with her through the funny moments, and he wiped her tears away through the moments that she was overwhelmed with grief. There was no more doubt in her mind. She loved him._  
_

_"You need to break up with George."_

_Spencer glanced up at Aria in shock. "Why?"_

_"He failed the best friend test," she stated matter of factly. As though Spencer should know exactly what the best friend test was._

_"And that is...?" _

_"Spencer, I swear I have to explain everything to you," she sighed in mock annoyance. "I don't like him. He doesn't treat you right."_

_"He treats me just fine." She really had no idea where Aria was going with this. George was a perfectly acceptable boyfriend. _

_"Right. He treats you fine. But really? Fine is good enough for dinner. It's good enough for a grade on a test. Fine is acceptable when it comes to tv reception, and how your day was at school. But love? Love should be a lot more than fine."_

_Spencer closed her eyes as she mulled over Aria's impassioned speech. Maybe she was right? "But how do you know when you love someone?"_

_"I'm only 14, chica. I have no idea for sure. But I imagine that you'd know. It should be something that makes your toes curl from the passion. You shouldn't want to sleep because they're all that's running through your mind. You should be shocked every single time you see them because you just care about them more and more and more. Love should be a whole lot more than just fine."_

"Toby," she whispered, hiding her face in his neck. Suddenly she was embarrassed, but she knew that she couldn't hold it in any more. She had to tell him, because her heart was going to explode if she didn't. "I- I think that I love you."

His hands froze on her back, and the steady rise and fall of his shoulders halted. Oh God. Was it too soon? Should she have held it in and just risked the combustion of her heart?

His hands left her back and carefully found her face. He pulled her away so that he could look into her eyes. She avoided eye contact as long as possible, but when his hands never relented she reluctantly looked up. She was shocked to see nothing but acceptance in his blue eyes. "Spence, I love you too."

She grinned and lunged forward, attacking his lips with new vigor. He loved her. _He loved her. _And she loved him. She _loved _him. In that moment it felt like nothing could ever go wrong again.

Of course that didn't last for long. After _hanging out _for the better part of a half an hour they decided that they better get back to the Hastings house and eat their food before it got too cold. Of course, everything was different now. For the longest time even the brightest day seemed dull and dreary. But now the world was steep with a lazy kind of joy that she couldn't ever remember feeling. God, had she known how much going to Rosewood High School would change her life she wouldn't have been so apathetic about it. She would have sprinted head on into the double doors of the institution.

When they pulled up into the gate of her house she immediately saw that something was wrong.

"Whose car is that?" Toby looked down at her questioningly, but unconcerned until he saw the dread on her face. "Spence?"

She didn't reply. She just looked at the porch, and her thoughts were confirmed as her eyes were met with Mrs. Montgomery and Mike.


	15. Chapter 15

**This chapter is shorter, but I think that you'll like it :). OMG, guys if this chapter gets 6 reviews it will push me to having over 100 reviews for this story! YOU ARE ALL SO AMAZING! I'm so, so so so SO glad that you're liking this! I love you all, and I'm so glad for all of you!**

**Sidenote, I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow and I don't know what to do with it! It's about boob-length, massively curly, and brown! Any ideas!? I was just thinking some long layers, cause it lays kind of flat on top. But I'd love to do something really different!**

**I really want some sesame chicken, but I live in the middle of no where. No Chinese restaurants around here :(. But reviews will help out my chinese food craving. Just saying :) LOVE! Review, read, all of that good stuff!**

Chapter 15

SPOV

"Spencer, what's going on? Who is that?"

Toby's voice was growing panicked, and she couldn't blame him. She wasn't moving; hell, she wasn't even breathing. It was as though the world had stopped spinning. People were dying, babies were being born, people were falling in love, but it honestly felt like nothing else was happening in the world. Nothing but what was happening right here.

"Spencer," Toby repeated himself, his hand locking around hers.

"Aria's mom," she breathed.

His hand tightened around hers as he miraculously heard her words. "And that Mike kid from that night at the Grille, right?"

She nodded wordlessly. It was as though Mrs. Montgomery felt her eyes on her because she looked up. The moment of eye contact was like a punch to the gut. Spencer winced and immediately looked away.

"What do you want to do, Spence?" His thumb rubbed out a circle on the back of her hand, obviously trying to provide some kind of comfort. "I know it's hard, but maybe you should talk to them. Whatever they have to say can't be as you're imagining. And either way you'll know what they think."

"I- You're right, but I- don't know if I can." She looked back up and realized that Mrs. Montgomery was still staring at her. She could see the hurt in her eyes, but she didn't seem angry.

"Then we can leave. Whatever you need, okay?" There was no accusation in Toby's voice. She turned to look at him, and all she saw in his face was acceptance. That acceptance was what she needed. She needed to see that he'd support her no matter what before doing this.

"No, you're right. I need to talk to them. I'm never going to be able to truly move forward until I, at least, apologize to them. They deserve to know just how sorry I am." Her words were unsure, but the more she spoke the more sure she became. This was right.

"Do you want me to go so you can talk?"

She grabbed his hand like he was going to just drive off without waiting for an answer. "I need you."

"Alright, alright," he murmured soothingly. He bent down to press a soft kiss to her forehead before reach across and opening her door for her. "No matter what they say, everything will be fine. I promise, okay? This won't break you."

She really loved him, and she didn't know where she'd be without him. Probably still lost in the hole of depression. Either way, the progress she had made since meeting him was incredible. Because she knew without any doubt that even a few weeks ago that she wouldn't have even considered talking to anyone related to Aria. But now? She was really doing this.

"Mrs. Montgomery." Spencer hated how weak her voice sounded, but under the circumstances she knew that it was okay.

"Spencer," There was a degree of sadness to the woman's voice that she had only heard a few times.

_"Spencer, can I talk to you for a second?"_

_Parent teacher conferences were never her favorite scene, but today she was in a wonderful mood. Partially it was because her parents actually showed up. She turned around at the sound of her best friend's mom's voice, but her smile immediately slid off of her face at the distressed look on Mrs. Montgomery's typically cheerful face. "What's wrong?"_

_The older woman pulled her out into the hallway before she began speaking. "I just wanted to let you know that my mother died last night."_

_"Oh, Mrs. Montgomery, I'm so-"_

_She shook her head, immediately cutting off Spencer's hasty apology. "I don't need sympathy, Spencer. I just wanted to let you know, because Aria is very upset. She won't talk to me, but she might talk to you."_

_"Of course I'll be there for her. Can I do anything to help you?" She didn't think there was anything she could do to make this situation better, but if Mrs. Montgomery named something she would go to the ends of the Earth to make it happen. She would do whatever she could to comfort the family that was as good as her own._

_"I just- I just can't-" To her horror tears welled up in her eyes._

_"Mrs. Montgomery," Spencer whispered, desperate to help this woman who was more like her mother than her own mother sometimes. She did the only thing that she could think to do and pulled her into a tight hug. "Everything will be alright."_

Spencer blinked away the memories and met the same desperately sad eyes from her memories. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, taking a small step backward.

Toby's fingers tightened around her arm, ensuring that she didn't run away. "Mrs. Montgomery? I'm Toby Cavanaugh, Spencer's boyfriend. It's wonderful to meet you."

She gave Toby a tense smile before turning back to Spencer. "Spencer, can we talk? Please? Mike said that he saw you at the Grille, and after that I knew that it was necessary that we came to talk to you."

She nodded and gestured for everyone to follow her into the house. "Do you guy want anything to drink? I could make a sandwich or something," she stood near the couch, too nervous to sit down.

Toby's calloused fingers wrapped around her wrist, pulling her carefully down to the couch. "Just relax, Spence." She tightened her grip on his hand, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get through this without him. She looked at the ground, decidedly avoiding eye contact with anyone.

"Spencer, when you ran out of the Grille I knew I had to talk to my mom. You were like my big sister throughout most of my life. I knew what you were feeling, and I knew that you were still blaming yourself. So I told mom, and we knew that we had to come talk to you." Mike's voice was quiet, and he wasn't making eye contact any more than Spencer was.

He wasn't wrong. He was like her little brother. When she lost Aria she didn't just lose her best friend, she lost her entire second family.

_"Spencer?"_

_She paused at her locker, confused as to why Mike was talking to her. Usually he acted like he was too cool to associate with her or Aria during school hours. "What's up?"_

_"Can- can I talk to you for a second?"_

_She narrowed her eyes at the distressed frown on his face. "What's wrong, Mike? Are you alright?"_

_"Please, Spence. Not here."_

_Spencer glanced around and nodded. She wrapped her hand around his arm and pulled him into the empty bio lab. Mrs. Greene always took a Subway run after school so that she had dinner while she graded. That meant that they could have a few minutes alone. "Are you okay?" She repeated herself._

_"Missy broke up with me." He sat down on a stool at a lab table and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook as he was obviously trying to suppress some unwelcome emotions._

_An irrational surge of anger shot through her body as she took in the distressing sight of the emotional boy who was as good as her brother. He was just a freshman, and Missy was his first girlfriend. Your first love was always the most intense, but that didn't matter. Mike was so sweet with Missy. She should have felt honored to be with him, and instead the ho just breaks his heart. "Listen Mike, she doesn't deserve you, okay? One day you'll find someone who will love you for exactly who you are, and Missy will see exactly what she threw away here. It'll hurt for awhile, but I promise it'll get better."_

"Spencer," from her voice alone Spencer could tell that Mrs. Montgomery was crying. This made things about one hundred times more difficult. "Spencer, we don't blame you."

Her heart skipped a beat as she fully comprehended what Mrs. Montgomery was saying. She hesitantly looked up. "You don't?" She whispered, her voice embarrassingly cracking. This couldn't be real.

"No, sweetheart. We don't. We never have. After A-Aria's funeral we wanted to visit you so many times, but every time we thought about it it just hurt too much."

"Because it was my fault," Spencer said softly. It wasn't a question, it was her admission of guilt. She had claimed responsibility so many times, but taking the fault for Aria's death to her mom and her brother cost her so much more.

"Spencer, look at me." Mrs. Montgomery waited for Spencer to make reluctant eye contact before speaking. "It wasn't your fault. It was an accident; a terrible, horrible, awful accident. But it was no one's fault other than the person that hit you. We didn't come see you because you just reminded us so much of Aria. You two were joined at the hip, and just seeing you brought back memories that we weren't ready to feel yet."

This was all that she had ever hoped for, but everything that she had been afraid would never happen. Tears began to stream down her face as she fully comprehended what Mrs. Montgomery was saying. "You- you're not mad at me?"

"No, sweetheart, no. We could never be mad at you. All those birthdays, holidays, sleepovers, and family dinners? You weren't just my daughter's best friend. You were like my daughter too. You were a sister to Mike. We were selfish. I'm so _so _sorry. I didn't think about how this would effect you. I didn't realize that you would blame yourself, but I should have. I should have known that you would take the weight of the world onto your shoulders, because that's exactly who you are. You're loving, kind, and you're protective. You always defended Aria with every single thing you had within you. I don't know why I couldn't see that the one time that you couldn't save her you would blame yourself, and for that I'm eternally sorry."

It was like the world stopped spinning. Everything froze. But for once it wasn't in a bad way. It was in a good way. In the _best _way. They didn't blame her. They didn't think it was her fault. They still cared about her.

Before she even realized what she was doing she released Toby's hand and threw herself into Mrs. Montgomery's arms. At first she seemed shocked, but it only lasted a moment before she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, holding her shaking frame tightly to her chest in the way that only a mother could pull off. "Everything's okay Spencer. Everything will be fine. We don't blame you, and I promise you that Aria wouldn't blame you either. She loved you so much. You two were so attached that it was hard to tell where she began and you ended. She wouldn't want you to be so sad."

Their tears mixed together, their trembling limbs clinging together. After a moment Mike joined them. The three of them hung on to each other for the longest time, laughing together and reminiscing about the tiny brunette that brought them all together.

Spencer glanced across the room and met eyes with Toby, who was sitting on the couch with a soft smile. He never left, never took his eyes off of her, and never wavering in his devotion. If she hadn't already been sure that she loved him that would have been cemented right in that moment. Right now she had Toby. She had her second family back. And she finally had the burden of her best friend's death slowly lifting from her chest. Everything would be okay.


	16. Chapter 16

**This chapter may be a bit more filler-y, but I still think you'll like it! Next chapter is INTENSE and it is also done. But because my reviews are slowing down I just want to say that it will be up when this chapter gets 8 reviews!**

**LOVE YOU! Love you all to the moon and back.**

**Let me know what you think, kay!?**

Chapter 16

SPOV

Sometimes you have a weight on your shoulders that you didn't even know was there until it was lifted. She knew that she felt responsible for Aria. She knew that she was worried about how Aria's family felt about her. But what she didn't know how crushing and debilitating that worry was until she no longer felt it. It was like she was wearing blinders. The world was dark and hazy, but she didn't realize it. Not until they weren't on anymore. Now the world was like a bright, shiny new penny. Everything was beautiful.

"Would you rather sweat gravy or cry hot sauce?"

Part of that beauty consisted of these crazy, wonderful, amazing, ridiculous people that she called her friends. Emphasis on the word ridiculous. For the last half an hour they had been playing the most outrageous round of would you rather.

Caleb wrinkled his nose. "Is it just straight gravy, or is there like sausage in it and shit?"

"How would that even be possible? I feel like you'd have to break physics in order to squeeze little pieces of sausage out of your pores." Hanna ran a hand over her face as though to make sure that her pores hadn't grown at all.

Spencer laughed at their antics. "Listen, if we're talking about a world where you can sweat gravy or cry hot sauce. I think that this is a pretty valid question under the circumstances. But Maya, it's your question. What do you think?"

She paused as though she were thinking long and hard about it. "I think that the gravy definitely has sausage in it."

Toby laughed as he spoke up for the first time. "I would probably cry hot sauce. I sweat much more often than I cry."

"I think I would sweat gravy. It would be awesome just to be able to swipe a piece of a biscuit underneath your armpit for a nice, delicious breakfast." Caleb was completely serious in what he saw saying, and he didn't understand that what he was saying was completely ridiculous.

"Caleb you are literally the most disgusting person in the entire planet. If you ever eat armpit biscuits I'm leaving you," Hanna said. "But that being said I think I'd also sweat gravy. I'm basically allergic to sweat, and I cry way too often. I don't think that I'd enjoy having my eyeballs burnt out."

"What kind of hot sauce is it?" Spencer asked, just trying to be difficult. "Tabasco, chipotle, jalepeno?"

"Tabasco. Stop being so difficult, Spence!" Maya tossed a pillow at her face and flopped back on the couch.

"I cry too much," she nodded in Hanna's direction agreeing with her. "So I'm going to have to go with sweating gravy."

"We could make a delicious breakfast dish together," Toby whispered in her ear.

He was obviously trying to be sexy, but she couldn't help but laugh. "My armpit biscuits will really love your tear duct hot sauce. But I think that I'll go ahead and let you eat them."

"Real love," he pressed his lips to her cheek, and she could feel the vibrations from his laughter. Her smile grew, loving that she was able to do that to him.

"Okay, Em! You're up!"

"I think," she bit her lip, thinking seriously about it. "I think that I'm going to have to join Toby in Camp Hot Sauce. The idea of sausage oozing out of my pores is enough to make me gag."

"Hanna! It's your turn," Maya nodded in approval at Emily's answer before turning to the blonde.

"Oh! Oh, I have a good one. Be ready to have your minds blown with the epic challenge of deciding. Okay, okay so would you rather live underwater or on the moon?" She had such a proud smile on her face that Spencer bit her bottom lip to hold in her laughter.

She tuned out the others as she thought about how excited she was for the following weekend. Ever since Hanna had mentioned it a few weeks ago the six of them had been slowly planning their trip up to the lake, and Spencer had been looking forward to it with an unprecedented haze of excitement. Hot tub, roasting marshmallows, curling up by the fire, spending time with her favorite people? The next six days were about to be some of the best in her life.

Her joy would have been lessened had this happened prior to her conversation with Mrs. Montgomery and Mike because the last time she had gone to the lake was with Aria. It would be hard regardless, but she was going to change her thinking. Instead of remembering Aria with the pain of her loss she was going to remember her as one of the best friends that she ever had.

_"Spencer, what's the point of having a rich best friend if we can't use your fancy, smancy hot tub?" Aria whined and stood up._

_"It's cold, Aria! I don't want to get pneumonia." Spencer sat her book down and studied her best friend's face to try to determine her seriousness. Did she really want to spend her time in water?  
_

_She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Duh, Spence. That's why it's called a hot tub and not a cold tub. Please, please, please can we please?"_

_"Fine," she groaned like it was such a hardship. "But if I get sick I fully expect you to feed me breakfast in bed, fluff my pillows, and bring me medicine."_

_Aria chuckled and pulled Spencer to her feet. "Deal. Deal, deal, freaking deal. Now rip off that shirt, show off your hot little bod in that cute pink bikini, and jump into the boiling hot water with me. Come on, it'll be grand. We can pretend we're lobsters boiling."_

_Suddenly she felt an unbelievable level of affection for her best friend. "Aria..."_

_Aria gave her a questioning glance, but she didn't say anything._

_"Aria," she began again, "Thank you. I would seriously be so boring without you."_

_Aria flashed her her best crooked smile and wrapped her arm around her waist. "That's true," she teased and led Spencer outside._

"Spencer! We have two for underwater and two for outer space. Make your choice!" Hanna's amused voice broke into Spencer's distracted thoughts with a start.

She glanced over at Toby, who opened his mouth to respond to her, but Maya immediately cut him off. "No! Not a chance! If you say what you picked she'll just pick whatever you said so that you two can either bounce around in your moon shoes or make little mermaid babies. So shhh, Cavanaugh keep your mouth shut."

It was really incredibly amusing how intense this game was getting. But whatever, she could play along. "I assume that I can breath on both? The moon must have developed some form of Earth-like atmosphere, but in the ocean can I breath underwater or do I have to wear scuba gear?"

"Oh shit, that's a good question. Why didn't I ask that before? I don't want to spend my whole life wearing a scuba suit," Maya rambled, legitimately upset.

"Calm down Anxious Amy. You can totes breath under water. I'm not that much of meanie." Hanna rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to Spencer. "Make your choice!"

"Well, believe it or not, this isn't the first time that I've been asked this question," she giggled and regaled her new friends with the story.

_"Would you rather live on the moon or like in the lost city of Atlantis, assuming that it's underground."_

_Spencer wrinkled her nose up at the absurdity of her science teacher's question. He shouldn't be teaching them fantastical thoughts such as that. This was a science class. He should be discussing possibilities._

_"Spencer, what do you think?"_

_Aria turned around in her desk and shot Spencer a smirk, obviously aware of the rant that she was about to sprout off. _

_Spencer sighed and shook her head minutely. "I choose neither."_

_"Not really an option, Miss Hastings," he reverted back to her more formal title, clearly unhappy with her lack of compliance._

_"Neither are the choices that you're proposing. It is impossible to breath on the moon, and if you were underwater you would drown or get nitrogen poisoning from extended exposure to your scuba gear. This is completely implausible, and I don't appreciate your leading us in the wrong direction."_

"Oh my God, Spence," Hanna gasped out between her peels of laughter. "What happened?"

"I got sent to the principal's office and they called my mom expecting her to support them. But my mom was on my side and reamed into the teacher for educating my class about outrageous things. And then she took me out for ice cream."

"No!" Emily gasped with a laugh. But she shouldn't have been surprised. Her mom had been Emily's aunt for one hundred percent of her life and hadn't changed at all.

"Yep!" She enjoyed seeing the mixed emotions when she told that story. Some, like Emily, looked a bit appalled. But others, like Hanna, looked as though her parents were their heroes.

"Spencer," Maya whined. "You still have to break the tie! Make your choice!"

"Underwater, duh," she decided to be nicer to her friends. She wouldn't point out the absurdity in the question. For some reason she found this discussion even more ridiculous than the thought of sausage oozing from various pores.

"Definitely ridiculous locations compatible," Toby ducked down and pressed and soft kiss to the tender spot below her ear. "I bet your hair would look really sexy under water."

She laughed and turned her face into the side of his neck, taking a deep breath. He smelled vaguely woodsy, and the smell of his cologne was still prominent on his skin. It was the most soothing thing in the world. "Love you," she said quietly, not really caring if the others heard, but not exactly wanting to advertise it either.

"Love you too," he murmured, dropping a kiss to her lips. He rose his voice to a level that the others could hear. "Maybe we should go to bed."

"Where should we sleep, Spencer?" Emily asked her unnecessarily. Did she forget that she was her cousin? They had been having sleepovers practically weekly since birth, with a brief hiatus during her dark ages.

The six of them were staying together at Spencer's house so that they could facilitate an easy departure the next morning. It was a hard sell, especially for Aunt Pam, but in the long run they were able to convince them that it was the best course of action. Of course, the parents were under the impression that the couples would be separated, but that wasn't going to happen. Sometimes she loved that her parents were on the absent side of things, because it meant that she got to share a bed with her boyfriend for the first time.

Granted, nothing would happen. They would cuddle, which would be nice. She wanted to be close to him, but she absolutely wasn't ready for any of that business yet.

"Sleep in your room, Em. Maya, you can go with her. I know we told our parents that we would separate, but that's not really necessary unless you guys want too." She looked at them questioning, and turned away when Maya nodded in affirmation.

She turned to Hanna and Caleb next, "If you swear not to rifle through my drawers and read my diaries you guys can take my room. We'll sleep down here." She glanced back at Toby to check his reaction and relaxed when he only smiled at her.

"Spencer are you sure...?" Hanna trailed off, but she looked excited by the prospect of sleeping on a real bed.

Her parents might not have been the best, but they had taught her the appropriate way to deal with guests. "Of course. There are extra blankets in my closet if you get cold."

The two of them muttered their thanks and walked up the stairs. As soon as they were out of sight she turned to Toby with sleepy eyes. "Sorry about that. But my parents have forced appropriate host mannerisms in my head since I was two. If you want a bed I can-"

He immediately cut her off with a kiss and pulled her down into a laying position on the couch. She pressed her body into his and lost both of her fists into his hair as she deepened their kisses. After a moment of feverish kissing he took his lips away from her mouth and hovered them above her neck. "There's no where else I'd rather be."

She nodded and pressed her forehead to the hallow of his shoulder. She shivered slightly and tucked herself deeper into his side. Almost immediately she felt the soft flutter of fabric against her skin as he carefully draped the blanket over the two of them. "I love you, Spencer," he whispered, his words tickling the side of her neck.

"I love you too," she replied softly as she nuzzled her into his shoulder, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

She truly could never remember a time when things were this good, and she could only hope that this could continue. But life experience told her that it was too good to be true. Nothing good would last which is why she had to enjoy it for as long as she possibly could.


	17. Chapter 17

**This chapter is shorter and ends with a cliffy. SORRY NOT SORRY. **

**You guys are amazing, super reviewers! I didn't expect you to earn this chapter so quickly :). WONDERFUL PEOPLE. I think I have to make it harder for you haha. We can't have you getting used to being amazing! Next chapter will be up on Thursday or when this gets 10 reviews! Whatever comes first. And I feel like you're going to want answers. If this gives you any incentive, the next chapter is from Spencer's POV. You'll understand why that's significant at the end of this. **

**HAPPY READING. You're the most wonderful!**

Chpater 17

TPOV

Usually he was not a morning person whatsoever. While the sun slowly crept above the distant horizon there was nothing that he would rather do than sleep. Sometimes he liked to eat. His mom made the best bacon in the world. He wasn't sure how that was possible, since all you do is put in in a pan to fry, but somehow his mom's was the best. But today was different. He was happy to be away.

He opened his eyes with his typical level of indifference, but as he recognized the slim body of his girlfriend curled up against him the usual level of ire immediately halted. He couldn't stop the lazy smile from spreading across his face. Waking up like this could definitely turn him into a morning person.

"Spence?" He moved his lips downward so that he could murmur into her ear, and his hands brushed down the curve of her waist.

"Mmm?" She questioned him softly.

He smiled at her tired mumbles and pulled her more securely against his chest. "We should probably get up," he mumbled reluctantly. He pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck before nuzzling his nose into the soft skin.

"I don't want too..." she yawned and reached back to grab his hand. She slowly interlocked their fingers together.

"Me either," he sighed and helped roll her over so that they he could more easily press his lips to hers. "I love you, Spencer."

"Love you too," she mumbled, her lips hovering just above his own. "Kind of a lot."

"I love the both of you, but if I have to watch you make out I'm going to puke before I even get to eat breakfast." Caleb grumbled as he rifled through the cabinets. "Spencer, do you have any cereal?"

"No, my dad can't have sugar," she sighed as though it were the bane of her existence. "It made for a rough childhood."

"Wait, seriously? How did you survive?" Hanna's voice was literally appalled as she joined Caleb. "We're going to have to make a McDonald's pit stop."

"You're telling me." Caleb wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in for an uncharacteristically deep kiss.

Hanna nudged away from him with a slightly dazed look on her face. "Someone's feeling affectionate this morning."

He was going to say something, but Spencer beat him to the retort and made a dramatic gagging noise. Caleb smiled at Hanna before turning to Spencer and rolling his eyes. "Says the one I caught in a full on make out session not even five minutes ago."

Spencer's face didn't have to be visible for him to tell that she was blushing, so he decided that it was time to save the day. "Where are Em and Maya? Still sleeping?"

Hanna snorted and shook her head. "No, they're outside loading up the cars. Swear to God, Emily was Dora the Explorer in another life."

Spencer snorted and nodded vigorously. He got a whiff of her hair as her pony tail swung in his face, but he didn't mind. He loved her smell. She smelled like a flowery meadow, which was about the least manly thing ever. He didn't feel the need to constantly impress Spencer, but if she knew that he had thought that he'd be a bit embarrassed.

She glanced back at him with a smile before turning back to Hanna. "When we were younger, before Aunt Pam went all crazy overprotective, we used to spend a week every summer camping. You would think I'd be the prepared one with the guide books, right? Um no. Emily was so into that stuff. She brought tree identifier books, print offs of how to start fires, and three different first aid kits. She was ridiculous and adorable."

"Spencer, are you talking smack?" Emily walked into the house, leading Maya by the hand. "I do seem to remember you appreciating my wilderness survival skills when you got bit by that snack!"

"Em!" Spencer laughed, "We weren't supposed to bring that up."

"Wait, no now I absolutely one hundred percent must hear this story." Toby agreed with Hanna's impassioned demand, but he wasn't going to say it. He would let her think that he was passively indifferent to her embarrassing stories, but in reality he was practically salivating at the opportunity to learn more about Spencer.

"No," Spencer groaned and covered her face with a pillow. He was concerned for a moment before he saw her shoulders shaking in laughter. Her happiness was contagious. He wrapped both of his arms around her and pulled her securely into his side. "I think I'd like to hear this story too," he murmured into her ear, hoping that he sounded more seductive than eager.

Her giggles slowly died down. "You tell it, Em. But don't exaggerate or you don't get any of my dad's $500 bottle of scotch that I snagged."

"Hold up," Caleb interjected. "Your dad drinks $500 scotch?"

"I mean I might be slightly exaggerating. I think that it's like maybe $200." She scratched her arm, obviously uncomfortable. She never talked about her wealth. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason it made her feel uncomfortable. It wasn't as though it were a secret. She lived in the nicest house in Rosewood, and it was behind a gate.

"Spencer, I would love you even if you were poor and had to borrow my clothes. Which you could totally rock, just for your information," Caleb began, "But I think having a rich friends is a little bit the best."

Spencer chuckled awkwardly and nodded in his direction. "Snake story?"

Toby did want to hear the snake story, but he was a bit disgruntled by the thought of Spencer in Caleb's clothes. If she could rock any man's clothes it would be his, not Caleb's. But he supposed that he was being ridiculous. They hadn't been dating long, but he knew that Spencer only wanted him. And Caleb and Hanna were so ridiculously perfect for each other that the idea of either of them with someone else was ludicrous.

"Okay, snake story," Emily took a deep breath, trying to control the giggles that were already threatening to spill over. "Uncle Peter was supposed to start the fire, but he got some lawyer phone call on his fancy satellite phone. He told us to go find fire wood, and I agreed readily. Spencer took a bit more persuasion. She was alternating between texting Aria and reading... a book."

"Oh hold on," Maya laughed. "You just made that sound so scandalous. Spence, were you reading a porno magazine?" She wagged her eyebrows and grabbed a banana out of the fruit tray. She didn't ask, but that really was a part of Maya's charm. She just made herself at home wherever. It was the hippie in her.

"I don't remember?" Spencer meekly supplied. Her face was beet red, suggesting that she absolutely remembered. But again, he wasn't going to be the one to call her out on it.

"You are lying!" Hanna snagged the pillow from Spencer's arms and lightly hit her in the head with it. "Just tell us, it can't be that bad." Thank you Hanna Marin, for voicing all of his innermost thoughts today.

"I'll tell you! It was-"

"Em!" Spencer interjected loudly, cutting Emily off just before she revealed Spencer's illicit reading material.

Emily shot her cousin a quick, apologetic smile before bursting out with it in a string of nearly inaudible words. "ItwasBreakingDawn."

"BREAKING DAWN!?" Hanna screeched and plopped on the couch, pulling his girlfriend away from him. "Oh my God Spencer you get better and better every day! Team Edward or Jacob!? Answer carefully, because your response determines whether or not this friendship can continue."

"Can I have Jacob for his body and Edward for his personality and mind?" She questioned.

"Yes! Perfect answer! I-"

"Rest of the snake story!" Emily interrupted, giving Hanna a fake, stern glare. "Once I finally convinced Spencer to put the book down she was determined to beat me in stick collecting. She was working so fast that she picked up a garner snake, thinking that it was a thick branch. It bit her and wouldn't let go. So she screams, and I run over there and there Spencer is, waving her arm around in the air with a snake attached to it."

By the end of her story the six of them were practically crying in laughter. "That did not happen!" Caleb gasped out.

"I assure you that I wish that it hadn't," Spencer laughed ruefully. "But alas it did."

"Did you just say alas? Alright Professor Dumbledore, let's get going."

He looked down at his attire and glanced at Spencer. "We're still in our pajamas."

"You snooze you lose," Hanna said seriously. "You can change when we get to the lake house. We need to go!"

He opened his mouth to protest again, but Spencer cut him off with a soft kiss. "Not worth it. Let's just go. We're not going to see anyone worth impressing!"

"Excuse you!" Emily laughed and grabbed the keys to her car. "Maya and I will drive my little car. The four of you take Toby's truck."

There was no arguing with Dora the Explorer Emily. They rounded up the rest of the luggage and snacks, and with that they were on the road. The drive to the lake was fairly easy, much of it being on the rural back roads that defined their part of Pennsylvania. The part that wasn't characterized by the sprawl of Philadelphia, of course.

As they wound around the curvy, hilly roads Hanna, Caleb, Spencer and he sang songs, told stories, and just honestly had a great time. He carefully followed Emily, not certain as to how to get there. But Emily insisted that she was.

It happened when they weren't paying as close attention. They were at a four way stop. Those were supposed to be safe, weren't they? As Emily pulled into the intersection they pulled forward and prepared to yield for the car to their right, who was approaching the stop sign much more quickly than was appropriate. Toby watched in horror as the driver in that car obviously dropped something. Their foot must have slipped harder onto the gas peddle, because the car lurched into the intersection and collided with Emily's car.

He watched as both cars spun out of control, and an acute sense of horror settled in his stomach. This couldn't be happening. Not again.


	18. Chapter 18

**BOOM. Next chapter because you guys are INCREDIBLE. Super reviewers! I swear, half the reason I update so fast is because waking up to reviews is literally the best! So make me happy you beautiful people! :)**

Chapter 18

SPOV

Life was literally like a roller coaster. You chugged upward slowly but surely. Just when you thought your upward climb would never end the world dropped out from underneath you.

As she watched her cousin's car spin out of control it was like she was kicked in the stomach. She couldn't think. She couldn't breath. This could not be happening. She watched as the car finally stop with an acute sense of horror. This couldn't be happening.

She knew that she needed to get out of the car. She heard doors slamming and voices yelling, but she couldn't move. Her limbs were frozen. Everything was ice cold. She could feel the tears streaming down her face, but she made no move to wipe them away. She couldn't move.

"Spencer!"

Toby's warm hand on her icy arm broke her out of her trance. She violently flinched away, but turned to him in desperation. It was like the new version of herself was dueling with the scared, depressed Spencer. She wanted to help, but she didn't know how. Her track record in regard to situations like this was less than stellar. Last time her best friend **died. ** Maybe she was cursed.

"Spencer, you have to snap out of it!" His hand released her arm and he came around to her side of the truck.

Both of his arms enveloped her body as he carefully pulled her out of the truck. He leaned her against the cool exterior and framed her trembling face with his hands. "Spencer we have to help them. Come on, sweetheart."

She blinked a few times, feeling slowly coming back to her extremities. He was right. Emily was her cousin, and Maya was one of the best friends she had ever had. She had to help them. She looked up at Toby for a second, nodding slowly. "Okay," she murmured. "Okay." She put both of her trembling hands on his chest for a moment to find her center of balance before pulling away and stumbling toward the accident site.

Toby followed directly behind her. She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn't stop to think. She just had to keep moving or else she was liable to dissolve into a hysterical mess. She needed to stay focused in what she had to do. She could cry later.

By the time they arrived at the car Caleb had helped Emily climb out of the window. She turned to see Hanna helping the woman in the other vehicle, who looked just as shaken up as she felt. She knew what it was like to cause an accident, and if she wasn't so worried about Emily and Maya she would go talk to her.

"Maya's unconscious, and I can't reach her. The door's jammed shut." Caleb ran the hand that wasn't supporting Emily's weight through his hair. "I don't know what to do."

Neither he nor Toby looked at her, and Emily seemed too out of it to be thinking about anything. All that told her was that she must look as terrible as she felt, because it was more than obvious that she could fit through that car window. "I can do it," she whispered.

Caleb looked at her and then at Toby, but he didn't say anything. Toby never took his eyes off of her. "Spencer, are you sure?"

No. She wasn't at all sure, but she knew that she had too. She _had _to. She couldn't let Maya die or suffer for a second longer than she had too. "Yes."

She shrugged out of Toby's hands and walked to the car. She tried to brush away the broken glass from the window, but she gasped as a piece cut into her palm.

"Spencer?" Toby's voice sounded just as tense as her own. This couldn't be any easier for him than it was for her.

"I'm fine." Her voice sounded anything but fine, but he let her go without question.

It was the right call, because as much as she wanted to help Maya she knew that she also needed to do this for herself. She couldn't save Aria. There was no way that she could have done anything. Once that car hit her SUV a series of unfortunate events spun out of her control. Aria was probably dead on impact, and Spencer's own injuries had been substantial. But right now she could help Maya. She could do something this time. And she _would. _

It took her a moment to ease her body through the broken window, but with Toby's help she managed it. She slid onto the driver's seat and pressed her hand to Maya's cheek. "Maya?"

She mumbled incoherently, but she took it as a good sign. "Come on, Maya. You have to wake up. Let me see your eyes."

Slowly her big, brown eyes blinked open. But instead of seeing Maya she only saw Aria.

_She couldn't move. But she had too. She had to help Aria. She used every bit of energy that she had left to force her right hand to brush against Aria's face._

_It felt cold. That couldn't be good. But she felt cold too. She was losing blood too quickly, but she didn't care about herself. What happened to her was inconsequential. Her best friend's life was clearly on the line. "Aria, please. **Please.**"_

_"Come on Aria. You have to wake up. You have to. Remember all of our plans?" A sob caught in her throat, and the tears flowed freely. She felt like she was screaming, but her voice couldn't be anything more than an insubstantial whisper. "We're supposed to go to college together, make bad choices, maybe date some frat boys. We were supposed to get married to twins and live down the street from each other. Please Aria, please. Wake up. Wake up so my kids can meet their Aunt Aria. Please. They're going to need someone to save them from the never ending cycle of academia. They'll need someone to take them shopping and teach them how to be cool. Because God knows that I would have been nothing but the awkward nerdy girl without you. Please Aria, **please**."_

_She felt the warm touch of skin against her hand, and it frightened her. But right now she was incapable of any kind of appropriate physical response. Instead she tilted her head to the side and was rewarded with the brightest blue that she had ever seen._

"Spencer, is she okay?"

She shook her head to clear her mind of the painful memories. This wasn't Aria. _It wasn't Aria. _It was Maya, and she could still save her. There was still hope for her. "Maya are you alright?" Her eyes searched into the deep brown trying to discern an answer.

Maya just looked at her, seemingly unable to speak. "Okay," Spencer murmured and slipped her hand into Maya's. "Here's my hand. Squeeze it if you can understand me, okay?"

It took a minute, but Maya eventually squeezed out the faintest of pressure.

Spencer couldn't stop herself from smiling. "Okay, great. That's a great sign. Everything will be okay."

This time she felt two distinct squeezes on her hand, and it didn't take a genius to realize that was Maya's way of saying no.

She used her other hand to brush the bloodied hair away from Maya's face. "It will, I promise. Let me tell you a story while we wait for the ambulance, okay?" She turned to look back at Toby who was staring intently at her. Caleb was also clearly listening, but he was still supporting Emily, so his attention was divided.

Maya's eyes hadn't moved from her face. It was like she was clinging to Spencer as though she were a flotation device in the midst of a raging ocean. It was okay as long as she made it out, because if Maya died she didn't know if she'd be able to recover from this. But she forced a smile and continued on her story. "You've all noticed how sad I've been, I'm sure. Last year before I moved here I was in a massive car accident with my best friend. I wanted ice cream and she agreed to go with me. You can't imagine how I regret that particular craving now. On the way back another car plowed into Aria's side of the car, and before the ambulance got there she died. I was injured pretty badly myself, but ironically this one," she gestured to Toby with her head, "came along and saved my life. But I wasn't okay for a really, really long time. I was drowning in depression. I blamed myself for Aria's death, and I wished that it had been me instead. Until I met you guys I woke up every morning wishing I was dead. But you guys brought me back, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that. So it might seem like things will never be okay, but they will. You'll survive this."

She hadn't stopped crying since she had climbed out of Toby's truck, but right now the tears were coming at an unprecedented manner. It was all that she could do to keep the hysterical sobs out of her voice. She glanced over her shoulder as she heard the ambulance approaching. Briefly her eyes met Toby's, and they shared a significant glance.

Her gaze returned to Maya. "Do you hear that? That's help coming for you. It may than them a few minutes to get you out, but then you can get to the hospital."

She felt Toby's hand against her shoulder, and she turned around to face him. "Caleb's going to take Em to the hospital in my truck. I'm going to go talk to the paramedics. Are you okay?"

She actually wasn't sure. But she absolutely wasn't going to stop him from getting Maya the help that she needed so she nodded wordlessly before turning back to Maya. She heard the paramedics approaching. She heard Toby's voice talking to them, with brief interludes from Hanna. She heard the sound of saws as they worked to get Maya out of the car. She heard all of that, but she was singular in her focus. She would help keep Maya awake.

"You're doing so great," she said softly. And she was. Despite the pain that was obvious in her face, and the steady drooping of her eyes Maya managed to stay conscious. Spencer sincerely hoped they got them out soon, because she wasn't going to be able to hold herself together much longer.

Just as she was about give up hope the paramedics broke through the side of Emily's car and untangled Maya from Spencer's arms. She stumbled out after them and fell into Toby's ready embrace. She buried her head in his chest and finally gave way to the hysterical sobs that had threatened to escape the moment that the first car had struck Emily's car. She was soaking his shirt and probably causing a scene, but she didn't care. This was just too much.

Toby led her to the side of the road and sank to the grass, gently supporting her weight as he led her downward. He guided her head to his shoulder and began to methodically stroke her hair, from the crown of her head to the hallow space between her shoulder blades. Over and over again, never slowing and never hesitating. "You're alright. You're okay, I've got you."

"I- I just- God- I- Aria-" She stuttered out, not even knowing what she was saying.

"I know. I know, Spence. But you did so great. No one else would have been able to fit through the window. You really might be the only reason that Maya's alright. You did so good."

She turned her face to the side and buried her nose in the sleeve of his t shirt. She took a moment to just breath in his scent before pulling away. He took one look at her and slowly began to wipe her tears away with her thumbs. "Think about all the progress you've made, sweetheart. Think about it. You couldn't have done this even a few weeks ago. But today you charged into that car like someone who had never faced the traumas that you have. You're incredible."

She was going to say something, but instead Hanna plopped down next to them. "Spencer I wasn't trying to be a creep, I swear, but I overheard some of your story when you were telling it to Maya... and I swear Spencer. You were cool before, but now you're a million times more amazing. If I were you I don't know that I would have been able to go on. I would have crawled into a hole somewhere."

"I did for awhile," she muttered, using Toby's solid arms as leverage to straighten herself up.

"Yeah, but you never completely broke. That makes all the difference."

After Hanna's profound observation the three of them fell into a contemplative kind of silence. Maybe Hanna was right.


	19. Chapter 19

**How does a story go from 12 reviews on a chapter to 2?! Ahhh idk, but I can honestly say I almost didn't post this. I was going to be a mean author and withhold it until I got more reviews. But I couldn't do that to those of you that did review! But don't test me, cause I might not be as nice next time!**

**I've got to tell you guys that this story is winding down too! I'm guesstimating two more chapters, but it might be three. Next chapter is cute, and then the epilogue should be LONG and cute and emotional. But don't worry! I've got two more ideas for stories, and I'll be posting one of them after I finish Unchained Melody in the next few days. The other needs a bit more work, but it'll be up soon.**

**REVIEW PLEASE. I never know what to think unless you guys tell me :)**

Chapter 19

TPOV

As he held his sobbing girlfriend he was struck by just one thing. It wasn't the violent way that her sobs rocked through her tiny body. It wasn't the way her soft brown hair fanned out over her narrow shoulders. It wasn't the way that her small hands clung to his shirt like the entirety of her world would shatter apart if she let go. It was her strength, her beauty, and her resilience. She was unbelievable.

So he let her cry into his chest. He let her sob until she had nothing left in her, because that was what she needed. As she quieted down he dropped a kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering for a few moments before turning to Hanna. She had settled down a few feet away; far enough to give them some semblance of privacy, but close enough to hear if they needed her. And now he needed her. "Han?"

Her concern-filled, blue eyes immediately met his intent gaze. She didn't speak, just shot him a questioning look. He glanced down at Spencer one more time before looking back up at Hanna. "Can you call my mom and ask her to come get us?"

She nodded, still silent, and quickly dialed the number. He could hear her low tone, but was too focused on Spencer to attempt to discern any words. "Spence, are you okay?"

She didn't respond other than to nuzzle her head deeper into his chest. He dug his fingers into her hair and clutched her head to him. He wouldn't let her face this alone. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her forehead as he tried to push down that memories that were threatening to overwhelm him.

_"Toby?"_

_He heard his mom calling out for him, but he couldn't deal with that right now. He slowly sat down on the couch and pulled his legs up to him like a child. He was acutely aware that he was covered in the mystery girl's blood. That was going to cause his mother some concern, but he was too out of it to care._

_"Toby? Did you get the milk?" She walked into the living room. He wasn't looking at her, but her gasp of horror was impossible to miss. "Toby, what happened? Are you okay?" She knelt down in front of him and framed his face with her hands. "Look at me, sweetheart."_

_"It's not mine," he mumbled, reluctantly glancing upward to meet her eyes._

_She adjusted so that she was sitting down next to him and pulled him too her. Her arms wrapped around his body and she held him while he cried. She never talked, questioned, or harassed him until his painful sobs quieted down. "Can you tell me what happened?"_

_He nodded and proceeded to tell his mom about helping the girl with the beautiful eyes. "And- it's just like- I don't know mom. I know you said it wasn't my fault, what happened to dad and Jenna. And I logically knew you were right. But the worst part of my mind always told me that I killed them. Something- something about h-helping that girl- I don't even know. It's like some of the guilt is gone. I couldn't save them, but I did everything that I could to save her."_

Looking back on his life he knew without a shadow of a doubt that saving Spencer was a defining moment for him. It was the moment that he was finally able to let go of some of the guilt he felt over losing his dad and Jenna. She wouldn't see it right now, but maybe that's what Spencer needed too. "Spencer, just say something? Please?"_  
_

"Is she going to be okay?" He could barely understand her words, but he managed to comprehend them after a moment of deciphering.

He drew her closer. "I don't know, sweetheart. I don't think anyone knows yet, but you were able to keep her conscious and that's the most important thing. You gave her a fighting chance."

"Can we go see them? I- we- I just-"

He cut off her stammering by pressing a gentle kiss to her mouth. She responded needily, and their mouths joined together until the crunch of tires startled them apart.

"Oh no, don't stop on my account," Hanna laughed nervously. It was how she had always dealt with stressful situations. "But stop for Mama Cavanaugh. It's cool."

Toby rolled his eyes at Hanna before looking up at his mom who had quickly rushed to them. "Is everyone alright? What happened?"

He swallowed and spoke for the girls. "Emily and Maya were in an accident."

"Oh God, are they-"

He cut her off, not wanting to listen to that question being asked again. "We don't know."

She nodded and took in the appearance of the three teenagers, taking an extra moment to look at Spencer's blood smeared shirt and the way that she was favoring her right hand. "Spencer honey, were you hurt?"

He hadn't noticed the injury to her hand, and he pulled it carefully to him, giving her every opportunity to stop him. But she didn't. Her big, brown eyes followed his progress for a moment before she turned to his mom. "No," her voice was quieter than he had heard it in a long time. "I just helped Maya. I was in the other car."

His fingers carefully brushed over the small gash in her hand, and he flashed her a repentant smile as she hissed and pulled away. "I think you need stitches," he said softly and brushed the back of his hand over her cheek. His fingers came away wet from the tears that were still flowing.

He didn't want to take his eyes off of her, but he knew that he had too. "Mom?" He waited until she made eye contact with him before continuing. "Can you take us to the hospital."

"Of course." She stood up without another word and walked to the car. Hanna followed after her like a shadow, and while casting a dark look at Toby she pulled open the front seat and climbed inside, leaving the back open for him and Spencer.

"Spence?"

She nodded and dug her fingers into his shoulders, using his body as leverage to pull herself up. "Let's go."

He led her to the car and carefully settled the two of them inside. Everything would be okay. It had to be okay.

* * *

SPOV

The tugging of the needle pulling through her tattered skin wasn't painful so much as just uncomfortable. She watched in fascination as the doctor expertly sewed together her loose flaps of skin. It was slightly morbid, but she couldn't look away. The discomfort, the fascination, these emotions were all stark reminders of what she was feeling right now.

_Hope._

Hope that Emily and Maya would be okay. Hope that this wouldn't be a life ruining event for any of them. Hope that she really and truly was going to be okay. This wouldn't break her. She would come out the other end stronger than ever before.

As long as Maya and Emily _were _okay. Her optimism could only go so far if either of them were hurt too badly.

The doctor tied off her stitches and gave her a quick shot of antibiotics new the wound. "You should be good to go. Just come back in a week to have those removed."

She nodded and clutched his arm as he helped her down from the table. She walked out of the room and was unsurprised to see Toby leaning against the adjacent wall. It had been hard enough to convince him not to come into the room. Had he gone to the waiting room to meet the others she would have been astounded. The boy was much too protective for his own good.

When he saw her he pushed himself off of the wall put a hand on either of her shoulders. "Are you alright?" He asked her seriously as he peered into her eyes.

There was something that was so equally unsettling and beautiful about the clear blue of his piercing gaze. She tipped upward to meet his lips in a gentle embrace. She pulled away quickly, but left her lips hovering above his. She loved him so much. His arms, his kisses, and his gentle touch were the only things that sustained her throughout her breakdown on the side of the road. Without him she had no idea where she'd be. "I'm fine, I think."

She was being much more hesitant verbally, because as fine as she felt right now, she knew that it could go away without any notice. If Emily or Maya didn't make it she would be back in the black hole. She knew it like she knew anything else. She knew there'd be no recovering from that. "Let's go upstairs. I want to see how they're doing."

He nodded and led her toward the elevator with no hesitation. Their trek to the ICU waiting room was filled with silent apprehension. What were they going to find? Her emotions were jumping all over the place. One minute she felt an unparalleled sense of contentment, and the next her heart ached with an overwhelming grief that would bring her to her knees if it weren't for the strong and stable arms of her boyfriend. She instinctively knew that what waited for them in the waiting room would either calm her more negative emotions, or it would exacerbate her more bipolar tendencies.

They stepped through the doors to the elevator, and almost immediately Spencer was ripped from Toby's arms. They were replaced with a much thinner pair of arms that belonged to her cousin. "Em? You're okay?"

Spencer could feel the deep, shuddering breaths that rocked through her body. Her arms wound around her back to help support her. Both girls pulled away in the same second, but as they made eye contact tears began to flow freely from both sets of eyes.

"Em-"

"They told-"

Both girls began to speak at the same time. Spencer laughed tearfully and gestured for Emily to go first. "They told me what you did for Maya. Even- even after w-what happened with A-aria you still did that? T-thank you. **Thank you."**

Oh God, just when she thought that she might be able to keep it together Emily's impassioned speech sent a sob ripping through her throat. "I did what anyone else would have done."

"No," Emily immediately shook her head. "No, Spencer. You are so strong. _So strong. _If I were in your shoes I would have wanted to do it, but I don't know if I would have been able to. There's no one tougher than you Spencer."

She couldn't respond to that. Anything she said would either sound braggy or cavalier. That was the probably with compliments, even ones as touching and sincere as Emily's. "Maya?"

Emily grinned through her tears. "They think that she'll be alright."

It was right then and there that the sheer emotion of the past few hours caught up to her. Both she and Emily wrapped their arms around each other and slid to the ground in a mess of tears and just plain joy. Maya would be okay. Maya would be okay. Everything was going to be fine. She wasn't able to save Aria. God, if she could go back in her life and change anything it would be that day. But she couldn't. And she had done everything then that she could do. Somehow it took helping Maya for her to see that.

Everything was going to be okay.


	20. Chapter 20

**One more chapter after this one, ladies. And I mean gents too if there are any boys out there reading this. Which I somehow doubt. ANYWAYS, yeah. But the next chapter should be long.**

**Okay so confession, this is probably my least favorite chapter in the story, and IDK why. But I hope you guys think differently! Second confession. In Maya's story at the end I was totally the Hanna to my friend's Maya. BEST. STORY. EVER. She would KILL me if she knew I was putting it on the internet, but oh well! :)**

**REVIEW.**

Chapter 20

SPOV

The hours passed by slowly. Toby kept trying to strike up a conversation with her, but she continuously brushed him off. It wasn't that she was mad at him, and it wasn't that she was all that sad. She just was content to sit in silence until they found out whether or not Maya would be alright. Logically she felt like the girl would be fine, but she wasn't going to be able to relax until they knew for certain.

Tick, tick, tick. Her eyes watched the progress of the second hand on the clock. Tick, tick, tick. It made round after round after round. The seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into hours.

"Are Maya's parents coming?" Spencer finally spoke.

"Mrs. St. Germain is afraid of hospitals, and Mr. St. Germain is out of town." Emily offered sullenly, her voice sounding exactly like Spencer felt. This was bringing back some terrible memories, but she refused to be brought down by her demons. Not when her friends needed her.

_"Spencer-"_

_"No! No, I don't care about what's wrong with me!" She yanked at the IVs, but her hands were trapped by the much larger hands of her father. "Stop. Please just stop. A-aria. Please tell me that she's okay."_

_"Spencer-" Her mother began again, the pity seeping into her concerned tone._

_"No! No, no, no, she's not dead. She can't be. Please, please tell me that she's okay. Please tell me that I didn't just kill my best friend."_

_"She-" her father swallowed, his voice sounding more emotional than she had ever heard it. "She died on impact, sweetheart. But listen to me. It wasn't-"_

_Spencer's world shattered at those words. She was a monster. A murderer._

"Is anyone here for Maya St. Germain?" The gruff voice of the doctor pulled her from her inner nightmare. Those memories would never truly leave her.

It was almost comical how quickly they all sat up. The doctor smiled and walked over to them. "I take it you guys are?"

"Is she okay?" Emily asked him anxiously.

"Are you Emily?" His smile grew slightly.

Emily nodded, confusion evident on her face. "How did you know that?"

"Maya's been awake for awhile, and she's been asking for you."

Spencer smiled the kind of smile that she hadn't smiled in a really long time. She was okay. She had been able to help Maya where she had failed Aria. She was able to make a difference, and she was able to ensure that Emily didn't have to suffer in the same way that she had. Everything was going to be okay.

"Can we see her?" Caleb took the liberty of asking what they were all thinking, because that's what Caleb did. He always knew exactly what to say.

"Yes," the doctor nodded carefully. "But don't overwhelm her, and you should know that she is on quite the cocktail of painkillers right now. She's kind of... there's not really a medical term for it, so loopy, drugged up, or high if you will."

Emily didn't wait for any other words to be spoken. She shot off down the hall like a toddler on speed. Spencer could hear Hanna quietly thanking the poor man, but she didn't stick around. She followed after Emily like a shadow. Seeing your friend in a hospital room was a painful experience, despite the knowledge that they were going to be fine. She slid into the room behind Emily and stood against the wall, wanting to give the two of them space.

"Emmy!" Maya's happy voice cheered from the bed. "Emmy, they finally let you come back here with me!"

Emily hesitated and walked slowly to the bed, perching on the edge. "Are you alright, Maya?"

"You remember that time I experimented with mari-jew-wana?" Maya asked in a very loud whisper, elongating the separate syllables.

Spencer snorted and relaxed into the embrace of Toby, who had just appeared next to her. Caleb and Hanna slide into the room just behind him.

Emily smiled and leaned down to press a careful kiss to her cheek. "I do remember that. You weren't quite as stealthy as you thought you were, and you smelled like my grandma's closet."

"Right! And your grandma smelled extra grandma-y. Okay, well this is better. This is **way** better."

"Maya, are you high?" Caleb chuckled from his spot closest to the door,.

"Caleb!" Maya cheered and looked around the room as though she just noticed that everyone else was there. "Hanna! Toby! And Spencer! Spencer oh man I need to talk to you."

Spencer smiled softly at Maya's rambling and shrugged out of Toby's arms. She took a few steps forward and looked down at Maya. "Hey, are you alright?"

"I am, thanks to you! The doctor told me that you climbed into the car and kept me awake? I kind of remember- but is that true?"

"It is. I wasn't going to leave you alone in there." Why were people so shocked by this? It's what anyone would have done.

"Get your cute little booty down here so I can give you a hug!" Maya's words were punctuated by uncontrollable giggles. They were clearly giving her the good stuff. She remembered the feeling clearly.

Spencer's smile only grew as she approached the bed and carefully wrapped her arms around Maya. Maya hugged back and laughed into her hair. "I love you, Spencer. I'm glad you came to school here even if you used to be a saddy mess."

"Okay, enough of this mushy stuff! Let's play a game!" Hanna interjected and collapsed on a chair next to the door dramatically.

"What kind of game?" Toby asked as he sat down on another chair. Clearly everyone was settled in for the long haul.

"I'm going to go hit the vending machine. Don't start anything fun without me." Caleb dug his wallet out of his back pocket and walked out of the room.

Hanna watched him leave with a smirk before turning back to Maya. "Okay, Maya! I invented a really fun new game for you. Do you want to play?"

As soon as Maya's attention was diverted, Spencer stood up and sat on the chair between Hanna and Toby. This seemed like a recipe for hilarity. Hanna had her mischievous face on.

Maya nodded eagerly, her brown hair bouncing around her face. "I love games. They're fun. I definitely want to play!"

"Okay! Great, this game is called truth or truth," Hanna began. "It's pretty simple. We'll just take turns asking you questions, and you get a million points if you answer correctly."

Caleb walked back in at the end of Hanna's explanation and chuckled as he handed out candy bars to everyone. "Are we playing truth or truth? That's my favorite game!"

Maya looked at Hanna thoughtfully. "Is this a trick? You're really tricky, Hanna."

"A trick? Me? Never!"

If Maya had been thinking clearly she would have seen that for the obvious yes that it was. "Okay, let's play!"

"Great!" Hanna grinned and glanced around the room. "I'll go first! Maya, have you ever kissed anyone in a weird place? And by place I mean physical location. We don't need to hear details of your dirty little exploits."

"Um-" Maya thought for a second before her eyes lit up. "Oh, I know!"

"Maya," Emily warned as though she knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Sorry, Em. It's the rules! When I was still trying to woo my Emmy Bear I took her hiking because she's a sports dork. And then we found this creek that we went swimming in and we um- kissed a lot and yeah... this cop drove by and caught us!"

A long snort escaped from Spencer's nose, and she wasn't sure whether she was laughing at the Emmy Bear comment, the mental picture of Maya and Em getting caught making out by a cop, or how her Aunt Pam would have reacted had she found out about this.

"Okay, that's a million points, Maya! Want to go for two million?"

Maya nodded eagerly, so Hanna glanced at Caleb, who was still leaning against the door frame. "You go."

"Okay, I've got a good one. Are you ready for this?"

"Only duh," Maya sighed, sounding much more like Hanna than herself.

"Okay Maya, what's the craziest thing that you've ever done?"

"Oh my God, you guys know this story. What a waste of a question," she groaned and grabbed a pillow from behind her neck to clutch to her chest.

"The first time you got drunk...?" Emily trailed off in a fit of giggles.

"Um, yes," she nodded in approval at Emily's deduction. "But I will tell it again for Spencer's sake, because it's kind of a wonderful story."

"Oh shit," Caleb laughed. "I forgot all about that. Yes, God yes. Please tell us that story again."

"Okay, okay," Maya began, trying to calm down her laughter. She turned to Spencer, who leaned forward eagerly. Judging by the laughter around the room she was the only person who hadn't heard this story before. "Okay, so I got drunk for the first time last year. I was out with my cousins, and Han came with us. Except Han didn't drink because she was a good little girl."

Hanna laughed, "Um no. It was because you all were a bunch of drunk asses, and someone had to drive you home."

"Okay, whatever," Maya continued. "Hanna dropped everyone else off first, and we came to her house last. Her mom was out of town, so no one would notice my rather intoxicated state."

"You were completely trashed, girl! I'm surprised you even remember this much. Even your sex, drugs, and rock and roll loving parents would have dropped dead had you walked into that door."

"I don't think that I _do _remember," Maya clarified, still laughing. Spencer was actually impressed that she was able to understand her. "I have just heard you tell it so many times. Well, anyway we got to Hanna's house, and by that point we both just wanted to get to bed. The difference was that I was content to sleep in the back of my car. Hanna tried to get me out, but eventually she gave up and pushed me the rest of the way into the car, locked the doors, and went inside."

Oh Lord, this wasn't going to end well. But apparently it still made for a great story. Maya took a moment to try to control the laughter that had only intensified as they approached the apparent punch line. "Okay, okay so the next morning Hanna comes out to get me and- Oh my God I can't. Hanna you tell this part."

Hanna nodded and sucked in a couple deep breaths to control herself. "Okay, so I come out to find Maya gnawing on the seat, and when I pulled her away there was a chunk of the leather missing from the seat! We looked for it all over the car, but we couldn't find it! She ate it. But that's not even the best part."

"How does it even get better than that?" Spencer asked between her laughter. Tears were pricking at the corner of her eyes, and her stomach hurt. Just the mental picture of Maya eating her car was killing her. "She ate her car?"

"She did! And apparently she had had a bit too much liquid, because she also peed herself. But she must have been laying at a perfect angle, because it hit her phone. She broke her phone by peeing on it. I just- I-" Hanna cut her self off and shook her head apologetically as she began laughing so hard that she couldn't speak.

"You- you peed? On your- phone?" Spencer managed to choke out. She grabbed onto Toby's arm to stop herself from falling out of her chair as the laughter consumed her. "Oh my- God."

"Right? Right? Oh my God it was so embarrassing, but I have the best story in the history of stories now!"

And it was in that moment that Spencer realized something. Everything was fine. She was happy. For the first time in recent memory she was really and truly joyful. The world wasn't in black and white anymore. She wasn't waiting for the other shoe to drop. She wasn't expecting sadness to come barreling around the corner.

She knew what she had to do next. Once her laughter died down she turned to Toby and asked him softly. "Will you come somewhere with me?" She knew that she wouldn't be able to do it alone, but with Toby by her side she could do anything.


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm tired, but I'm totes pulling an all-nighter tonight. That's the finals life, right? Anyways make me happy? I have SIX TESTS TOMORROW. SIX. Make my life better and review? Pretty please!?**

**Anyways, this is the last chapter! There were times when I was ready to give up on this story, but you all kept me going! I love you all to the moon and back, and I hope to see you at my other stories! If you haven't, go check out Let's Go Back to the Start. It's sad and wonderful in equal measures.**

**LOVE YOU!**

Chapter 21

SPOV

As she suspected, Toby followed her out of Maya's room and through the hospital with no hesitation. He didn't ask questions, and he didn't try to stop her as she led him outside and to his truck.

She glanced at the gift shop as the exited the hospital. Part of her wanted to stop and grab some flowers, but she knew that if she stopped she was never going to have the nerve to go through with this. She would understand.

"Spence, where are we going?"

She was actually impressed that he made it this far without asking. She would have been pestering him from the moment that they left Maya's room. "I- I think that I need to go see Aria's grave."

She leaned against the passenger door of his truck and waited for him to say something. Her wide, brown eyes vigilantly studied his face for some kind of reaction. For some reason she was outrageously worried about what he thought.

But she didn't have to worry. Almost immediately he nodded shortly and turned to head around the front of the truck.

"Wait," she stopped him with one word, and before she even realized what she was saying she continued. "Can I drive?"

The shocked look on his face was almost enough to make her laugh. She was too nervous to laugh, but his expression caused her to crack a small smile. "I haven't lost my mind. It's just time, you know? I can't be afraid forever."

He just continued to stare until, without warning, he walked back to her and wrapped her in his strong embrace. His lips pressed to the top her her head, and she could feel his arms shaking slightly. "I am so incredibly proud of you."

"I couldn't have done it without you," she murmured, too overcome by emotion to say much more. She was determined to drive, and crying wasn't going to make that any easier.

"Spence-" he began, pulling away slightly so that he could see her face.

"No Toby, seriously. For the longest time I just felt broken. My old classmates thought I was some kind of murderer. My parents thought I was a hopeless case, so they just began to ignore my very real problems. But then I came here and you guys, all of you, treated me like I was a person again. You treated me like I mattered. My depression wasn't an issue. You didn't ignore it, but you didn't make me feel broken either. And you. You literally and truly saved my life Toby. I just- I couldn't have done this without you."

He lifted a hand to gently stroke her cheek. "I love you," he replied simply, and slid the keys into her hand. He followed behind her and held the driver's side door open for her like a perfect gentleman.

Now that she was behind the wheel a sense of dread built up in her stomach, but she pushed it down. She was going to do this. She started the car, and the roar of the engine cause he to jump.

Toby's door shut and his hand immediately found her thigh, his thumb rubbing out a soothing circle. "You got this, Spence. You can do it."

She didn't look at him. It wasn't because she didn't want to, but it was more because she knew that she needed to do this on her own. Toby had helped her get to this point, but she had to take it from here.

She sucked in a deep breath and slowly shifted the truck into drive. She drove about ten miles per hour below the speed limit. Her hands stayed exactly at 10 and 2, and her gaze vigilantly swept the road for any obstructions. But she was doing it. She was driving.

A wide smile spread across her face. It didn't lessen the tension in her body, but regardless she was thrilled. She was beyond thrilled. She never thought that she'd be able to do this again. And she never thought that someone would trust her enough to get in a car that she was driving. But Toby did. And she was driving. She was _driving._

The past year had been dominated by setback after setback. She had to transfer schools. She refused to drive. She didn't eat. She barely spoke. But right here? This was a victory. It was progress of the highest order, and it was something to celebrate.

She pulled into the cemetery, and the elation quickly evaporated from her face. This was also progress, and the fact that she wanted to do it was also worthy of celebration. But that would have to come later. Pain was the first thing she had to deal with.

"Have you never been here before?"

She had almost forgotten that Toby was in the car with her. "No," she replied quietly. "I was still in the hospital during her funeral, and I just couldn't bring myself to come after that."

"Do you want me to come out with you?"

She nodded. "I am one hundred percent positive that if I try to do this alone I'm going to run away."

"You're so much stronger than you think you are."

Since she pulled up she hadn't looked at his face, but she didn't have to in order to gauge his sincerity. She could hear it dripping from his voice. She nodded softly and exited the car without another word. The walk through the cemetery was quiet. She had never been there before, but she did know exactly where Aria's grave was.

_"My parents are so incredibly morbid."_

_"What are you talking about now, Drama Queen?" Spencer laughed and put down her highlighter. When Aria talked like that she knew she was going to have to calm her down._

_"Let me show you!"_

_The two of them got in Aria's car, Aria eagerly and Spencer reluctantly. Spencer had no idea where they were going, but she trusted Aria not to get her lost or murdered. When they pulled up in front of the cemetery her concern heightened. "What are we doing here?"_

_"Showing you my parents morbidity!" Aria huffed and climbed out of the car, darted up the slight incline of grass._

_Spencer hurried to catch up to her. "Aria! Slow down and tell me what's going on!"_

_"My stupid parents bought my grave!"_

_"What?" Of all the things that Aria could have said that was about the last thing that she suspect. "They bought your grave?"_

_"Yes! The place where they're going to bury my body. I mean obviously I know I'm going to die someday, but it'd be nice to live in blissful ignorance until then! But no, now I have to know the spot where I'm going to end up."_

_A smile twitched at the corner of Spencer's lips. She had to admit that it was a bit weird, but it was honestly more funny. When Aria flopped down on the grass Spencer sat down next to her. "This is it?"_

_Aria nodded morosely and laid back on the grass. "Yep! You better bring me flowers every single day."_

_"Well," she bit her lip to stop from laughing. "At least you have a nice view!"_

_She dodged the handful of grass that Aria threw in her direction and settled down herself. Life was good._

She approached the gravestone with certain trepidation. This was nerve wrecking. She could just imagine Aria sassing her for not visiting her. She smiled softly at the thought and perched on the grass in front of the stone. "Hey A."

A deep breath dragged in through the spaces between her teeth, and she closed her eyes to garnish the courage to say what she needed to say. "I love you, Aria. And I'm sorry I didn't come see you earlier. And I'm sorry that I didn't bring the flowers that I promised you. The thing is, I've been kind of messed up over your dying. I know you're probably up there in heaven rolling your eyes, but you know how I get. I always feel this asinine desire to take on the weight of the world. It's pointless, and I'm sorry. You'll always be my best friend, Aria. To infinity and beyond."

How she managed to get through that little speech without crying she'll never know, but it was still a massive relief. It was as though this massive weight was lifted off of her shoulders. Aria wouldn't have been mad at her, but it still felt good to apologize.

She looked back at Toby with a small, half-smile. Her hand reached out of its own accord and latched onto his. She turned back to the tombstone. "And this is Toby. You'd like him. Remember that time you listed out all the qualities that a guy would have to have for him to pass the best friend test? It's like you were talking about him specifically. Actually, I'm not convinced that you didn't orchestrate this to push us together. That sounds like the big romantic gestures that you love."

Toby scooted forward slightly and pulled her securely against his shoulder. "Hey Aria. I'm really upset we didn't get to meet, because you-"

She tuned out his exact words, because they didn't matter. Here he was talking to an inanimate object just to indulge her; just to make her feel better. She might have been young, but of one thing she was absolutely certain. Toby Cavanaugh was it for her. He was all she wanted, and as long as she had him she was fine.

As she relaxed into his arms she looked up at the sky with a smile. Finally she felt peace. Everything was going to be okay.


End file.
